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Mental Health at 20 Years Old

Journal No. 1

It is quite the puzzle sometimes.

Personally, I think the age of 20 is SO WEIRD. Some of my friends have absolutely no idea what they are doing in life. However, others have everything figured out it seems. Both of which are totally okay. Everyone has a different timeline and pace. For me, things are a bit different. I have depression and anxiety, and boy... aren't they just the dynamic duo (HA).

I tried going to The Ohio State University last fall and ended up having the worst anxiety attack I have ever encountered to this day. It lasted days. I ended up coming home two days after it initially started. I attended counseling once I got home and saw my doctor to see if there was a better medication for my disorders. Later that spring, I attended Youngstown State University in order to gain some credits as well as strengthen my social skills. I am now strong enough to leave home and will attend Denison University in the fall (P.S. for all of my Steve Carrel fans, that is where he graduated!).

Throughout my life, I have always been different, in a way (aren't we all?). I believe I have actually grown up with these two obstacles. Once I reached my teenage years EVERYTHING in my mind went WILD. I was experiencing a darkness I couldn't explain. Have any of you guys felt this way? The thoughts that would race through my mind were unimaginable. I didn't know a darkness like this existed.

Well, I just kind of went about my life without telling anyone nor doing anything about this darkness. Let me tell you guys something, DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. You have got to tell someone. I promise you once you do, it is an entirely new life, my friends. Here I am Turning 20, post counseling, and on medication for depression and anxiety. By the way, I'm not saying that counseling and medication solved everything. I have to work extremely hard to defeat depression and anxiety. It is a battle every single day. I am sure some of you reading this can definitely relate. In today’s society, depression is sadly very common. In order to overcome the stigma, the society needs to unite as one and help comfort our peers. It is necessary to comfort our peers in order for one to open up about one’s issues or mental illnesses because it is impossible to know what one is going through by simply looking at him or her. If members in our society are able to comfort each other, I believe it is an immense milestone in treating depression.

It's extremely tough dealing with these obstacles at this age because some people just consider them as a joke. People my age constantly make jokes about being depressed or suicidal and it aggravates me to NO END. That is quite possibly the most irritating thing in this life because guess what... MENTAL HEALTH IS NOT A JOKE. Social media doesn't really help in that aspect either. I'll scroll through Twitter and see so many people abusing the terms 'depressed' and 'suicide' far too often. It breaks my heart witnessing people speak about such things so leisurely. At the age of 20 sometimes our peers can be quite immature. A lot of the times they don't think about the consequences of saying such things. My goal is to change this. It is going to take time, however, I am extremely motivated to help people with mental illnesses become stronger. I will spread awareness as best I can and I hope whoever is reading this is with me!

Please spread kindness today my friends.

If you are in need of some inspiration or positive vibes, checkout my mental health instagram account - @healthymind_happysoul

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