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My Sadie

Life Saver

By Sue RyersonPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Meet Sadie. She is my constant companion, my 'go to girl', and my life saver. I'm Sue, Sadie's mom, and I have bipolar disorder. When I say she is my life saver, I am not referring to her rescuing me from rushing waters or pulling me out of an inferno. She saves me from falling into the depths of despair that comes with my illness. Look at those eyes. There is nothing but love there. No judgement, no awful stigma. Nothing but pure, unfiltered love.

Humans feel a need to understand everything, but some things about my illness are beyond understanding unless they are experienced. More times than I can count I have said to someone, "I wish you could live inside my head for just a day or two. That is the only way you will understand how difficult this life can be." They would also see how beautiful my mind can be. How much creativity there is in my mind. They would see how, without filters, I love harder and more deeply. They would see that I never give up on anyone because I know how that feels. They would see the person and not the illness. They would see me.

Sadie doesn't mind when I have an outburst or say something inappropriate in a conversation. Sadie doesn't mind when I need to go inside myself to heal after a traumatic day or event. She knows I will be back and I will be alright again. Sadie joins me in celebration, usually dancing in the living room, when I have a very good day. It doesn't matter why I am dancing, she is happy because I am happy. She accepts me and has unwavering faith in me.

Living with a mental illness is not for sissies. It takes tremendous strength and resolve. So often we are seen as weak and frail when nothing could be further from the truth.We fall down a lot, but we get back up. It just takes us a little longer sometimes. Be patient and most of all, just be there. Accept more and question less. Please don't ask me to "try harder." You can't imagine how hard I try each and every day. Life does not come easily to me, but it is never for lack of trying. Would you tell a blind man to "try harder" to see? No, never, because you accept that he is blind and therefore cannot see. Accept me, too.

I know you cannot see what I have. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist.I know most of the time, I am just fine and functional but it doesn't mean I'm not sick. I am never not sick. This is why I, and others like me, fight so hard against stigma.

The next time you are tempted to say something harsh and/or negative about someone who is mentally ill, please also think of the incredible artwork of Michelangelo, or the beautiful music of Beethoven, or the statesmanship and leadership of Winston Churchill. They all lived with mental illness. So have numerous, authors, actors, musicians, and scientists. We bring much to the world with our troubled but beautiful minds.

And then, I have Sadie. She doesn't care that I am not a celebrated artist or musician, or scientist. She just accepts me as I am. I never need to explain myself. My illness is based very much on emotion and that is just fine with Sadie. That is why there is Sadie. No words are needed.

For every person who lives with a mental illness, I tell you: get a dog. If not a dog, then a cat or visit a horse farm. Horses are even more sensitive than a cat or a dog, but a little harder to get your landlord to agree to. Connect with a furry friend. Find your Sadie.

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