Living with Mental Illness

There is a stigma that comes with mental illness. It is looked down on, joked about, and quite often, it's dismissed. Believe it or not, mental illness is more common than you might think. One in four adults are affected by mental illness. That is 61,500,000 people in a given year. Not only is it common, it also does not discriminate. You see people on social media or at school or work and you think they have everything figured out, that because they're smiling and laughing or because they have a million friends, they're happy and everything is okay. Wrong. I'm here to tell you, that is all just a cover up.

I am part of the 61,500,00 people that suffer from mental illness. I have suffered from depression and PTSD for more than six years now. Believe me when I say it is nothing to be ashamed of. Yeah it sucks and yeah it is a huge factor in my life, but it doesn't make me any less "normal" than anyone else—whatever "normal" even is. For the longest time, I felt completely alone. I felt like an outcast and like a "crazy" person because I didn't have control over my emotions. I thought no one could possibly understand what I was dealing with, and quite honestly, I was embarrassed of it. When I was in school, going to therapy was joked about. I never even considered such a thing when I was younger. I thought I was just sad and going through some tough times. Unfortunately, those "tough times" lasted for years. I didn't think therapy was even an option for me. I didn't talk to my parents about what exactly I was dealing with. They knew I was depressed, but they didn't know to what extent. I eventually tucked all of my emotional issues away. I pretended they never existed and told myself I was fine.

It took me until January of 2018 to admit I needed help. I was slowly deteriorating as a person. I had lost all interest in everything I had ever loved. I could no longer feel emotions at this point, and honestly, I just wanted to disappear. I knew that I could no longer fight this on my own. I reached out to someone close to me that goes to therapy and asked her honest opinion on how helpful it was. She told me it was the best thing she had ever decided to do. I realized if she could do it, so could I. I made the call and scheduled my first appointment to see someone. Terrified doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I was exposing myself to a complete stranger. Kind of like I'm doing now on here. I can honestly say it was the best decision I have ever made. The doctor prescribed me medication to help with the depression and PTSD, along with therapy. Not only am I not ashamed of my mental illness, I am PROUD that I found the strength to seek help. If you are reading this and you struggle daily to just survive, please know and believe that you are NOT alone. You are NOT crazy. You are NOT an outcast. And you CAN fight it.