Not Seeing Depression

Throughout my life I knew that people in this world are depressed, but I never thought I knew someone who had depression till I got the call saying that my best friend was in the hospital for trying to kill herself.

I ran to the hospital to see my best friend Jordan. When I reached her room her mom, Jan, was standing outside talking with the doctor. As soon as she saw me she turned to look at me. Her eyes were red from crying and you can tell that she found Jordan early in the morning because Jan had not changed out of her pajamas yet. They were a plain, gray t-shirt and pants with her pink Victoria Secret slippers. Jan hugs me as soon as I reach her. She was warm. She lets me go and looks at me with sorry eyes. Then Jan showed me inside to where Jordan was.

Jordan looked a lot different than when I saw her just 24 hours ago at school. She looks like she wasn't trying anymore. He hair was a mess, she had no makeup on, and she looked pale. The only thing I recognized on her was the half heart pendent necklace with the word "Friend" on it. As I saw it, I reached up and felt the other half of that heart pendent necklace on my neck that said "Best." I got these for her birthday last year when she turned 15.

I walked up to her and took her hand. As I did I noticed that her wrists were wrapped in gauze. Jordan's eyes slowed opened and looked over at me. When she met my glance, Jordan gave me a small smile. A smile that I would see from her when a teacher makes a funny joke. The kind of smile that you want to smile but just do not have the energy for it. I gave her a big smile and gripped her hand tighter. Jordan tried to sit up, but I told her no and got the bed controller and let her move the bed so she was sitting upward as I sat on the bed next to her.

For about five minutes we talked about guys and who was going after the "tramp of the school" this week. Than I finally asked "What happened?" Jordan's smile went away and and she turned her head to look out the window at the tree that was out there. It was a very gloomy day out today. The sky was covered in dark gray clouds, like it was going to rain. I take Jordan's hand into mine and hold it tight. Jordan looks back at me and I see that she is tearing up. Then she proceeded to tell me what had happened.

Jordan spent the next 30 minutes telling me about why she came to the need to leave this world. Telling me about the hurt she was feeling, the loneliness, and the unwanted feelings. Throughout all of this all I could think was how much I wanted to make her feel better and if I saw any signs of this. At the end of it all I looked at her and said, "Why didn't you tell me?" Jordan looked at me and said. "I thought you would think I was overreacting."

That day I could have lost my best friend. I thanked God everyday that I didn't lose her. I never saw the signs of her being depressed because they are hard to see sometimes. But one thing that truly got to me was that she thought I would think she was overreacting. And maybe I would have at the time she told me, or I would have blown it off. But now that I have seen this and been through this I can see that no matter what someone is feeling, always take it seriously.

If you have someone who comes to you and says that are feeling depressed or unhappy or wanting to end their lives, take it seriously because everyone is different. Some people can handle more than others. So if someone comes to you, help them. Listen to them and once you have talked through it all together, get someone else involved. Do not let them just deal with it alone. Tell them that they are not alone and that you can help them and so with the professional that you take them to. Do not let them do this alone.

I thank everyday I still have my best friend. I never want to lose anyone to suicide and I can guess you do not either. If you are fighting depression, talk to someone, never think that you are bothering them. If you truly need help, ask someone. No matter what, you are not alone.