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Sunless Life

Living with XP and Bullies

We all would love to go to the beach every now and then. It would be great to just lay in the sun and listen to the nature of the sea. For you, it may be easy, but for me, it's like climbing Mt. Everest (or at least something close). 

Before you read further, let me explain what is my definition of XP. XP is short for Xeroderma Pigmentosum (I know right, such a weird word). I was born with XP, so it wasn't really my choice. So you might wonder; "why is this even a topic?" Well, it's a one in a million skin disease and I happen to be that one. Now, I would gladly be "the one" to prince charming or Channing Tatum, but being "the one" to XP is an excruciating thing to be. 

Let me paint you a picture. Every time I leave the comfort of my home, I must run to avoid every ray of the sun. If I am in a car, and it turns around the corner, I must switch the seat to avoid the sun from touching me. If that isn't bad enough, every inch of my body is covered in freckles but not your typical freckle. My freckles give me higher chances of developing skin cancer throughout my entire life. As you can maybe imagine, every different colored freckle was being cut out. Therefore, I have nearly as many scars as I do freckles. What a sight for sore eyes, am I right?

In the world we live in today, being different makes you an outcast. With me being covered in scars and freckles, obviously, that makes me different. For some may appreciate "different." but others tend to walk the other way when they see you. With that being said, friendship is out of the question.

I enjoy this as much as I enjoy being called a "monster" because of the way I look. Not only that I don't have sunlight in my life, but I also have no friends either. In this case, looks do matter. It took me a long time to realize that being by yourself isn't that bad. It may get lonely sometimes, but it's better to be someone friend's and listen to them gossip about you after you leave. Just because I, sometimes, prefer to be alone it doesn't always mean I want to. I would love to meet someone who truly wants to be my friend.

Life without any sun is a very, very dark world. A world in which I live in every painful second of my life. A life I wouldn't wish on anyone. As tough as it may seem, I have made it this far and even though sometimes I wish to quit, I must keep going. But that is extremely hard to do when everywhere you go, the looks from people eyes act as a knife that stabs you in the heart repeatedly. 

I do wish that people should try to understand those who are different, instead of pushing them closer and closer to the edge. It's not really easy to live a life that suffocates you and having to take more pain from your fellow humans.

People go around and judge others, hurt them by their words, and when they start to give up on themselves you blame them for being too weak. Please understand that words can kill. Words hurt more than physical pain. It hurt in the place where no doctors can reach, where no medicines can heal. I say this from experiences. The experience I would love to forget but can't seem to let go.

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Sunless Life
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