Psyche logo

It Steals Your Life Away

What do you do, baby?

By Victor VazPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
Like
Image belongs to owner

"What does depression feel like? Well, it's as if someone or something steals your life away--or what's left of it, anyway."

Hello, there. My name is Victor, and this is my very first article: "It Steals Your Life Away." I am a clinical/major depression sufferer, and I'm here to address this sickness to you. What's that you say? Why? Well, in real life, I don't talk at all (I haven't had any conversation today)... but my soul demands some attention, and what better way than to transform what I feel into this, right?

As I'm writing, I feel very depressed... As I write I feel like I'm a hollowed shell with a small voice hiding inside that's tender as a fetus—I guess that's my soul? I feel like I don't want to be here, but I have to for those around me; if I was orphaned, I'd be gone—Gone with the Wind. I'm smart enough to get through this (that voice, that fetal-skinned, soul-like thing in me is telling me to hold on).

But you might be here thinking, "Well, Victor! Why don't you solve that?" or "Why are you here if you're sheerly depressed?" You must know that there's another side to this: I take medication, but it's not working at the moment. That quote that you read at the very top of this article was written by me; and I was intending to post that on Facebook, but who's to read a post about someone like me? I post things like this to expose this monster, not for the pity.

What's that? You're wondering if I'm suicidal? I think about death too much, but like I said, I will get through this. Don't get me wrong! I would commit suicide in a heartbeat, but love draws me back—interesting for someone who's never been loved before...what does it feel like? I guess that's another post for another day...

What I feel like doing right now is to have Jesus appear before me and have my humanoid body be beaten to death by physical harm; only so Jesus can see the madness one can do here in this physical plane... for me to feel better, to express what I feel from the inside. I also feel like I'm trapped in a box made out of steel and I'm trying to get out! But the only thing I can do is to propel my body against the inner walls. That sounds scary, but it is what it is. It steals what's left of... what makes you, you. Another way I can place my depression is through the lens of fish without air: When I feel depressed, I feel like air has been sucked out of my lungs, my breathing becomes labored and heavy...

Depression is different for everyone. It's like a customized mental illness that fits right for you... and with it comes a unique solution; but this solution is often at the exit of a maze that only you are able to find.

With all that stated, I think it's safe to say that it's time to wear my little happy mask and go out into the public once again.

I hope this article helps you understand depression, or the madness I feel. I hope to write more articles in the future. I hope to write for an audience; if not, then for myself—hey! Maybe someone in the next century might read this.., but it's unlikely since I'm just a small plant in a big forest.

Oh! I say farewell to you with this beautiful music video about depression by Nickelback, "Lullaby."

depression
Like

About the Creator

Victor Vaz

Greetings. My name is VV, you can call me Chaneke, Jinjo, Peachboy, Arsenie, but not Omar; as only my family calls me that.

I decided to join Vocal to expose certain things you must know; things no one talks about (future articles for you).

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.