Let Your Voice Be Heard

Finding your voice is a difficult road for everyone.

This last couple of years I've had to push past my boundaries, learn how to adult, know when to say no, and stop letting people push me around. These last couple years I have grown more then I ever thought possible. I have surrounded myself with positive, loving people who just want the best for me. I have let go of the people who were no good for me and dragged me down. I have learned how important communication is and implemented all these lessons into my teachings for my children. My kids have watched me grow and we have become closer then before. All these changes in my life, one more difficult than the last, and yet I push on.

I was surrounded by negative people my whole life telling me I couldn't do anything, feeding me lies about how worthless I was. I had abusive parents who put me down (both physically and emotionally) and as soon as I escaped that house I put myself in an even more toxic setting with a possessive guy who wouldn't let me get a job or learn how to drive. My mind was and still is filled with their voices. It's a constant struggle to pick myself up, dust myself off, and continue on. I fight with my depressive side who won't let me out of bed in the morning. I have a hard time keeping a job, not because I don't like to work but because of coworkers or bosses who feed on drama and negativity. As soon as that kind of stuff starts happening, I'm online looking for the next place of employment. My demons were strong and I didn't need to add to them with my coworkers. I have a hard time with friends because I don't trust that they will stay. I have a lot of issues.

Since deciding that this all needs to stop, that I don't deserve to be treated like this, and that I want more out of life, I have discovered a whole new me. I found a partner in life who pushes me to do things, who believes in me, and takes care of me when I have my really bad days. I have bought a house, got a car, got my kids back, and now we have a puppy. We are living the "American dream" — a house with a picket fence, one point two kids, and a dog! We spend a lot of time together and that helps keep my demons away. I feel like I found a job that won't go sour and the owner cares about making sure I am home for my kiddos. I actually was able to get both my kids into some extra curricular activities. My daughter and son are both in Scouts and my son just started basketball.

The moral of my story is that you can do anything! I got out, I found positive people, and am slowly letting go of my past. It's a difficult and slow process but I promise you once you get the ball rolling you will feel so much better. You will struggle every day. You will have your really bad days. You will fight with your inner demons and those voices you have heard constantly BUT you have a voice, you have power, and you are worth it! Keep fighting and good things will happen. I used to not believe it either, but here I am writing out my story and it feels so good!

Thank you so much for listening.