The Beginning

Hello I am Danette, and I am a disabled wife and mother. My husband is a veteran and is also disabled. We have two wonderful kids, a daughter who is 20 years old and lives in Oregon. Then we have our son who is 12 years old and in the 6th grade. We are in the process of trying to get things ready to move to Kentucky. I am looking forward to a change, but the main reason we are moving is for better medical help, and to be closer to Shriner's Hospital for our son. I suffer Bipolar, depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia. I have a past of self harm and trying to commit suicide. I am happy to say that I have not harmed myself since 2009. I am getting the help I need to keep doing ok. I have found getting tattoos help with the urge to self harm. I was told in the beginning of 2009 after my first stay in the hospital that I had Bipolar-schizo, but the mental health I was going to never confirmed it. I since have changed houses and am going to a different mental health, and one of their doctors actually confirmed that I have schizophrenia about 2 years ago. I have joined a support group on Facebook for it, and that has helped a lot. I struggle daily with getting out of bed, and to just function normally. I don't mean to write this for pity but to hopefully help someone else.

I have always seen and heard things that others did not, I did not know at the time that it was not normal. I would not find that out until February 2009, when I would have a mental break down and end up spending a week in the hospital for trying to kill my self. I was working a full time job, raising my son on my own, and trying to be okay. It was coming up to my son's 3rd birthday, and the anniversary of my older brother's passing. I had been putting work in front of my son, thinking if I kept working things would be okay. My niece was at my apartment with me, I was getting ready for work and honestly I have no idea why I broke down then. I took a knife and went into the bathroom. My niece then called my sister who rushed over and talked me out of the bathroom. She then called Mental health, and they got me in right away.

I was asked all these questions that no one had ever asked before, and I was honest. The person I was talking to decided that I needed to be in the hospital so I had to go pack and then was taken down to Bay City. I was there for a week, where they put me on some medicine to help balance me out. I was also taught somethings to try to help me cope better. I was doing good for about 6 months, then I ended up back in the hospital. I was there another week then I was let go of my job. The guy who let me go would not talk to me so I could go back to work. Instead they just paid unemployment to me.

The second time I was in the hospital is when my mom found out that I was hospitalized. I would not let anyone tell her the first time. I told my mom when I was 18 that I had depression and she said that I was making it up and it was only in my head. So I did not feel she needed to know the first time I was in the hospital. The second time I finally let my sister tell her. She asked to call me and I said okay, we had a heart to heart while I was in the hospital. She finally believed me and did not think I was making it up. When I got out she came down and stayed with me for a weekend.

My son and I then went and stayed with my mom for about a month. We came back November 10th, 2009. One of my sister's friends was with my sister when we met up with them in between my mom's house and my sister's house. We went for lunch and then I asked the friend if he could put my vacuum together for me, that night it was my sister's friend, his daughter, my son, and me at the apartment. Since then we have been together. I am happy with how things turned out.

Yet the first year would try the relationship like no other. Switching counties is hard but when one mental health facility wont help you get your medicine because you are no longer in their area and you have to wait along time to get into the new one's doctor is hard. Yet he never left even though I did and said things that were mean and cruel. When you are at the lowest of the low and it looks like there is no light in the tunnel. That is when you see who are there for you.