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My Room Doesn't Have More Elephants than Yours

What scares you? How do you face your fears? How long do they last for?

By Fernanda Grether ZdanowskyPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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They tell you not to look down but how else should you assess where you're standing? (By: Fernanda Grether Zdanowsky @ Sunsphere, Knoxville, TN)

An elephant trying to cross a tightrope on a unicycle. Not sure if it was safe, no certainty whatsoever if he could, should, would make it to the other side. The elephant knew, though, once on the tightrope, there was no turning back. He convinced himself it was worth it but his legs did not seem to respond. He did not understand it. They were working a minute before.

All those people down there on the audience, where it is safe, were staring at him so he knew standing still was not an option. Not that he cared about those humans waiting to see an elephant doing something extraordinary but they paid for it. He could see they called his bluff and now he felt like he was pushed into a corner. The rope was bouncy. Was the safety net really safe? All that weight was an amount of baggage he did not know how he accumulated. It did not matter, it was there, encrusted in the deepest layers of his being and it was all his. Being an elephant is like this. You have a lot on your back, he thought.

Enough thinking.

It was time for him to act. People could cheer for him and tell him to go but it was his feet on those tiny pedals, his head to be smashed against the floor would his attempt fail. All those things crossed his mind in a matter of seconds, but long enough to make all humans start booing and calling him a coward. Well, the reverse psychology worked. It always did with him even he knowing how childish and silly it could be. "Dare" was his middle name. So he went for it.

He started pedaling just to realize how high that tightrope had been set. He froze. Completely frozen was him. Not even a single drop of sweat would run through his face though he was trembling inside. His vision got blurry and he could now only see that safety net calling his name. All those fibers mingled and he started to fall. He felt literal and also deep in his thoughts. There, he found peace and comfort. That free fall made him feel so light. There was no tension, no pressure anymore.

It was then he realized he was free from his own judgment, he could just enjoy what he had there and that, at the end of the day, his goal was never to get to the other side. It was all about the dare, the facing his fear to really find himself the aspect of the whole experience. He had been uneasy and dissatisfied with himself for so long, he had put so much pressure on himself and he stuffed so many things inside it would eventually climax into an explosion.

Drawers are not built to store everything we own. There are so many things you can put in them before the lock can't hold it anymore or the entire thing crumbles and falls apart. And, in the elephant's case, the falling was literal.

He actually laughed and tried to do some acrobatic movements in the air before crashing that net so hard he bounced back to the air and with the tip of his nose.

Would he dare to ever try that again? Not only he can tell you. He knows where he's been, he knows where he's expected to be. What he does not know is if he wants to go down that path and, even if he decides to take another risk, how should he approach it?

The elephant realized he had no answers. He also noticed so many other elephants trying to cross bridges, streets, tightropes, climb mountains. He is surrounded by elephants.

He thought he was the elephant in the room because he was just looking down and forward. Now that he had a split second to catch his breath, he finally looked around and realized how many elephants are out there.

anxiety
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About the Creator

Fernanda Grether Zdanowsky

Just me.

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