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Reasons Why

Suicide Awareness: Why You Should Stay

By What's Up WarriorPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Suicide awareness: What are your reasons why?

If you’re reading this article, you’ve likely thought about it, attempted it, or know someone who has. It is estimated that one person dies every 40 seconds from suicide globally. That is over 800,000 deaths per year. There is no way to factor in how many people have considered the act.

Suicide is a global pandemic with far-reaching effects. It casts scars onto every person that the life has touched and even beyond. When in the state of mind leading to suicide, a depressed person does not think logically about how their actions will affect others. The goal is to no longer be a burden, to no longer be empty of feeling. Reaching the point of suicide is not selfish in the mind of that person, but rather, it feels like a gift to those they are leaving behind.

But is it really? The ones we say goodbye to would beg to differ.

What can be done to help put even a small dent in the number of suicides each year? One way is to consider your "Reasons Why." What do you have left to live for? If you are suicidal or have considered suicide, you likely feel you have no hope. Take some time to detach from your own feelings and consider those of the ones around you. Your parents, siblings, husband, wife, friends, and coworkers. There is always somebody that our lives have touched. Now consider what their face would look like when they’re told the news of your death. Are they smiling? Probably not. Has your mother's face crumpled in despair? Is your sister on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest because she can’t breathe?

These were just a couple of the images that came to mind when I did this exercise myself. My first suicidal thought was in seventh grade, quite a few years before I was diagnosed with depression. I told myself I would never do something like that because my family would never forgive me. Then as the depression got worse, the suicidal thoughts got worse and I really had to develop the reasons why I wanted to live.

There weren’t a whole lot of personal reasons why. Physically, I’m a mess. Mentally, I’m not that great either. I had to look beyond myself to find what was worth living for. I rationalized that my mother would understand. She’d been there before, she’d know why I found this just too hard to bear. It would be hard for my dad. I’d always been daddy’s little girl, but he too would find a way to cope. But then I got to my little sister. How would anyone be able to explain this to her? She had only just turned 13, barely making her way into life, struggling with her own insecurities and anxiety. What would she think of me taking this way out? What would it do to her developing psyche?

No matter how I thought about it, there was no outcome of my death that would leave her being okay. And I couldn’t ruin her life just because I was unable to handle my own. That’s how I discovered my reason why. My will to live does not stem from my desire to live for myself, but for my sister to have a chance at life without me screwing it up.

And you know what? It’s been wonderful. The last few years have knocked me down, kicked me around, and smashed my head against a wall a few dozen times, but because I found my reason. I’ve watched my sister blossom into a beautiful young woman. I was there to support my family through my mother’s bout with breast cancer. I traveled to the other side of the country and completed a trip I wanted for half of my life. I rescued two beautiful animals that I love more than air.

I may not live for myself, but living for others to live isn’t too bad.

What is your ‘Reason Why’?

Dedicated to Ashlyn. You don’t know just how much you saved me just by being you. I pray for your heart to be protected and that your beautiful light may shine on others as well. I’m loving you!!!

depression
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