Something Beautiful

For everyone who has had a hard time lately with everything and just wants to cry, scream, and run away from everything, this will help you rethink how you're spending your energy.

I used to have bad anger issues and take it out on things. I'd get so frustrated, overthink everything, and make the problem worse. It would ruin my day. Over the last 7 years, I wanted to practice not being so angry all the time and being able to let things go. I would look at self-help books and sites, and talk to friends and family to get their insight. At first, I wasn't making much progress and I felt like giving up. I would think, why was being happy and not getting mad over everything so hard? How did successful people just let things slide, as if it didn't phase them? I decided it was time to stop being angry and to help myself be happy again. For real, this time.

When I allowed myself to think about how I would react to difficult situations and how I would handle things, I realized I had come a long way from saying what I was feeling in the heat of the moment. I realized I couldn't take most of those words back. I started thinking of what I was going to say before I said it. It took a lot of patience, time, effort, and sleepless nights, figuring out why I would get so mad while trying to have better control of how I reacted in certain situations. I could see I was a happier person and that there are always two or more sides to every situation and that all you have to do is choose the best decision for that particular situation.

Now, when I get upset or frustrated, I will take a few deep breaths, get away from the situation and get some fresh air–some green also helps. I tell myself that everything will be alright and that the things that I'm going through won't last forever. I have to repeat this over and over to actually believe it, and then sometimes I just forget–I've taken Ginkgo Biloba for that. No matter where you are in life, take a few breaths and let go of all your worries at the moment so you can heal and be prepared for tomorrow. Start a new journey to get from where you are right now to where you want to be.

Some people have anxiety, and some have it worse than others, and we all need to find that one outlet, whether it's cleaning, writing, drawing, working out, or being outside. I get it, it's a huge list. We all have that outlet that brings us back to earth and life. It's amazing that while we're in OUR zone, life doesn't seem so bad and we can just breathe! It's amazing–if I didn't say that before–and then, bam, we have strawberries in the fridge, good ones, and chicken on the way. The best chicken ever, from out of a bag that I wouldn't have guessed I would ever like. Anyway, back on target, when I found my zone I let all the hate go and loved living in this moment. I became thankful that I'm in a house with people who care and a man who is like a machine, working from 2 till 8 or 9 sometimes, then coming home and taking care of the family, even when I can see on his face that he's tired and needs a break. I get it and I love him. Cheers.

I always find cleaning relaxing. Just washing dishes, sweeping, wiping the counters, or cleaning my car. Just knowing that I'm getting rid of toxic energy and getting germs out of the house makes me feel happy and decluttered. Then, when I can't stand the house anymore, when I feel like I cleaned everything and will want to start wiping down walls next, I just step outside and get some fresh air and take my little guy for a walk. Just feeling the heat of the sun on me makes me forget all of my problems and I can finally just breathe. Sometimes that's all you need, just a few minutes and some fresh air to take the edge off.

I'm hoping this piece will help anyone who is struggling and needs some reassurance that the bad things in life don't last forever. We all need help sometimes, so don't be afraid to reach out to anyone. You don't have to do this alone! Until next time.

-Lena