Postpartum Blues
To Speak or Not to Speak
Lethargic, lack of motivation, the relentless pessimistic attitude that pushes your loved ones away, these are a few of many different symptoms that one would experience with depression. But what if this all happened after welcoming a new bundle of joy into the world that is supposed to bring nothing but bliss and excitement? Whether they are embarrassed or completely unaware that they have it, very few women talk about post-partum depression. However, what if you knew you weren't alone, and that often times these feelings are completely normal and experienced by mothers across the world?
After having my first child, I had no idea what to expect when it came to bouncing back to my normal self. I honestly thought I'd have to do some sit-ups, maybe go on a few walks, and mother a newborn, no big deal. Boy, was I wrong. Not only was I a first-time mom, but I wasn't aware of the postpartum hormonal changes that would come my way.
I have always been someone that never showed much emotion, I always put up a front to come off strong and unbreakable until I had my son. I knew something was odd when I would start crying at the mere sight of a baby on any given day. A rush of emotions would work their way up to my face and I would just bawl my eyes out and have a good, ugly cry. This lasted a good several weeks until I finally started feeling myself again. Little did I know, the real depression didn't make an appearance until months down the road.
My son had made many milestones, he started on solids and was crawling everywhere at this point. We celebrated his first Christmas and New Year, even went on vacation, everything that should make for a happy mama. All of these great things were happening in my life, yet I felt so lost and worthless. I had every reason in the world to be happy, but I couldn't shake my feelings of inadequacy. I had no motivation, was in a constant state of anxiety and would find myself snapping at my husband for no apparent reason. I knew something was wrong and I knew if I didn't push myself to make a change I'd end up missing out on making beautiful memories with my family because of this dark cloud hanging over me.
It hit me like a ton of bricks, literally and figuratively, my menstrual cycle. I knew I was battling with some sort of hormonal imbalance, and I didn't figure it out until I realized that I had yet to have a period since my son was born. It had been eight months since giving birth, and I guess I just thought my period wouldn't come back until I was completely done breastfeeding, or maybe that was just wishful thinking. But low and behold, my period had arrived and all my worries and me questioning my sanity dissipated.
This isn't the case for every mama out there. I honestly should have seen a doctor when I first started experiencing these symptoms because it could've been much worse than just a hormonal imbalance on account of Aunt Flow. I am lucky enough to say that I feel 100 percent back to normal now, as normal as any first-time mom with a boy toddler may feel. For mamas out there, it is normal to feel lackluster even months down the road after giving birth, but never hesitate to speak up. Chances are, your doctor, nurse or midwife had the same feelings that are wearing you down. Just know, there's light at the end of that dark tunnel.
About the Creator
Victoria Journey
A stay at home mother trying to be a good mom among other things... but mainly be a good mom.
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