Living with Anxiety

Unless a person suffers with anxiety, they will never understand anxiety. People think it's the same as depression or think that it is an excuse to be anti-social....it is not. Anxiety is the crippling cramps you get at the thought of being in an uncomfortable situation. It is the constant nausea and irritable bowel syndrome you get when you have a meeting to go to. The extra panic when getting ready in the morning because you feel so uncomfortable in your own skin. It is feeling all your imperfections ten times over.

You want to be alone because being around people makes you feel on edge...like you are being watched and judged...paranoid. It turns you agoraphobic...anywhere outside your home is unsafe or undisclosed territory to you. It takes preparation to ready yourself to go to the local shop, or do the school run or go to work.

A common misconception is that people who have anxiety are depressed...this is not true...although they can be interlinked it is not necessarily a black or white connection. You can be happy but still be anxious...a happy face can hide a thousand insecurities. And people with anxiety can be quite good at hiding it. Not everyone who has anxiety has a medication either...some prefer to self-manage rather than self-medicate. But either one is perfectly okay.

Some people need to get medical help and can end up with a stay in a mental health institution...some go to counseling and some just go to themselves. Anxiety is isolating and scary and completely unpredictable. You can get anxiety attackswhich may or may not include panic attacks or may resemble a panic attack....sweaty palms, difficulty breathing, headaches, dizziness, feeling faint, accelerated heart rate, even palpitations. And all of this can happen anytime...no warnings. This means it can be difficult to control which only adds to people's anxiety.

Anxiety is an awful disorder to live with and can make relationships very difficult to obtain and keep. For me, I need a push...my partner will make me go outside when I'm struggling. He will make me get dressed and make me walk down the road or go to the party. He really helps...once I have been out for a while I acclimatize and get used to my surroundings and feel a little more comfortable. And I am so grateful to him for that. I still struggle going shopping by myself and doing some things by myself. But he makes everything a little bit easier and makes me love him all the more. Sometimes it just takes one person for you to feel comfortable with, who can help knock the anxiety back down a little bit, and this really helps.

I guess for me the worst bit about having anxiety is that people do not always understand it and can mock it or be harsh about it. People telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself and stop being silly...I'm not being silly, I am being me and if people think that my feelings are silly...then I have to wonder if they really are worth being a part of my life.

My anxieties are a part of me...they are not the best part, but they are there and that is not going to change anytime soon...I need to be around people who do understand and who will be patient with me and eventually overcome my anxieties...anxiety is something that can be beaten down....eventually. I wish anyone reading this who has anxiety, the very best in overcoming it. If you do not suffer from anxiety and you are reading this...I hope you start to understand a little more.