I want to impart my journey and experience in battling depression and anxiety as a young person so that I may hopefully make the process that much easier for others.
The quote below the picture was said by my former doctor when I tried to talk to her about meditation, hypnotherapy, and other modalities I was dabbling in to help alleviate my symptoms.
She basically made it clear that, in her mind, medication was an absolute necessity when dealing with things like anxiety and depression. I remember this moment distinctly because it was an instance where I bought into this medical model even though my heart was giving me a more positive direction towards healing and recovery.
I put myself at the mercy of the medical system for a few more years before I realized once and for all that it was simply not working for me. The initial success I had experienced with self-healing, dietary and lifestyle improvements, as well as working with good talk therapists, became the sole focus of my recovery.
What I realize now is that I had been yearning for a silver bullet. I wanted so badly to find that one magic pill that would cure my depression and anxiety and confirm that the whole problem was merely a chemical imbalance in my brain. I was looking for a way to abdicate my own responsibility on my healing journey. My search for an external savior ultimately lead right back to my own heart.
What I realize now is that my symptoms were part of a holistic malady that was existential in nature. I didn't know who I was, and allowed myself to be lead around by well meaning but not-so-helpful professionals.
I was a day away from trying electroconvulsive therapy as well but was warned against it by people I trusted, as well as my own intuition. I knew that for my own journey I would need to leave the medical model behind and delve deeply into myself, assisted by various helpers along the way.
The cornerstone of my message of recovery is that the only way to heal depression is to feel depression. This is one of the simplest and least popular messages out there, at least initially. As one commits to truly feeling through painful experiences, a profound light begins to emerge.
The entire medical model is based on the idea that you don't have to feel what you're feeling. It's bad to feel bad, so take this pill to feel better.
If only life worked that way.
The truth is, there are deeper reasons as to why people suffer from so-called mental health or mood disorders. I relied upon the opinions of experts to the extent that I lost sight of my own intuition and innate process. I then found other experts that helped point me back to myself.
The basic message that I try to deliver to both friends and clients is that there is a way through depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.
In fact, the only way is to literally go through these things as though we are navigating a dark forest that we are terrified to truly traverse.
Thankfully, we can learn to cultivate the light within to guide us through even the darkest nights of the soul.
Medication and the biochemical model were for me a very slippery stepping stone that gave me lots of valuable insight, but ultimately revealed that there is much more to healing than we have been told.
When I speak with clients I often allude to a more spiritual aspect of ourselves and the world which has largely been overlooked in the reductionist models of scientific materialism.
We are at a turning point now where authentic spirituality is exploding into the mainstream paradigm. While for some this may be a fad or hobby, for those like myself who have been in the death throes of despair, it is truly a lifeline back into sanity and personal sovereignty.
I wish everyone profound blessings on their healing journey. Feel free to contact me anytime if you need to talk to someone who has truly been there. www.seedsoflove.ca