The Haven: A Mental Health Discord Server

With the internet making the world seem like a smaller place, it does not surprise that it also risks making the therapy room a lot bigger as well. While for some seeking help from close friends or a therapist is enough, for those who do not enjoy the face-to-face interaction and appointment booking to receive the desired support, there are online options which you can utilize from the comfort of your own home.

The Haven, an inclusive peer-supported Discord server, is a good place to start if you are in need of support. For those who do not know what Discord is, it is a software (think Skype but with a lot more social and creative perks) that allows you to join or create servers of your own and thus create or be a part of a community.

The Haven utilizes everything that Discord as a software offers. Roles are assigned to those who join the server, however, the majority of those in the server are simply members, while other member roles are known as HR,MODERATORS, LISTENERS, and SUPPORT. The server also utilizes the function of voice and text chat, where both functions are created for different topics. At times, the server even hosts small seminars on mental health or events and activities. The Haven is primarily run by users holding the role SADMINS, which is a role assigned to the members Zen, Chameleon_Mind, Krabat, and Miss Fleece.

Availability, Peer Support Function and Chat Rooms

The Haven is a server that is great in a sense that it is actively run 24/7 around the clock. There is always somebody online to talk to you, no matter how funny the hour may be. Those who hold the role of SUPPORT are assigned by those who wish to be a supporter themselves. At your disposal are 10 text chat rooms available as support rooms for those who feel the need to vent or talk about their lives, struggles, or crisis.

The Haven also offers chat rooms open for other topics. The Haven has a lounge where a general discussion is avid. There are chat rooms available for topics such as mental health chat, relationships, sex, meds and therapy, LGBTQ+, and many, many more, including chat rooms for sensitive issues that are labeled trigger warning.

There are, of course, also chat rooms designed for off-topic discussions related to day-to-day life such as hobbies, work, school, and productivity to name a few. As much as it is helpful to talk to others about the state of your mental health and your problems, at times it may be relaxing to talk about your favorite pet or a hobby you enjoy.

The Haven's Creator: Jess Bick Law

The creator of the server, Zen, whose real name is Jess Bick Law, created The Haven on July 15, 2017. Back then, Law did not expect it to grow into what it is today. With an explosive number of over 2,000 members on the server, she could not have anticipated the server's growth.

"I had no idea if we would float or sink. It was an idea, then flying by the seat of our pants, then figuring out how to make it work while steadily attracting people."Law says, "but I never imagined we'd get this big."

While Law has always been passionate about mental health service and advocacy, she thought that creating a safe space for people with a mental illness was a no-brainer. With Law herself being diagnosed with bipolar, ADD, GAD, BPD, panic disorders, and agoraphobia, it is safe to say that the topic of mental illness is a subject close to her heart.

In the past, Law had been moderating a small mental health server, and when a friend had left they had decided on trying out the idea of making their own server. With the success of The Haven, Law has plans and goals for the future of the server.

"Ultimately I'd like to turn this into a non-profit that fundraises to create grants to give to members of The Haven for private mental health care when no other options are available to them in a timely fashion."

For Law, it has been an important element to partner up The Haven with other servers as allows cross-population which benefits both servers long-term.

"We tend to partner with Discords that are very different than ours or servers run by members. The Haven Lite is our baby sister that accepts people under 18, whereas [The Haven is] 18 and up."

Today, with the server being as large as it is, Law works a lot on social media outreach by frequently posting on social platforms like Reddit and Instagram. Having even a GoogleAd, Reddit ad, and a Twitter ad, the majority of individuals seem to have joined The Haven through Reddit.

However, the popularity of the server has not always been an easy road. Facing a lot of hatred and maliciousness from different corners of the public have proven a challenge for Law and her work with maintaining The Haven as a safe place. Upon being asked on what type of negative feedback Law had received, she responded:

"Honestly a little of everything. Hatred and vitriol to regulars who've been here since nearly the beginning. Some people love it, some people are lukewarm but we have a lot of people who leave and come back or actively fight to be unbanned, so there must be some draw. My co-founder and I are on non-speaking terms, never again. So he has very negative feedback. Everyone in the real world I talk to love the idea."

In a server where anyone can technically say anything and break the rules, situations can easily take a wrong turn. However, for Law, it seems progress is what truly matters. Especially the progress on someone's well-being, even when it may be tough to run the server.

"Both positive and negative [experiences]. It's wonderful to watch someone progress and get healthier, and then it's hard to moderate and make decisions like who to ban and for what reason. People are very open with their anger."

Law personally does use the server herself when she is in need of support but generally prefers to moderate the server. She is even actively working on making The Haven a social cause organization and dishes on plans related to involving working professionals in the future.

"We're filing to be a nonprofit. I'd really like to keep it peer support. I think the sense of camaraderie that builds is invaluable. We might make a sister server down the line with crisis-trained workers."

Law heavily emphasizes on The Haven continuing on being a peer support server where everyone is equal and help each other out. Believing her cause to be golden, Law has great plans in store for the future of The Haven.

Mooderating The Haven

Willow, one of The Haven's MOODERATORS, came across The Haven roughly two months ago. Willow had been a part of a different peer support server since 2012 but left a while back due to being mistreated by a server admin. Having met Zen through said server, Willow was invited to The Haven.

"It's interesting [moderating The Haven]. As a moderator and HR, I get to see basically everything. [...] I see the good, the bad, and the stuff that makes you go WTF? All the stuff that disappears so fast you blink and it's gone - that's all us on the mod team and HR team. We see stuff that most people don't get to see."

However, exhaustion and overwhelming come in a package with the negative experiences when moderating The Haven. It is a battle to get rid of the trolls as fast as possible before they can cause harm to the members who visit The Haven for support and advice.

Willow continues to express the struggles of supporting members and the effects it has on her personally:

"We see the members going through the roughest and most chaotic times, but that can be... overwhelming? I've personally been affected because of the incredible people on here who are going through so much."

Willow adds:

"But there's also an enormous amount of positive to be experienced here — I've helped people through great times of distress, and they've helped me."

Willow does not only help moderate The Haven but also support those in need. She joins in and hosts activities, finding them to be a great distraction. She believes it is particularly important for a server like The Haven to exist, as it helps make the server and therapy co-exist.

"Your crisis might not wait for you to talk to your therapist at 4:00 Thursday. I'm looking for a therapist myself — The Haven doesn't replace it. I think they both go hand-in-hand."

What makes Willow stay and continue being a part of The Haven is the positivity and the group of people just trying. She finds, in her own words, that it is something that "makes it so cool to stay."

The Community and the Effects Of Online Peer Support

On The Haven, support is always one click away on the phone or the computer. For the members of the server, there is a certain appeal to having around-the-clock support when you personally need it compared to booking appointments for therapy.

It is not a new phenomenon for patients who lack trust in their caretaker. The bond between therapist and patient may at times be too formal or uncomfortable. But talking to your peers where they offer support removes the uneasiness and grants a feeling of safety. That is one of the many reasons one may choose peer support over therapy.

"I do therapy, but to be honest it's easier to talk online because I trust people more than I trust my therapist," says a member who prefers to be referred to as Mr. Bean in this article, "I've had a lot of bad experiences with mental health field workers so it's hard to get over that."

"[...] I can reach out at any time. There are a lot of friendly and nice people on the server, and sometimes therapists [can] be not so nice and friendly," says a member who is referred to in this article as Gentle Giant, who has had a lot of positive experiences with The Haven.

For those, like member Ash, who do not have a therapist themselves, find it to be a relief to not have to deal with the physical contact when opening up. Reality compared to the online world can sometimes be heavier, and having online interactions helps lift some of the social burdens.

"I don't have a therapist due to my anxiety issues. It's a lot easier to talk online because it's not face-to-face. I can simply ignore or I can put on a face a lot easier when they can't see me," says Ash, "I also feel more confident online, like I can be a better version of myself. [In real life] I'm quiet, I don't speak my mind. I don't really show affection or anything. Online I feel like I can be more... real."

Both Mr. Bean and Ash have made friends through The Haven thanks to the events that the server hosts. Ash enjoys being a part of most events like the movie nights, while Mr. Bean, tries to join in whenever work schedule and time difference does not interfere.

"The server is amazing, everyone here is fantastic. I wish I could get to know everyone but that's unlikely. I generally don't go to support. I just use the vent channel to get shit out. I enjoy giving support though, even though I'm technically not a supporter," says Ash.

"A friend recommended the server to me, I've been there since November last year or October," says Mr. Bean,"[The Haven] makes me feel less lonely. Just having a community of people who understand and care about you has a big impact. Like we each share what we're struggling with and that kinda builds trust."

Gentle Giant finds that being on the server has helped improve his mental health. Having been on the server since the start of 2018, Gentle Giant has positive experiences with The Haven.

"The Haven has helped a lot with my mental health, giving me support and tips on how to help and treat it. I have been diagnosed with depression and I am seeing a therapist to help me with my struggles," says Gentle Giant.

Making friends and joining partner servers of The Haven for "Dungeons and Dragons," however, is not the only positive aspect of being a part of a Discord focused on mental health. The community of The Haven is also an inclusive community. Members who are LGBTQ+ are more than welcome to The Haven. Mr. Bean, who identifies as queer, feels positive about The Haven's inclusiveness.

"The Haven is very, very open and welcoming and everyone there honestly made me feel a lot better about being queer just with how supportive they are. And also a lot of other people there are queer and it's nice to have that in common with people who also have [a mental illness] because they kinda impact each other sometimes," says Mr. Bean, "it's nice having people who understand/relate."

The idea of being a part of a friendly community seems to be incredibly fulfilling to many members of The Haven. Ash, who despite having his own personal struggles with bad thoughts and anxiety, shares his favorite thing about being a part of The Haven:

"[My favorite thing is] Probably how loving and supportive everyone is. They all deal with their own shit, some might not even want to live (like me) but still. They support, they love, they don't judge or hate. Even if you just joined they love and support you like you've been here all along."

For many, being welcomed in a new server where you know no one, can be quite comforting to be embraced the moment you're part of the community. This is what The Haven is all about.

How do I join The Haven?

Anyone who is over the age of 18 is allowed passage in The Haven. Having a lot of social media reach on not just Discord but also Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Reddit, it makes sense for The Haven becoming as large of a community as it is. If you are however below the age of 18, it is recommended you join The Haven Lite which is a Discord server for individuals age 13 and up with safe for work content only.

If you feel the need for mental health peer support, The Haven (or The Haven Lite, depending on your age) is a great place to stay and make friends, join activities, and receive advice and support. As it is a 24/7 online peer support Discord and moderated constantly, there will always be someone available to chat with you no matter how late or early it is.

Below are following Discord links for both servers:

The Haven 18+ NSFW Discord Server.

The Haven Lite 13+ SFW Discord Server

Link below to the official website of The Haven:

https://www.thehaven.support/

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A special thank you to everyone who participated in the interview.