Let's Talk.

Social media seriously harms your mental health.

I'm not going to say that social media contributes to all of the internal struggles you may have, but I will say that it may contribute to some. Maybe most.

For example, I look at myself watching people online doing extravagant things and I think... why am I not doing those things? Why can't I do that? As I'm thinking that, I'm setting these unrealistic expectations for myself and my life which in the long run creates much more disappointment for me because those expectations are just so unrealistic that of COURSE, I won't be able to meet them, therefore, leading to a bigger disappointment. It starts to become a habit and my self-esteem begins to deteriorate. I continuously try to remind myself that I, along with everyone else who is alive and breathing, we all live different lives and we never experience things in the same way. It's beautiful when you think about it, you're experiencing this day a lot different than I am and you can interpret it in any way you want to. The benefit of free thought!

There is also no set guideline to how you should live your life. We were bred to believe that we have to do well in school for a good 14 years of your life, then spend MORE time in school for another two to eight years and then go off to start working. That's not always it. Life is whatever you desire it to be. Whether it be staying in school for a good fraction of your life or just living life going a different path. It's a lot more fun that way. The freedom that comes with breaking the mold of the norms put on us since birth, is the best freedom. Just imagine if everyone lived for themselves and not living a different version of someone else's life. We'd probably be a lot happier if we weren't constantly shown the life we aren't living, riding on boats and weekends in different countries... or just seeing your friends partying without you. We currently look at people and subconsciously think we want to be them. Every day I try to do it less and less until I break out of the habit of wishing I was someone else, until I grow up to be the person I want to be, not the person that I see on my Instagram feed. To be completely frank with you, it is a hard habit to shake off.

I've tried many times to delete my Snapchat, delete my Instagram, delete delete delete, but it never really pulls through because every time there is even a sliver of an uncomfortable silence or a split second of an awkward situation, I pull out my phone and start scrolling. I've realized that doing so kind of dehumanizes me in a way. Most people would rather "slide into dms" or "hit someone up" over social media over just experiencing these raw emotions in-person. Yeah getting rejected isn't fun at all but at least you have the capability to feel such things. It is a more raw and genuine experience.

The first time I heard the words "I love you" from a partner was over Facetime. It didn't really feel special. We're not taking risks anymore. We've become more fearful of the consequences of our emotions and our own human processes that we don't even go through in the way that we should. You like this guy/girl? Start off with a hi. Greet them. Make them feel comfortable. You want to be friends with someone? Ease into being more welcoming.

One thing I do also want to touch on is the feeling of heartbreak. That cheesy saying "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" couldn't be any more true.

I have spoken to people who have said that they regret falling in love immediately following a heartbreak. Personally, I could never regret being able to feel an emotion so deeply for someone. Not even if they hurt me, I look at it as a good thing. This is just the aftermath of experiencing something beautiful, "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all," Tennyson took the words right from my mouth.

To finish off, I want to shed light on the importance of being grateful.

I look at my mother, I look at some of the amazing and supportive people in my life and can't help but feel so grateful. It is definitely easier said than done, especially if you currently are in a not-so-good point in your life where you are blinded by all the bull that life just inevitably throws in your direction. I don't believe that it could be worse. That statement is used to dismiss all of the feelings that you are allowed to feel. We all face our own inner demons with different names and different backstories on why they are there in the first place. Anyone who degrades how you feel is just afraid to deal with their own inner demons. They want you to overlook your problems instead of helping you work through them. I've been the victim of looking over and past things rather than accepting them and going through it so I could come out of the other end stronger. I remember being that one girl who was okay with settling for less, being thrown around like a rag doll, never defending myself mentally, and being so weak-minded that I fell into the mold of what people wanted me to be. It wasn't until I was abandoned by friends, by boyfriends, and at the time I didn't have the relationship with my parents that I have now, that I learned how to be alone. I learned how to grow alone, how to defend myself, and how to accept loss because I know that in the end, I would always have myself.

With that, I also had to come to the realization that it was okay to be alone. It was okay for my achievements to stay silent. I didn't have to share my whole life with the world because everyone else was doing it. I am grateful that I went through some of the worst moments of my life because they sure taught me a thing or two. One of the greatest things that it taught me was that it is okay to be alone and it is okay to learn more about yourself without constantly being in the presence of others.