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The Beauty of Being Both

Through the eyes of an AMBIVERT

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Everyone has unique and individual ways of recharging their energy. For the longest time, I thought I gained my energy from being around people. I am social, and friendly, I like to hang out, and go on adventures with others. But as I have gotten older and become more aware of my spiritual, mental, and emotional needs, I have realized that I am most fulfilled, and feel the most recharged when I am by myself. There's a certain kind of peace that comes with simply being in your own company—and enjoying it. It wasn't easy for me to get to this mental state. Like I said, I love being around people, and hanging out, so coming to the realization that I even could be alone (and love it!) was pretty astounding. Once I grasped it, though, it became my safe place.

So how does that work exactly?

Am I an introvert at heart who can put on a fake face, and have fun in a group of people?

Or am I an extrovert who likes to reel back in from time to time, and have some peace and quiet?

These questions filled my head. I didn't feel like I fit well in either the extrovert or introvert stereotype. I felt a little lost.

Until I discovered a beautiful word.

Ambivert.

An ambivert is someone whose personality has a balance of extroverted and introverted features. They adapt to their surroundings accordingly. So, for example, in a low intensity atmosphere, an ambivert will appear as an introvert—quiet, slightly withdrawn, observant. And in a high energy environment, they will allow their extroverted side to peep out, full of enthusiasm and friendliness. Fascinating.

This was me.

I was so excited to finally find a description of myself that I could read and say, "Yes! This identifies me!"

Here are a few ways I discovered more about my ambivert side. Maybe you can relate? Or know of someone whose personality echoes these traits?

1. I like people... but I love my alone time.

While I do enjoy doing things in group settings, meeting new people, and interacting with interesting individuals, I also love doing things on my own—such as hiking, going to concerts, traveling out of state or country, and shopping. I enjoy going out, vibing with others, and being in high energy environments, but I set expiration times. I have discovered that if I can't have time to sit alone with myself, I won't be my highest self around others. Some people find this odd. I find it unique.

2. I like meeting new people... but I don't like shallow relationships.

I am fascinated by humans. We are each so rare and intriguing. And I would rather have a one-on-one conversation with someone than to mingle at a party, and have random, meaningless chit chat with multiple people I will most likely never see again. I would rather have a connection with one person in an evening, than to meet fifty. I don't like small talk, and I save my deep topics for fellow humans who I feel safe in having those special conversations with.

3. I try to maintain a peaceful aura... but I also have a wild side.

People have told me that I have a calming presence, but then others tell me I am a bit of a firecracker. This can be tricky when it comes to group hang outs.

4. I feel like I am easy to understand... but sometimes, only by certain people.

I know that I can be pretty difficult to understand logically sometimes, but if someone takes the time to comprehend my personality at a soul level, they would have a much better grasp of who I am.

5. I can confidently adapt to my surroundings... but can get overwhelmed by large groups.

I am extremely intuitive. I am sensitive, in the way of feeling the energies and emotions of those around me. I can step into a room, and immediately know what everyone around me is feeling. This can get overwhelming if I'm not careful with how I handle it. Sometimes I need to do a mental check, and remind myself to let others' energies flow off, like water droplets on a swan's back.

If I am around people who I would not normally choose to hang out with, I tend to be quiet and withdrawn. If I know that they don't have the same lifestyle and mindset that I do, I don't vocalize my personality as much as I would in a setting with like-minded humans. Interacting with people who don't understand me or respect my points of view is extremely exhausting, so I don't waste my time trying to connect with them. I enjoy learning about others' occupations and their hobbies, and I will show genuine interest in what they share with me, but if I know that we are very different creatives, then I will most likely not divulge personal information with them.

I have also found that I am very confident in almost any type of environment. I can rely on my extroverted side to help start up and carry on conversations, avoid awkward situations, and keep the energy high. I can also rely on my introverted side to connect with socially awkward people, and help create a safe and less chaotic place.

To anyone who has wondered if they are bipolar, or have a double-sided personality, chances are you may just have an ambivert tendency. I would encourage you to look into this possibility, and learn more about yourself. Study the beauty of being both, and embrace it as a beautiful identity.

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