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My Anxieties Have Anxiety

A Simple Guide to Living Scared

By Erica HalePublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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On any given day, I wake up with half a dozen thoughts, concerns, fears, or ideas running through my head. These thoughts can range from my to-do list for the day to the argument my husband and I had before bed. Some mornings, it is the vague flashes of images from the endless dreams I experienced during the night due to my brain working endlessly to process my emotions and triggers.

Regardless, my mind is never at rest. I cannot remember a time when I ever felt truly at peace. There are times, of course, I can remember being less stressed than normal but all it would take was a misspoken word, a look, or nothing at all except my overworked mind to cast me into a state of anxiety again.

I grew up with very few friends and, when I moved to another state in high school, I had even fewer. College was a time of growing and learning about who I was. I began to seek therapy while I was in college, as well as after, and finally learned that it wasn't "all in my head."

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Agoraphobia with Panic Disorder, depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In a nutshell, I suffered from anxious thoughts that stemmed from literally anything, a fear of being in large groups due to the panic attacks I suffered, depression, and flashbacks and anxiety from some traumatic events of my past.

The criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders 5 (DSM-5) for GAD are as follows:

1. The presence of excessive anxiety and worry about a variety of topics, events, or activities. Worry occurs more often than not for at least 6 months and is clearly excessive. Excessive worry means worrying even when there is nothing wrong or in a manner that is disproportionate to the actual risk. This typically involves spending a high percentage of waking hours worrying about something. The worry may be accompanied by reassurance-seeking from others.In adults, the worry can be about job responsibilities or performance, one’s own health or the health of family members, financial matters, and other everyday, typical life circumstances. Of note, in children, the worry is more likely to be about their abilities or the quality of their performance (for example, in school).2. The worry is experienced as very challenging to control. The worry in both adults and children may shift from one topic to another.3. The anxiety and worry are associated with at least three of the following physical or cognitive symptoms (In children, only one symptom is necessary for a diagnosis of GAD):
  • Edginess or restlessness
  • Tiring easily; more fatigued than usual
  • Impaired concentration or feeling as though the mind goes blank
  • Irritability (which may or may not be observable to others)
  • Increased muscle aches or soreness
  • Difficulty sleeping (due to trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, restlessness at night, or unsatisfying sleep)

Many individuals with GAD also experience symptoms such as sweating, nausea, or diarrhea.

The anxiety, worry, or associated symptoms make it hard to carry out day-to-day activities and responsibilities. They may cause problems in relationships, at work, or in other important areas.These symptoms are unrelated to any other medical conditions and cannot be explained by the effect of substances including a prescription medication, alcohol, or recreational drugs.These symptoms are not better explained by a different mental disorder.

If any of these symptoms resonate with you, please consider seeking professional counseling. There are a variety of treatment options available that can and will improve your mental health and quality of life.

Additionally, there are a variety of self-care techniques I have discovered that have helped me tremendously. Below, I will list five techniques I have discovered that really help me.

  1. Learn to say no. This one seems pretty self-explanatory, but I found great personal strength and empowerment in learning how to say no to others. Whether that meant letting a phone call or text go unanswered or declining an invitation to go out, I felt like I was in control of my decisions during a time when I felt out of control.
  2. Find a hobby or something you enjoy. Find something that makes you happy and gives you a sense of accomplishment. It can be as simple as reading one book a month or beginning an exercise routine. If you set a goal and stick with it, it will empower you and allow you to feel accomplished, strong and successful. If you have suffered trauma, chances are your power of choice was taken away and it is time for you to take it back.
  3. Learn some relaxation techniques. Youtube is a great resource for guided relaxation videos. ASMR and guided meditation videos help many people by having soothing music or sounds that allow you to "drift away" from whatever is making you nervous or anxious. Additionally, silent meditation or prayer or even taking a walk are good options. One technique I learned is to name five things, either to yourself or someone else, that you can see, smell, touch, or hear. This will help ground you and allow you to focus on something else.
  4. Learn what your triggers are. This is so important. Knowing what triggers your anxiety or panic attacks can help you to be prepared in the future. For example, if someone comes up behind me and scares me or grabs me, I will panic and either freeze up, scream, or react violently. Knowing this about myself has helped me to react appropriately and calmly explain to the other person that I do not like that and why.
  5. Seek professional help. There is no shame in seeking professional counseling. It is so difficult, I understand. However, having a neutral third party listen to me was so helpful and allowed me to feel and think freely, so I could work through the issues I was having.

Anxiety, depression and PTSD do not have to be a prison sentence. You are important. You are worth it. You are powerful. You matter. You are more than the sum of the traumas you have endured. Every day is another step, another choice, and another opportunity to move forward. You deserve to be happy.

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About the Creator

Erica Hale

I am 30, live in small town, USA, and am married. Living life one day at a time.

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