The Problem with Depression

Growing up my parents had always told me, “Nothing in life is easy.” I’ve become accustomed to this saying to be true; especially while I deal with depression. The status of mental health in this country is astounding. Human beings of all ages, ethnicities, and sexualities often feel the overwhelming heartache that drag you down when you try to roll out of bed for a productive day. Despite nearly most of the United States feeling this way, people are still afraid to speak out about it. I was one of those people. Until now.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having depression nor any other mental health issue. I’ve just always been closed-up about telling people my problems whether it be emotional issues or mental issues. However, I believe now is a good time to speak out.

Throughout elementary school and middle school I was bullied. I’m gonna spare you the sob story because I’m sure many of you know what it is like to be bullied or made fun of. I was always overweight so you can only imagine what kids would say about me. By the time high school rolled around, I was fed up. I was bullied so bad during my freshman year I would beg my mom to pick me up from school and I begged her to let me be a car rider rather than a bus rider where boys would bully me for being “overweight.”

Junior year hit and I had finally started to develop some self confidence. Sure, I had rough days but I learned to stand up for myself as well as other kids who were being bullied and I decided not to continuously hate myself even though I was depressed. I decided to make the best out of life despite my broken feelings.

Both of my parents have dealt with mental issues such as depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety, though I find it difficult to talk to them about how I feel. I know deep down that they will understand me, but I wouldn’t even know where to begin with explaining the hurt my heart holds and the sadness that is contained within me.

Oftentimes I’ve thought about going to a therapist and perhaps that would help me a lot. I don’t know why it is so hard for me to disclose the feelings I have and the stories of things I have been through.

I try to fix myself. I do anything I can to make myself happy and/or feel better. I watch my favorite movies. I sing my favorite songs which have upbeat tones and amazing instrumental sounds. I try to plan positive things for the future such as going shopping or maybe going on a road trip one day. I try to plan how I would like to decorate my house and how many puppies I’ll adopt. There are so many positive outlooks you can make on life.

I wanted to share a little part of my story in hopes that I can help someone. Anyone. Everyone deserves happiness and it breaks my heart knowing so many people out there feel the exact same way as I do. Just know that things will get better in life. There is a plan for you and your time will come to shine brighter than ever before. Yes, depression will try to beat you down and some days it may win. But you are strong. You are independent. You are creative. And beautiful. You can do anything you want and become anyone you want to be.