Ahimsa: The principle of nonviolence toward all living things.
“When nonviolence in speech, thought, and action is established, one’s aggressive nature is relinquished and others abandon hostility in one’s presence.” - Yoga Sutras
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My second year of college, I was in a romantic relationship with someone who had a troubled past and carried a lot of trauma, which I sympathized with. Because of the baggage we each carried, the relationship was very unhealthy—physically and emotionally abusive, both ways. My eyes had been opened to “the way people are” and “how the world works,” which, at the time, was cynical and dark.
I felt like no one could truly understand how I was feeling and what I was going through because they hadn’t experienced what I had been through.
I developed chronic anxiety and clinical depression, which carried on years after that relationship had ended. I had grown to generally distrust people, seeing the dark side of everyone. Everything other people said or did, even if they were coming from a place of good will, was met with suspicion from me. I felt like no one could truly understand how I was feeling and what I was going through because they hadn’t experienced what I had been through.
I was impatient, easily irritated, short tempered, just generally angry and frustrated all the time. I became violent in my thoughts and, in turn, my actions and words. I would cry, yell, steal, throw things. It got to a point where I became physically and emotionally abusive in my my next romantic relationship… It was as if I were doing all of this, hurting others, so that others would understand how hurt I was.
Because I felt hurt myself, I ended up pushing a lot of people away and hurting the people who mean the most to me.
One day, my parents were so concerned that they drove 400 miles from San Francisco to Los Angeles in order to take me to the hospital. My best friend from high school abandoned me because I was so destructive and not receptive of her help. Because I felt hurt myself, I ended up pushing a lot of people away and hurting the people who mean the most to me. Because I felt alone in my thoughts and feelings, I ended up becoming even more lonely.
...that awareness of myself- how my thoughts, feelings, and behavior were affecting those around me... motivated me to get better and heal myself from the trauma I had experienced.
Looking back, it’s easy to see this cycle of trauma causing loneliness causing hurting others causing even more trauma causing even more loneliness. I’m grateful my friends and ex-boyfriend were able to step away from my destructiveness because I wouldn’t have become aware of this cycle... and it’s that awareness of myself—how my thoughts, feelings, and behavior were affecting those around me, that truly motivated me to get better and heal myself from the trauma I had experienced.
My yoga practice helped me release any thoughts that would trigger negative feelings of the past. Taking that action of doing something I love, for myself, was a form of self-love that I was truly lacking. It doesn’t have to be yoga, but when we do things out of self-love (eating dessert, working out, reading, writing, getting our nails done, etc.) we start to feel and receive love more effortlessly.
Once we stop hurting ourselves, we stop hurting others. Once we stop hurting others, others stop hurting us. Those years of depression, I was waiting for someone to shed a light on my dark, cynical view of the world. I wanted someone or something to prove me wrong, but I didn’t realize that I was fully capable of shedding my own light and even spreading that light onto others.
Law of Attraction: Be what you want to attract.
Hidden Costs and Lasting Shame of Financial Abuse
I’ve always been responsible with my money. I have a job that pays decently, although (like many in our inflated economy) I should definitely be making more for what I do. I regularly check my credit score. I don’t eat out much, nor do I spend frivolously on non-essentials.
By Veronica Wren24 days ago in Psyche
The secret journey to regaining emotional stability
Do you feel that the anxious and avoidant types both seem to be strong and independent, but in fact they are sensitive and fragile. They often fall into emotions because of small things and start to be anxious and avoidant? If anxious and avoidant types want to change these, what they actually need is to compensate for their missing parts and heal their injured parts. In this issue, we will teach the avoidant and anxious types how to cultivate themselves again, making their emotions more stable, more rational in relationships, and at the same time gaining the ability to actively output emotional value. If anxious and avoidant types want to overcome the sensitive and fragile parts of themselves and obtain stable emotions, they need not only cognitive adjustments, but also need to heal the traumatized parts of themselves and compensate for the regretful parts of themselves. For example, the regret of the avoidant type is that they have not been paid serious attention to and have never truly rebelled. Therefore, the avoidant type will not fight for their own needs in many situations, resulting in uncomfortable situations and relationships, and they are always running away and wandering. The trauma of the anxious type is that they are trapped in unstable relationships and have been hurt by the instability in intimate relationships. The slightest fluctuation will make the anxious type feel nervous and anxious. Therefore, anxious and avoidant types are inherently fragile, sensitive, and unstable. In summary, these reasons are that something is missing during the growth stage, or they have suffered some trauma, so if you want to solve these problems, this is the time. Compensate when you need to compensate, heal when you need to heal, exercise when you need to exercise, just treat yourself as a child and raise yourself again. If the avoidant and anxious types re-train themselves, what kind of growth can they gain? First of all, emotions will become more and more stable. For example, you can be aware of your emotions at the first time, avoid emotions from affecting your thoughts and judgments, and learn to regulate your emotions. Secondly, you can truly understand yourself and know your real needs and fears. In the process of re-nurturing yourself, you can clearly understand your needs and fears, that is, you can know why you are attracted to a certain person, why you behave like this, and then you can better understand what you need.
By angelababya day ago in Psyche
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