PTSD, Depression, Bipolar, and Anxiety Disorders

PTSD. The definition as said from Google translation is "a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall of the experience, with dulled responses to others and to the outside world. It is a disorder in which a person has difficulty recovering after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. It is a very common disorder with more than 3 million cases in the US per year. It is treatable by a medical professional and the condition itself may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions. The symptoms may include nightmares or unwanted memories of the trauma, avoidance of situations that bring back memories of the trauma, heightened reactions, anxiety, or depressed moods. Finally, treatment includes different types of trauma-focused psychotherapy as well as medications to manage symptoms as well as medication. (Google)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A disorder diagnosed for many reasons. Coming back from war, a terrible upbringing, being sexually abused as a kid or even an adult. Things like being in a serious accident, seeing death, losing a loved one. For me, this hits close to home. When I was little, I was abused by a sibling and was forced to go and talk to a therapist for year after year because "talking through it helps you get through it." Of course, after a few sessions, she diagnosed me with PTSD, as well as the sister disorders of depression and anxiety disorder. Now being 12-years-old, these sound like scary things, sitting and thinking there is something majorly wrong with me. Of course, I got through it but day in and day out I sit and think of the people who can't talk to someone about the things they've been through and I couldn't imagine going through it alone.

Depression or clinical depression is "a mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life. This disorder is also very common with again more than 3 million US cases per year and is also treatable by a medical professional. Possible causes include a combination of biological, psychological, and social sources of distress. Increasingly, research suggests these factors may cause changes in brain function including the altered activity of certain neural circuits in the brain. The persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem. Depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide or self-harm. The mainstay of treatment is usually medication, talk therapy, or a combination of the two. Increasingly, research suggests these treatments may normalize brain changes associated with depression." (Google)

Depression is like a sneaky snake. It comes quietly out of nowhere. One minute you could be happy. Not a care in the world. Life is great and everything is going right and in an instant you feel yourself falling into an abyss of darkness. Nothing led to this fall but you are here and you can't shake the feeling. Time and time again I find myself in that hole and I try everything to get out but the feeling doesn't shake. People around you asking if you are okay only seems to make it worse and the person who says phrases like "depression is all in your head. Changes to your diet, exercise and life will make you 'normal'." We've all heard the "you just need some sunlight to cure that depressed feeling you are having." Let me say how annoying these little remarks are. As I am sure that all of these things have a chance to help people with depression, when I am feeling depressed, half of the time I don't even want to get out of bed. For instance, I was at work with two of my best friends one day and everything was fine. I was joking around, talking and laughing, I was feeling great, my son healthy and my fiancee was doing great at his new job and there were no cares in the world and then out of nowhere... BOOM! It hits me like a tornado. Out of nowhere as I was talking with my coworkers, I became instantly sad. I felt weighed down as if a rock was tied to a chain and fastened to my leg dragging me down into the earth. My friend knew something was wrong instantly and trying to explain to her that I just didn't feel happy at that moment was difficult to someone that had no clue as it was to feel depressed like that. Of course, there was another coworker throwing around those words "sunlight" and "change of diet" and "exercise" but he just couldn't understand what was happening at that moment with me because he had never experienced depression disorder. At that moment I was ready to go sit in the bathroom in the dark and quiet. It wouldn't have mattered if I went out in the sun, but that is depression. A tricky disorder. Sneaking up like a slippery snake out of nowhere without a warning.

Which brings us to Bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder, also called manic depression, is "a disorder associated with episodes of mood swings ranging from depressive lows to manic highs." This disorder is, again, also very common with more than 3 million US cases per year. Treatment can help, but this condition cannot be cured. Chronic cases can last for years or be lifelong. The exact cause of bipolar disorder isn't known, but a combination of genetics, environment. and altered brain structure and chemistry may play a role. Manic episodes may include symptoms such as high energy, reduced need for sleep, and loss of touch with reality. Depressive episodes may include symptoms such as low energy, low motivation, and loss of interest in daily activities. Mood episodes last days to months at a time and may also be associated with suicidal thoughts. Treatment is usually lifelong and often involves a combination of medications and psychotherapy. (Google) Bipolar manic disorder is something I have found to be something passed down through genetics although it can skip generations.

Our last disorder, anxiety disorder, is a mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities. It is a very common disorder with more than 3 million cases in the US per year. Examples of anxiety disorders include panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms include stress that's out of proportion to the impact of the event, inability to set aside a worry, and restlessness. Treatment includes counseling or medications, including antidepressants. (Google)

All of these disorders go hand-in-hand. They are disorders that can potentially never go away and most of the time you can be medicated for your whole life to make living life easier.

Growing up my birth mom suffered from a few of these. Her depression would make her sleep for days on end or sit in the dark with the blinds down so light didn't get in. Her mood swings made me feel like I was on a neverending roller coaster that I could not get off of. At the time I was only 12-years-old so I really did not know what was going on with her. When I turned 16, I moved in with my step-family. I myself a few years before had been diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and anxiety disorder for things that happened during my childhood and when I moved in with them, everything turned for the worse. My stepmother was really sick at the time which made her need to sleep. My stepsister had bipolar disorder, anxiety, and depression, one of the three of my stepbrothers was autistic, the second of the third brother had bipolar disorder, and the third had bipolar disorder as well as anxiety disorder. Talk about one dynamic household. There was a lot that we got along about but there was even more that we did not agree on. Personalities ran strong and feelings ran high. It was too easy to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and make somebody upset or angry. Other times you couldn't say enough and would make somebody upset or angry. It was insane the amount of energy that ran through that little house in the middle of the country in a little town in Iowa. I personally was medicated for my disorders and the others were also medicated for theirs. My medication was mostly to help me sleep at night and relax. It made me feel like I was in a catatonic state or beyond tired and I ended up not liking how they made me feel so I stopped taking them and kept them for emergencies. I remember my therapist tried so many medications to see what would work for me. The idea was to find the perfect balance. Getting older I still am not taking medications but have realized that the best medicine is slowing down and taking a breath. I got "inhale, exhale" tattooed onto my forearm on the inside so when I am feeling overwhelmed I can just look at my tattoo, take a deep breath and I start to feel better instantly.

Living in a world filled with disorders doesn't have to be the end. Find something that works for you. For a lot of people, medications work. I have nothing against medications. I had my time of taking them getting myself off of them. I found that the best thing to take for me to sleep so I don't have nightmares or flashbacks of what gave me my disorders is melatonin. It helps me sleep without remembering my dreams. Meditation works for a lot of people and just living one day at a time works for others. My number one piece of advice, however, is to talk to someone. It doesn't even have to be a therapist. It could be a co-worker, family member, or friend. Talking about what is bothering you or making you anxious really helps to make you start feeling better. Lastly, if you are feeling suicidal due to depression or something that has happened in your life, seek help immediately. Your life is worth living and you are worth it. Things will get better.