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Mental Illness: The Demons Within

Chapter 2: Depression

By Alyssa LactinPublished 6 years ago 9 min read
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The first mental illness I will talk about is depression; clinical depression is when the symptoms of short-term depression are persistent. The symptoms of clinical depression are feeling sad most days, decreased interest in activities that the individual once enjoyed, change in appetite, disturbed sleeping habits, change in activity, fatigue or loss of energy, feeling guilty or helpless, having low self-esteem, decreased ability to concentrate or make decisions, and thinking about death or suicide. Symptoms vary depending on age and severity of the illness, but these are generally the symptoms of depression.

If you go back to chapter 1 and read the definition of possession you will see that it fits with the definition of depression. Some, if not all, symptoms of depression, are also symptoms of possession; even the names themselves sound similar.

In cases of possession, the individual loses interest in activities they once enjoyed, their appetite changes as well as their sleeping habits. Literally, every symptom of depression has been mentioned in cases of possession that I have researched. The severity of the symptoms varies of course, depending on the individual and what form of possession they are suffering from (mental illness or demonic).

Depression was the first illness I was diagnosed with and though I was not diagnosed until I was 13, after a suicide attempt, I believe I was suffering from depression at a much earlier age. When I was around 9, I attempted to drown myself. After being diagnosed with depression, I saw a therapist and began taking medication and after some time, was told I was depression free but not very long after that, the depression resurfaced and I was re-diagnosed with clinical depression and bipolar disorder (which I will talk about in the next chapter) and it was at that time that I knew this was something I would have to deal with for the rest of my life.

At the time I did not notice the similarities between my illness and demonic possession as I did not know a lot about mental illnesses at that age, however I did know about demonic possession, as I did quite a lot of research on the paranormal at a young age and was also raised believing in the paranormal.

In chapter 1, I mentioned suicide attempts and feeling like a puppet on a string and being possessed by a force stronger than me, this was especially the case when I hung myself at age 13. Almost as if I was in a trance and had no control of my body, I tied a rope to the rafters in the unfinished ceiling in my room, tied the rope around my neck, stood on my bed and jumped off.

I could feel the rope tighten around my neck and could not breathe and it was in that moment that I was hit with the feeling of fear and regret. My little brother happened to find me and he helped me down and called my parents who then got me the help I needed. If it wasn’t for him, I truly believe I would not be here today.

I believe one of the causes of my depression was my biological father Tim, he wasn’t good to me and my siblings, and then he left and moved to another province, I blamed myself for him leaving and also blamed myself for my parents’ divorce even though I was just a child and couldn’t have possibly been the cause of their divorce.

The pain he initiated was a demon I fought with daily for a very long time, only when I finally forgave him, did I win that particular battle. There will be more on that battle in a different chapter; depression is not the only illness that he caused.

Though it is not a mental illness, I am also epileptic and therefore would like to discuss that in this chapter as well because like mental illnesses, epilepsy is also very much similar to possession and is still brain related. My seizures are not severe at all so I cannot compare my experiences to that of someone who has severe seizures due to epilepsy or possession, but I can state my opinion of the two based on what I have seen in documentaries or read in books or articles.

In cases of both epileptic seizures and demonic possession, the individual twists and contorts their body in unnatural ways, ways the body was not meant to move in and can foam at the mouth and their eyes can roll to the back of their head so that it appears as though their eyes are white.

In the Readers Digest Association, Inc. book, there is an article on possession and in the article it states that:

“Medical and psychological conditions likely to produce symptoms confused with those of possession are epilepsy, hysteria, and multiple personality.”

So just like mental illnesses, epilepsy can be mistaken for possession or the other way around. Before one can claim possession, epilepsy along with mental illness, must be ruled out. While a demonic possession can last for several hours, an epileptic seizure usually lasts no more than a few minutes.

There are other noticeable differences as well for example a person speaking a different language that they don’t even know. That would not occur during an epileptic seizure. When I have a seizure it is more like I am in a trance, my eyes flutter and I stare blankly ahead and do not respond to people at first.

Now, going back to the topic of depression and possession; Because of the tragic case of Anneliese Michel it is now mandatory, in Germany at least, for loved ones to seek medical attention for the individual who they believe to be possessed and not simply rely on priests and exorcisms. Failure to seek medical attention for them will result in charges of neglect and homicide.

Whether she was indeed possessed by a demon or suffered from severe mental illness or illnesses and\or epileptic seizures, her story is heartbreaking and is a lesson that whether you believe the person is mentally ill or maybe possessed, you must seek medical attention for them even during an exorcism or during the time of their potential possession. You cannot immediately assume they are possessed, because so many illnesses have identical symptoms to those of possession, you must rule out all other possibilities first and even then medical attention is still needed.

The definition of demons and exorcism is where a person, for reasons unknown, shows a dramatic change of being. Their actions become violent and even inhuman. They may expel foul substances, utter shocking profanities, make strange sounds, and distort their bodies in extraordinary ways.

These actions are believed by some, to be evidence of possession by the devil but can also be evidence of a mental or possibly even a physical illness. I share the belief of Lorraine Warren, that spirits do not possess people, only demons do, so if all other possibilities have been ruled out, I believe that demonic possession would be the only explanation.

However, if you believe that spirits can possess people as well, then that is another possibility and one that would be less severe than that of demonic possession unless the spirit is a powerful one. I do not believe a good spirit would possess a person, I believe they would possess an object or a building but never a person.

An individual suffering from depression and other mental illnesses will most likely suffer from them for the rest of their lives whereas a person who is suffering from possession will eventually be cured after some time (although there have been very rare cases where someone claims a spirit does not leave them but that the occurrences become less frequent).

But with the right therapy and medication a mental illness is much easier to control over time than a possession would be, however that can depend on the severity of the illness or possession and the person suffering from it. As previously mentioned, not everyone deals with them the same way.

A former friend of mine was a major trigger for a few of my mental illnesses including depression (I will explain more about his involvement with my other illnesses in those chapters) he was very emotionally and mentally abusive, controlling and manipulative. He encouraged me to end my life and his sister did as well.

Sadly he did those things while we were friends or while I thought we were friends. It wasn’t until the friendship ended that I realized he was a demon I had been fighting without even knowing it. I was finally freed of his control though and it was like a weight had been lifted off of me, it felt great.

When I overdosed on sleeping pills, my former friend left me alone with the bottle of pills sitting next to me and didn’t even have the decency to call 911 for me and wait with me until they arrived, to ensure my safety.

Recently, a new law has been placed, stating that if a person leaves an individual who is suicidal by themselves, they can be charged because by doing that, they are encouraging the person to end their life and enabling them to do so therefore they are just as responsible for the person’s injuries or death.

Lucky for him, that law did not exist at the time and lucky for him, I survived the attempt. He also knew I was self-harming and instead of finding a way to get me help, he just let me do it, and accused me of wanting attention when I tried to turn to him for help. He didn’t even care what I was doing.

Like I said before, it wasn’t until I was free from him that I realized the power he had over me, much like the “demons” that are my mental illnesses. No one should ever have that kind of power over someone and sadly he has that power over many others and they don’t even realize it. Someone I love very much is under his control and I don’t think he knows it and it’s heartbreaking to see it happen and know there is nothing I can do.

Going back to the topic of possession and it’s similarities to depression; Individuals that suffer from mental illness can become very violent and may severely injure or even kill other people or animals, something which a person who is possessed would also do. There have been many cases of such things happening.

Unfortunately, cases that severe are very common, as many criminals that are in prison for doing terrible, evil things have at least one mental illness, which they have had since childhood or after a traumatic experience or they have claimed that they were possessed. These people, unfortunately, give everyone who has a mental illness, a bad name. We are all looked at negatively by some people as if they think anyone with a mental illness will eventually commit such evil acts.

An example of one of these severe cases is that of Ronald DeFeo who, at the age of 24, shot and killed his entire family while they slept. He claimed that he was possessed and that voices in his head told him to do it. Some believe he really was possessed by the devil who forced him to kill his family; others believe he was mentally ill, I don’t think that anyone knows the truth even now.

But whether he was mentally ill or possessed by the devil himself, he most likely did not have control of his actions until it was too late and then he turned himself in. While this case is not the only one of its kind, it is certainly one of the most famous ones.

depression
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About the Creator

Alyssa Lactin

I am 29 years old. I love reading, writing and collecting antique books. I also enjoy singing and the outdoors. I hope to do some more writing in the future :) I am not a professional writer at all but I do enjoy it and hope to improve. :)

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