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Stop Posting The Suicide Helpline, You're Not Doing Any Favors

Seriously, stop. You're not curing my depression, and when I want to die I certainly don't want to call a stranger and wait in a queue.

Credit to cwote.tumblr.com

I'm depressed.  I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (rapid cycling, type two), pretty much every anxiety disorder possible, borderline personality disorder, and I probably have a whole lot of other shit going on that I'm just too tired to even get checked out.  My psychiatrist told me multiple times in this week's visit that I really do need therapy, and I need to stop laughing off my problems.  

The gist of all that is, I'm pretty fucked up. Fucked up enough to speak about mental illness in the media these days.

After these two most recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, my timelines have been plagued with neurotypical bullshit. I'm absolutely heartbroken by these past two suicides as well. I grew up watching Bourdain and I've always wanted Kate Spade bags. But every time this happens, I always see people reposting the Suicide Helpline.

I am so, so, tired of seeing these posts. I am so tired of posting in hopes of someone reaching out when I'm in my lows to help, only to be ignored because my mental illness is "scary" or it's "a burden I don't want to deal with." Do you feel the need to post a helpline because you can't handle the actual reality of mental illness, and can't be bothered to actually reach out to your friends when you need help? Do you really think that posting a suicide hotline would have saved my dead friend?

Don't tweet shit that makes it seem like you care about people's mental illnesses if you don't mean it. If I tell you I'm genuinely having a breakdown and want to kill myself, don't screenshot it and use it against me as some sort of fucked up blackmail. Don't laugh at me when I'm sitting in the back of a classroom quietly sobbing because someone thought it would be funny to message my abuser about me. Don't tell me that you absolutely fucking hate me and then expect for me to be okay with you. Don't do any of that shit and act like you care about mental illness.

Instead of trying to seem like a ~cool and good person on the internet~, here are some things you can do to actually try to make a difference:

  • Realize that when people are so deep into an episode, whether it be manic, depressive, or psychotic they DO NOT want to be like this.  They don't want to act like they're acting, believe me. They're going to look back on this moment for as long as they can remember it and genuinely feel like dying. Please, make it as light on them as possible.
  • See your friend tweeting they want to off themselves? Don't ignore it, you should probably check in and see if they're okay. 9/10 chances are they aren't posting it to be edgy, they probably feel absolutely alone and don't have an outlet. Even if they say they're okay, the fact that you reached out means more than you could imagine.
  • Don't suggest drinking water, doing yoga, or smelling essential oils.  You're not curing my depression.
  • You're allowed to do research. A simple Google search of "how to help a friend who's having a panic attack," "how to handle my girlfriend's emotional mental breakdown at 3 AM while she stress eats on the bathroom floor in the dark," or "what is borderline personality disorder?" You don't need to know the neuro part of what's going on inside our brains, but a way to help someone cope means a lot and can help even more.

Just let people know you care and stop posting vague shit that you think is helping. It isn't.  

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Stop Posting The Suicide Helpline, You're Not Doing Any Favors
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