Not Her Fault

*Trigger Warning*

She didn’t usually do this sort of thing, but maybe it’s time for a change. Her boyfriend didn’t know she was out but he was in England, so who really cared? Music quietly blared out of her car speakers while she stared at the house holding three delinquent boys. The time read 1 AM, a bit late for her since bedtime was usually 10. She smacked her tongue on the roof of her mouth as she surveyed the dryness of it. The absence of saliva was where her anxiety started to lie. Instead of the impending situation. Where are they? A knock at the curved window startled her and she realized how hard her hands were gripping the steering wheel. The boy outside smiled and opened up the car. All doors started to open as three teen boys piled into her vehicle. As soon as Jacob stepped into the passenger seat his hand was on her thigh. She tensed and stared at his hand. She had invited this boy into her car, not into her body. But the anxiety had taken her voice, she had no way of responding that would remotely help the situation. He smiled back at her terrified face and spoke in a gentle soothing tone.

“Hey Cara, wassup baby girl.” 

Still frozen, she stared at his hand. Like a trance she couldn’t get out of while stone cold sober. After a beat, she snapped out of it. Quickly adjusting her leg so his hand fell off, she put her seatbelt on, drew on a smile, and turned to the boys in the back seat.

“Alright boys, where to so I can smoke this kush.” the boys in the back, Aaron and Ron, gave simple directions to a secluded part of the neighborhood. While they drove, music blasted and Jacob’s hand slowly crept back onto her thigh. Beads of sweat started to accumulate on Cara’s wrist, she saw what he wanted and she wasn’t sure if escape was possible.

Aaron shouted to halt and Cara set the car in park, sweet relief was upon her. She snatched the bowl and pill bottle of weed, jerking her thigh ever so slightly so that Jacob’s hand, once again, fell away. Packing the bowl was a skill, she admired herself the maximum packing ability she possessed. Green puffs stuck out of the scraped metal bowl and she gently lit a spark. That first inhale and she was alone. Alone in her car without worries or distractions. Or a hand on her thigh once again. That spine tingling touch brought her back and she immediately started coughing and sputtering. Ron and Aaron laughed, but Jacob just stared; he looked hungry in his sober eyes. His hand kept moving and Cara silently begged the worms in her legs not to dance. She offered up the bowl and lighter and he shook his hand, his eyes never wavering. Cara ached for the usual relief brought upon by the sweet green leaves but this time it was only anxiety. The worms started to dance and Cara shuddered at Jacob’s touch.

“Yo Jacob,” a voice called from the back, Jacob’s attention flipped back towards the boy.

“What?” Jacob said, with a small grimace that seemed to shake the boy. They shortly conversed about how to put the seats down in Cara’s back seat. Cara didn’t notice, in fact she couldn’t see anything. Except the bright street light directly above her car. She stared through the open sunroof, something was different about this light. It was flaring out, like little sequins when the sunlight passes over. Dancing in a small quartet and blessing her like a heavenly angel. Funny, the weed never did this to her before. She lifted a hand up towards the angels dancing before her, she could feel everything. More than ever before, more than anything weed ever brought. Maybe this wasn’t just weed though, maybe it was something else. A Hallucinogen? LSD mixed in to this strain? It seemed quite plausible. A squeeze on her thigh brought the terrible reality back.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jacob said, a hidden smile layered underneath the worrisome facade.

Cara grit her teeth, “Perfectly fine.”

She glanced to the back and saw one of the boys hitting her small bowl, the other one was laughing at some meme. She slithered into the back of the car and felt a hand glide across her backside as she did this. She felt gross, like the worms were really there now. Sliding across her body and leaving dirt and sludge in their path. She gagged, carefully hiding the sudden nausea from the boys she was entertaining. Why was she allowing this boy to objectify her? Jacob followed and that was when Cara started to realize the trouble she was in. He slid his hand all around her body now. Forcing her hand to his bulge and trying to kiss her. She pulled back, she wouldn’t allow it. She whispered no, then louder, and louder. Louder every time he tried to force his clothed body onto her again. Until he finally snapped.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” he shouted. The two other boys, who sat right next to them on their phones, didn’t even glance. It was as if this was normal. Cara was shaking now, terror running through. Why did she ever think it was possible to enjoy some company without having her body touched?

“I think you should go…” she said, rummaging up a little courage.

Jacob sat there and started to open his phone. Cara tried to move to the front seat but was interrupted by a slap on her behind. Did he think she enjoyed this? Apparently her obvious fear wouldn’t stop him. She drove them home and the two watchers left, but Jacob stayed. He coaxed her into the backseat, promising just to talk. She was too scared to do anything but listen. But he lied, and she couldn’t control what happened. She was saying ‘no’, she was crying.

“He’s in another country, what the fuck is the problem. Come on it’s no big deal.”

“No, stop, stop, I don’t want to!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.” 

He kept repeating this. And eventually she went limp, not knowing how else to get out of her situation. Her mind and body too high to figure anything out. Her legs shook as her head was smashed against the trunk of her car, his body against hers was enough to cause a gag reflex. If she’s quiet maybe he’ll stop hurting her. She cried some more, quieter than ever, remembering her boyfriend in England. What would he think of her? She was disgusted with herself, for believing this boy wanted anything but sex. She was naive. Thankfully, it didn’t last long, apparently he got off even more from the power he had over a girl too high to defend herself. He got out and left her there. She was left to pull up her pants and her dignity. Tears still softly rolled down her face. Lights still danced all around her. She drove a half hour to get home. Thinking this was all her fault.

Now Reading
Not Her Fault
Read Next
It Can Get Better...