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Suicidal Ideation

Let's talk about it.

By Christina WoodcockPublished 7 years ago 5 min read
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Let's talk about something I'm all too familiar with, something I have experienced first hand.

Let's talk about suicide.

These days it seems suicide in the media is everywhere you look. From live streams and beloved celebrities to the much more controversial 13 Reasons Why." We've come a long way as a society when it comes to hard to discuss topics like mental health, and yet are we any closer to truly understanding the reasons behind suicide and suicidal ideation?

It's something not often talked about in a non-judgemental light.

Nearly 30,000 Americans take their lives every year, and it's the third leading cause of death for 15 to 24-year-olds and second for 24 to 35-year-olds. So how does someone make that choice? What can we as a society do to lower those numbers?

We can start by understanding a little bit more about what suicidal ideation looks like, what the risks are and what the thought process is for someone who might be considering it.

Suicide is NOT a cry for attention. It's not a sign of weakness. It's not inherently selfish. It's not an overreaction to a bad day or event. Most people who think about suicide experience these thoughts and feelings for months or even years before acting on them. People with suicidal ideation often truly believe that it is their only choice, the only way out of a bad situation. A person who experiences suicidal ideation might feel useless or burdensome. They are often frustrated by their own inability to "get over it." People who chose to act on suicide quite often believe that they are doing so for the greater good, to protect or preserve the feelings or happiness of others in their lives.

Suicide can affect everyone from all walks of life, but studies show the those who experienced childhood sexual abuse or violence (before the age of 18) are more than twice as likely to experience suicidal ideation and attempt suicide. The correlation between adults with depression, suicidal ideation, and a history of violence (domestic and sexual) are staggering. But that is not to say that every person who experiences depression or suicidal ideation will act on those thoughts. For some, suicidal ideation can be a nagging voice in the back of your mind. A random morbid thought or image comes to mind (intrusive thoughts for example) that focus on death. These thoughts can be fleeting, but still, leave us feeling concerned or scared, or even frustrated.

Some examples of suicidal ideation might look like:

  • Making jokes or offhand comments about being dead or dying.
  • Making statements about being alone or how someone might be better off without them.
  • Feeling useless or unworthy.
  • Feeling like a burden.
  • Looking at pictures or articles relating to death and suicides obsessively.

While some people never think past the ideation stage, that isn't to say they aren't or never will be at risk for suicide. Someone who is at higher risk might show some of the same symptoms and more, such as:

  • Actively self-harming; self-harm comes in many shapes and forms, such as cutting, pinching, scratching, hair pulling, or hitting themselves. Some of these can be easier to hide than others, so it can be easy to miss.
  • Someone who is seriously thinking of suicide might seem distant or preoccupied; they may give off the impression that they simply do not care.
  • They may try to bring up the subject of suicide in a way that doesn't necessarily point to themselves as being at risk. If someone you know does this, try not to make judgmental statements such as "that's really dumb" or "that's selfish." Instead, keep in mind this person may be reaching out for help.
  • Try to say something more supportive such as "That person must have really been hurting" or "I feel bad that this person felt so alone."
  • If someone talks to you directly about acting on suicidal thoughts, talk to them about how they feel and why they feel that way. Listen to what they have to say without judging or getting defensive. You can let someone know that they would be missed and it would hurt those they love without sounding cold or unsupportive.
  • Statements like "I'm sorry you are hurting so much, would you like to talk about it?" or " I would really miss you if you did that, do you want to to talk about why you feel this way?" are so much more supportive and more likely to get the person to express themselves and possibly feel a bit better.

When a person with suicidal ideation feels supported and understood, they are more likely to focus on why they feel the way they do as opposed to just focusing on the bad feelings in general. They are much more likely to reach out for help the next time they are considering acting on those urges.

If someone you know frequently talks about suicide, it does not mean they are just looking for attention. So many times I have heard people complaining about how someone they know is "always threatening suicide" (while there are manipulative people that do this, this article is focusing on the ones who are truly depressed and at risk for suicide). Someone who continually reaches out may have some underlying issues, such as major depression, PTSD, Bipolar disorder, or other mental health issues. Encourage them to seek additional help while still offering your support.

Sometimes this person may just really need the additional reassurance that they truly are needed and loved (especially if the situation causing the suicidal ideation is still ongoing).

It can be hard to be continually supportive of someone who often seems like they are "on the edge", but you don't have to do it alone, there is support out there for you as well. Try to help them find other resources for help as well while reminding them that you care. You as a support system are only human and in need of support yourself. It's not always easy to listen to someone who's hurting without feeling hurt yourself. It can be heartbreaking and frustrating to feel like you can't help someone you care for.

These types of feelings don't go away overnight. It takes time and patience to reverse the thought that you are unworthy of life. Think about what that means or what it might feel like to feel so low that you actually feel like you don't deserve to live.

If you know someone who is suicidal or experiencing suicidal ideation, love them. Love them with everything you have because they need it more than you can imagine. Educate yourself on what the risk factors are and what the signs are.

If you are the person experiencing suicidal ideation, there are so many wonderful resources out there. Websites, hotlines you can call, hotlines you can text if you're too afraid to call.

Here are a few to get you started:

https://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

https://www.thehopeline.com/what-to-do-when-you-feel-suicidal

http://www.youcannotbereplaced.com/

http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line (free and anonymous): Text start to 741-741

Remeber, you are not your pain, you DO matter.

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About the Creator

Christina Woodcock

I'm a 29yr old Wife and mother. I have C-PTSD and I'm a Mental health advocate dedicated to helping others and giving back.

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