Signs Your Friend May Need Professional Help

Suggesting to your friend that they might need to see a psychologist is not the ideal conversation to have over coffee. There is always the chance that they may get extremely offended and ultimately resent you. It’s an awkward interaction that could cause more harm than good.

Although your pal may display a few unsettling qualities, you may feel under qualified to identify a brewing mental illness. Granted, you deeply care about your friend, but you don’t want to sever the relationship permanently.

Let’s be real, the majority of us don’t have the candor to come right out and tell our friend that they need professional help. That’s why it’s vital to pay attention to the behaviors of those around you.

You may not have the cahoonas to suggest therapy, but you do have the skill of empathy. You can build that wall of trust and allow your friend the platform to open up to you about their feelings. Perhaps during a conversation, you can mildly ask, “have you thought about talking to someone about this?”

The subject of mental health is quite intimate. People like to believe that they are functioning normally. Stigmatized movies and television shows will lead the typical person to believe that if they aren’t Norman Bates, they are fine.

The fear of being judged or labeled could also inhibit individuals from checking themselves. The lack of proper education regarding the different mental illnesses out there leave many in the dark to their own behavior.

Sadly, many go untreated or undiagnosed until something detrimental occurs that triggers an all-around intervention. Sometimes, it can be too late.

The art of analyzing subtle behaviors could be life-changing for both you and your relationship. Here are a few signs that could indicate your friend needs some extra assistance.

Extreme Impressionable Behavior

Peer pressure doesn’t end with High School. Instead, it becomes a subconscious influence that impacts broken individuals hard. They may make a new friend and slowly start talking just like them. They may even change their entire voice to fit in. (Trust me, I’ve seen this in person)

Does your friend change his interests depending on who he’s around? Does he succumb to the pressures of excessive drinking in order to keep up with those around him? Does he begin to emulate others mannerisms- almost to the point of performance?

If you have a friend that demonstrates these qualities, they may have something deeper going on within themselves. They may feel unhappy with who they are which prompts them to take on the characteristics of others.

This may be caused by low-self worth or a lack of self-confidence. They admire so much about what they see in others that they dwindle the beauty they have within themselves. They don’t bring their unique perspective to the table because they feel they are inferior.

A great way to build your friend up is to commend him on his good traits. We all bring something different to a friendship and sometimes it’s hard to see that value when you haven’t found your confidence.

Perhaps the reason he subconsciously feels inadequate is that nobody encouraged him growing up. He copies those around him because he sees something inspiring in them. Fuel those insecurities with positive reinforcement.

Disappearing Acts

I once had a friend who would go through disappearing spells. He would appear to be dandy and happy during one occasion, but the following week he was impossible to reach. This went on for quite some time- this constant back and forth of not hearing from him. Come to find out, he was battling a severe depression that he kept hidden.

Sometimes, those dealing with anxiety or depression may have intense guilt after a social occasion. They may wonder if they did something wrong or embarrassing. They may even feel guilty about spending time with friends. This could be a reason for their sudden periods of absence.

Don’t give up on them. Continue to reach out to your friend and let them know that you value their presence. If they need time to recharge, allow them that dignity.

Sudden Personality Changes

If you’ve known someone for an extended period of time, you have likely picked up on their habits. Do they like going out to clubs? Do they love fashion and beauty? Are they extremely focused career-wise? All of these characteristics, plus more, make up our personality. Sometimes, one of these qualities may even be what we’re remembered for.

If you notice a pattern of opposing personality changes, turn your spidey sense on. Losing interest in former hobbies or habits is one of the signs of depression.

You want to approach this situation delicately. Perhaps ask them how things are going and if everything is okay. If they ask why, be honest with them. Tell them that you’ve noticed a change in their behavior and you care about their well-being. Tact is vital! You never want to come across as an interrogator as that will trigger a shutdown.

The time to pull out the big guns, so to speak, is when you notice harmful personality changes. If a friend who rarely drank alcohol is suddenly downing fifths of vodka, it’s okay to be direct. Stil approaches the conversation with kindness, but let them know your concern. Signs of drug dependency or substance abuse are major red flags.

At this point, your friend’s health may be on the line and it is imperative to act quickly. Hopefully, through your support, they will be able to get the assistance they need before their problem is uncontrollable.

Pay attention to how they handle conflict

Violent outbursts, threatening remarks or verbal abuse should alert you that something is off. How a person handles conflict speaks volumes to their impulse control. If you have a friend whose immediate response to opposition is an act of violence, there may be something deeper going on that needs immediate attention.

The severity of this may seem excessive, but confronting their pattern of behavior in this regard could save them from making a regretful mistake. Think about the consequences of violence in general. Unwanted scars, being banned from a public place or worse, seriously injuring someone else. These outcomes can go from mild to life-altering in seconds.

If you ever hear of a friend speaking about hurting someone else or even themselves, act quickly. Don’t brush it off as a joke. Many lives could have been saved in the past if one person just took the threats of another seriously.

What if they end up resenting me?

In a perfect world, your friend would likely hug you and thank you for your concern. Then, a montage of happy 80’s love songs would play and you would walk off in the distance shoulder to shoulder.

Because we don’t live in a sitcom, more than likely your friend may not take too kindly to your concern. This is why delivery is key. Approach them with the utmost respect and kindness. Show them how much you care about their well-being through your words.

If they become offended, apologize. However, let them know that you are just trying to look out for them. If a distance is necessary, take it. Things like this take time to settle. The time apart may give them an opportunity to really analyze themselves.

Yes, it may be uncomfortable initially, but wouldn’t you rather your friend get to a healthy space as opposed to lingering in negativity?

As mentioned, jumping right into the suggestion of therapy isn’t my advice. Asking questions and taking a genuine interest in your friend is a great first step.

Our circle of friends is chosen family members and we want the best for them!

It is imperative to speak up when you see a pattern of destructive behavior in a way that is comfortable for you. This will not only save them from future harm, but you will be doing your due diligence as a good friend.

Creative Mental Health Awareness Initiative is a non-profit organization dedicated to raising awareness of mental health through creativity. If you would like more information regarding our organization or if you would like to help out, visit our website above!