Please Stop Saying Everyone Is a Little ADD

As I was sitting on the bus coming back from the gym yesterday, I overheard a conversation about this topic. How people think they have anxiety and other mental health issues because they had a bad day and feel stressed while at the same time, when asked whether or not they have been diagnosed. When people do that, it truthfully does absolutely nothing other than make you look uneducated regarding a serious medical condition. How many times have you heard people say things such as 'everyone is a little ADHD' or 'I know what it’s like to have anxiety' and 'I had a really stressful week' and so on. Statements such as these and other statements that are along the same lines, do absolutely nothing, other than take away from the seriousness of the various things someone diagnosed with a mental health issue goes through on a daily basis.

Instead of going over the medical proof, I've decided to look at it from a different perspective. The perspective of the people who are actually diagnosed with a valid medical condition, which affects their mental health. I think that’s the best way to show my point!

I have a Psychology degree and ADHD. I have bad ADHD days and good days. Granted, due to my educational background, I have really good coping strategies, but not always. For me, having ADHD isn’t just a lack of focus, or getting distracted easily. I hear every single little thing, to the point where when people speak, it’s almost impossible sometimes to filter out specific things. Due to my brain not being able to filter out certain things, everything I hear, see, or smell is trying to be absorbed at once through my brain and senses which makes my anxiety go through the roof because of how frustrating it is; not only for myself, but also how annoying it is for others. Due to this, it makes me look like either I could care less about what the person is trying to say, or it makes me look uneducated. Even though I’m far from being uneducated, people usually see my ADHD before my degree. Even when they know what my level of education is. Also, I need a specific amount of alone time, because my brain gets overstimulated and needs a rest period. Otherwise, I just get completely exhausted to the point I can’t function on the level I should.

Even with medication, I still have to deal with these things on a regular basis. Which is why it can be difficult to convey this to others, because people usually do not want to understand something especially if it takes time to understand it.

Anxiety: “Anxiety keeps me awake at night; it keeps me as a prisoner in my home. Anxiety makes me feel like a failure; it has taken away my self-worth. Anxiety makes me feel uncomfortable and nervous. Anxiety has taken away friends, family, opportunities, my life.”

“Anxiety is like having new tabs opening very quickly [on your computer] one after another and not being able to close them or stop new ones from opening — but in your head. It happens while working, taking care of kids, driving, answering questions, and a million other things that people do in a day.”

Clinical Depression: “Some friends don’t understand this. They don’t understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you’re wonderful just the way you are. They don’t understand that I can’t remember anyone ever saying that to me. I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. Depression is all about if you loved me, you would.” – Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

“Depression to me is like having your mind replaced by another one that makes me feel worthless and numb to life—even to my own husband and son. It deprives me of feeling anything other than a sense of perpetual sadness, never quite knowing the source of it but knowing that feeling well. Depression has stolen my confidence and now I no longer feel I am worthy of anyone’s love. Depression calls me names and makes me have awful thoughts, and there have been times when depression has won and I’ve taken an overdose”

Attention Deficit: “For me, anyway, having ADHD is like walking one step in front of a rain cloud, two steps in front of a thunderstorm [and], three steps in front of a tornado. Forgetting things, making careless errors, being confused. … these things can create havoc! The important thing I’ve learned is to accept errors as quickly as I can, remedy the situation, issue an apology as needed…. and keep moving forward. After all, the sky is clear and the sun is shining up ahead!”

“Having ADHD is a lot more complicated than a poor attention span, it’s more like your attention span is so great that you hear and see everything around you. To the point of focusing on the small things is next to impossible.”

Stigma and Medication: “One of the things that baffles me (and there are quite a few) is how there can be so much lingering stigma with regards to mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. In my opinion, living with manic depression takes a tremendous amount of balls. Not unlike a tour of Afghanistan (though the bombs and bullets, in this case, come from the inside). At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of. They should issue medals along with the steady stream of medication.” Carrie Fisher

Medication: “Without medication I would not be able to function in this world. Medication has made me a good mother, a good friend, a good daughter.” — Carrie Fisher

“When I first took ADHD medications, it was just like the first time I got glasses…the world came into focus. I just wish I could have had them forty years ago. My life would be very different.”

In conclusion: When people say things such as everyone is a little ADHD and other things that are similar, what they are doing is taking away how serious mental health issues are while the people who suffer day in and day out feel less and less important. Not only that, but when someone diagnosed with a mental health issue has a problem, it makes them feel as if they are going to be mocked.

When someone has a valid medical condition, as a society, we should not be doing things that make people feel small or unimportant. People honestly should not be made to feel alone when dealing with issues, they also should not be made to feel like they are weak for having to do things a certain way.

Some coping strategies for dealing with these types of people are:

• Develop boundaries.
• Try understanding that they honestly are not educated enough to understand your medical condition, which isn’t your fault.
• Focus on you and develop self-care exercises.
• Know when to walk away from a conversation or from a relationship, because if they do not respect you and your mental health treatment interventions, that’s there shortcoming, not yours.
• Educating yourself about your health needs and how they interact with the world around you, and within yourself.

Basically when it comes to dealing with ignorance of any kind, when someone isn’t willing to listen or do anything outside of their own viewpoints, that person is the weaker person, not you, because you are actually strong for getting the proper tools and coping mechanisms in order to effectively deal with your medical condition.

I feel, instead of comparing themselves to others, instead should actually make an attempt to understand them.