My Return to Cosplay

I'm here to give everyone an update of what's been going on with me. One of the first articles I'd written on Vocal was my battle with depression and anxiety. Back in May was Mental Health Awareness Month and I was sharing my story of the traumatic events, past and present, I've experienced that led me to have a mental breakdown. After that occurred, I became homeless and felt worthless. It felt like my life was over at that point and like I had no future. So with that said, I'm writing this article to give everyone an update of how things are currently going with me.

Things are getting a little bit better and I'm optimistic that everything else will work out in my favor. I have numerous people helping me get back on my feet. Two of my cosplay friends came by to see me recently and that put a smile on my face. They were truly concerned about me and said to me that I could come to them if I ever needed anything, whether it was a place to stay for the night, food, or whatever it may be. I've always had the feeling that any time that I was going through a rough patch, everyone wasn't there for me and disappeared. I should never assume that people don't care about me because there's lots of them online and in my area that do.

I was on hiatus from cosplay since March to deal with my depression and anxiety. Honestly, the break from my favorite hobby really helped me in many ways. One of those ways was seeing a therapist every other week and it was a sigh of relief that I finally sought help. I've never denied that something wasn't right about me. Me telling my story about my mental illness to everyone really showed me that I wasn't alone. I've been open about my problems on Facebook and Instagram for the last several months. Reading other people's stories online about their struggles with mental illness really helped me open my eyes and get myself together.

I'm here to tell everyone that I feel a little bit better to return to cosplay and currently planning for GlitchCon, which starts in three weeks. I'll be hanging out with my friends, so I'm excited about that. Putting my mental health first was the best decision that I made at the time of my hiatus. My biggest regret was not seeking help sooner. Had I not done that, things would've been a lot worse. It was great to see so many positive comments and well wishes on my social media pages. I may not have any family, but the people online, especially the cosplay community, are my family. Being surrounded by people who love me is all I ever wanted. As a kid, I was severely bullied by not only other children at school, but my own parents. They would belittle and talk down to me for no reason. My mental health issues didn't start months ago. Actually, they started after I graduated from high school. I felt isolated and pressured by my parents to figure out what I wanted to do in life. At the time, I wasn't sure and soon felt overwhelmed. Living on my own for a few years went well, but being let go from an office job of almost five years and quitting my call center job due to stress took a physical toll on my body. Now I'm taking it easy on myself by applying for part time jobs, enjoying the hobbies that I enjoy the most, spending more time with the people I love, and spending more time with myself.

This is why I tell people: there's no such thing as a perfect life or perfect anything. We all go through hardships, but we must find ways to overcome tough obstacles in life. I'm probably the few cosplayers that has been candid about my struggles with mental illness. I share my story with everyone and am not ashamed or guilty about doing it. It could save the lives of so many people. If you're feeling down and depressed, don't be afraid to ask for help. I know it hard to ask for help; I'm that way sometimes. However, if we want something, we must ask for help. Remember that you don't have to be alone in this battle. Be courageous and have positive people around you. There's nothing selfish about putting yourself first when it comes to addressing your mental well-being. You are somebody; always remember that any time you're going through something. So, I'll leave everyone with some pics of my friends because I need to reminded that I have friends that will always be there for me.

My Cosplay Family