Mentally Sensitive

I wish I could say there is a simple answer to mental illness. An answer that would make all the pain, depression, mania, euphoria, loss, bad decisions, regret, positive/negative symptoms associated with it and take it away. But there isn’t. Although if I could tell you one thing or perhaps just one word that may sound so cliche but in fact for me worked it would be, try.

I was in a psychiatric intensive care unit/psych ward for a total of six months. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder and traits of borderline personality disorder at the age of 18 and then readmitted a year later at 19. Fast forward five years and I graduated the practical nursing program. My final preceptorship with a lovely nurse who cared for me, now as my preceptor in the same psych ward I was once a patient in. Working alongside my psychiatrist. Laughing with the nurses. Most importantly caring for myself and ultimately others. You know what the best part was? Being able to empathize and giving hope to anyone that was in my attire when I was once in front of the nursing station opposed to behind it. Dirty, disheveled, smelly, hair cut by myself with no mirror and a pair of scissors, wearing a blue hospital gown with snowflakes on it. All of it spelling out DEFEATED in size 100 font, Times New Roman, capital letters, easily read. I could go on and on about the many delusions I had or things I even hallucinated during my psychosis. I could talk about my trails and tribulations that I went through that precipitated over time to cause hurricane mania. Although I would much rather prefer to say how I triumphed through it and hopefully help others who read this article. This is a list of “try” that may help you get through your mental illness and make life, life again.

Try to exercise everyday or perhaps at least have an active day. This I believe is one of the most effective tries but also the hardest at times, especially when you’re full of apathy. Growing up I liked to play many sports and I always pushed myself to get stronger or faster or win that judo tournament. Yet, when I was discharged after a rather intense bout of mania, I fell into a depression where lounging around was almost everything I did and the most exercise I got was with my fingers playing The Legend of Zelda. But let me remind you, this isn’t going to be easy, you will be stronger than ever if you succeed, but you have to TRY. I did receive my black belt in judo before I was diagnosed however you don’t have to have a background in fitness to reap its benefits today. Thinking more clearly, being more mindful, and having a better self body image, these are just a few of the benefits. However I know getting self motivated to do something active when your in a state of depression can feel impossible. So take baby steps, try taking the stairs, take the dog for a walk, buy a skipping rope and use it, dance in your kitchen to some of your favourite music (I recommend some uplifting Disney) then work your way up to something a little more sweat worthy. “All ya gotta do is JUMP!” Said Aladdin. Jump into it, join an active group that interests you and immerse your self in it. Go for it, try it! Maybe just a walking group, or even a running club, how about kick boxing? Tennis? Do what interests you actively and try it! Nothing interests you? Well you’ll find something but ya gotta try it first and give it a chance. By using energy you create energy.

Take your medication every dose prescribed, then try to reduce it with your psychiatrists permission after a long period of stability. This is a very touchy subject for a lot of people, I will tell you this though. I attribute a large portion of my success to my medications. I have tried more mental health medications including benzodiazepines, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, and sleep aids than I can count with both my hands. I am currently on a mood stabilizer and antipsychotic but I am on a substantially lower dose than what I used to take. I only started reducing my dose after five years because I felt as though I was ready. There were times I did have to increase my dose due to stressful circumstances and ineffective coping. But now I can say I feel stable but with less of the unwanted side effects too! It’s important to take your medications because you don’t want to end up back in the psych ward again. Stopping abruptly is something I do not recommend and I learned the hard way. Try to give the medications a chance. It’s not gonna feel good if you were in a state of mania and suddenly you’re not feeling as special as you once did. But you will again and others will see it too. You can’t accomplish much if you’re unstable because it’s too easy to loose your balance and fall. Take the medication and understand why you’re taking it. These medications are not something to play around with but there is a reason they were prescribed and they can help you.

Try to find a creative outlet. Music has always been very welcoming to me. I enjoy playing guitar, singing, and writing my own music most. I also enjoy painting, colouring, creative writing, and really just creating by expression. It’s a belief of mine that people with mental “illness” sometimes feel more, so take it to your advantage and express it with your beautiful self. Remember to try! Maybe join a art class or take music lessons, a choir? Why not listen to some music and just colour? It’s better than ruminating and staring at the wall in bed. Art, I have said, is the closest thing we have to magic and maybe in a psychotic state your delusions told you, your a wizard. Now that you're stable again you may not have that magic to cast but art can make you feel even better! Getting those feelings out if you’re not ready to talk about them yet can be done through art! When you’re ready maybe you can explain the metaphorical meaning behind your work or just keep it to yourself but display it with pride.

This leads me to my next point which is to try to talk to someone and tell them how you’re feeling. This could be a psychotherapist, a loved one, or even just a friend. I am lucky to say I have each one. You don’t always have to talk about heartache, but just try to communicate. Be brave and be assertive with other’s feelings in mind if someone is causing you to feel less than. Say the truth about yourself and grow by learning about perspectives and that maybe you were wrong. Try some self talk and don’t be so hard on yourself. We are human and we make mistakes but that doesn’t mean you’re anything other than your perfect self. It takes a lot of practice to listen and be vocal but you can and you will as long as you try to be more open minded and just let’s the words flow out.

Try to meditate at least once a day. I can’t say I’m there yet but I know the effects being mindful can have. When you’re focused on the now you’re more than halfway there in my opinion. I have taken cognitive behavioural therapy and learned a lot from it. One of the main things I did take away from it was mindfulness. Taking five minutes a day to lay in bed or sit in a chair focusing on your breathing by bringing your mind back to that as it wonders can make a great difference. But here’s your “advance to go, collect $200,” try yoga. Buy a yoga mat or even just use a towel. YouTube is a friend of mine and so is Bryan Jones’ power yoga video. You may want to try something a little bit easier like I did when I started out but there are so many yoga videos to choose from so try it out you can thank yourself later you did. Remember that you can be mindful in any situation. Focus on your surroundings and how all five senses interpret it. If you have a thought that brings anxiety with it tackle it without judgement. There’s always tomorrow if you feel as though you have been stuck for too long today. Perhaps in a new light the shadow won’t seem so scary.

Try to eat and drink healthy. Every morning I wake up, I drink two cups of water. When you’re on medications like lithium it’s important to stay hydrated plus those anticholinergic dry mouth side effects don’t help either. But drinking water and staying hydrated has always had a big impact on not only my physical health but my mental health. Sometimes it turns out you were just thirsty. But adding to drinking I also wake up and drink a smoothie almost everyday. Sometimes you may not be in the mood for breakfast but if you’re drained by noon a healthy smoothie when you wake may be the answer to prevent this. I use a blender where the body is also the cup, this is a lot quicker so you have no excuse about time. I’m sure you can try to wake five minutes sooner to make a smoothie that will give you the productivity to save ten fold the time. I fill up the cup with kale or spinach (I try to use organic), a frozen fruit of my choice, banana, a table spoon of flax seed (omega 3 is good for your heart and what’s good for your heart is good for your brain) then I’ll add some unsweetened almond milk, water, and a protein powder (I usually only use half the recommended dose, my choice right now is kaizen naturals whey protein cinnamon bun). Try it, I dare you! But be creative and mix it up your own way. I'm only gonna talk about eating healthy for breakfast because as you’ve probably heard that’s the most important meal of the day. But mainly eat lots of fruits and vegetables, limit red meats and deep fried foods, and try to eat whole foods.

Try to be organized. I was in the reserves Canadian armed forces as a trained medic for two years before I was diagnosed. Discipline taught me to be organized and how much of a difference it makes. Unfortunately this is my biggest issue I struggle with today and I’m still working on it. Some days I feel like I’m all over the place when Im rushing to find my car keys, or misplacing something for a month till I find it again. Not just your environment try to organize your schedule. Make a daily routine of your morning. How about a ritual done once a day that you try to fit in like perhaps doing exercise, eating healthy, or doing something creative. This has helped me grow. As you continue this ritual you will become more productive from it and you’ll get back what you give I promise you.

Trying has helped me excelle in life. Whether it be trying something new or trying my hardest. It is the next word I am going to leave you with that will make that “try” more accepting. That word is believe. Believe in yourself, believe in life, believe in your dream, believe that happiness is attainable and believe in your try’s. Try and believe.