The Relentless

Everyday, we take so much for granted. Every sunrise, every sunset, every rain drop. Then one day, everything we knew simply ceases to exist. We all think that we have enough time to say, “I love you”, “good morning”, or “goodbye,” but there isn’t enough time. For most of us, we go throughout our lifetimes without losing someone close and dear, there are those who who know the pain of losing the ones who meant the world to them.

Everyone shows empathy towards the ones whom have dealt with a loss. From experience, they try too hard to understand the emptiness that consumes that person. Simple phrases, such as “ it will get better with time” or “you just have to move on,” seems like the right thing to say, but in reality it intensifies the emptiness and fear that consumes us.

There is a daily battle with our fears that we will forget the one we lost. We try to hold on to the memories that make them real, even though they’re not around. The constant questions, “will I forget their voice, their touch, their laugh or smile” eats at our consciousness. “How do I start over” beats us up. Where we once knew the answers to any question threw at us, these questions bring us to our knees.

Psychologist say that there is no definitive amount of time it takes to stop grieving, to find a new “norm” in life. But what most don’t understand is that grieving is not a form of sadness. It is a form of depression. Not something that is easily put aside. Everyday there are constant reminders of the memories that haunt us; whether it is a song, a smell, or a place that can set the unrelenting tears from falling. Many nights we lay awake, thinking about if that person can see and hear us. We wonder if they still love us or if we will see them again? We wonder if that person will forgive us for moving on.

But amongst these endless torments that embellish us, we do find the strength to make it through each day. Finding a new breath, a new heartbeat, a new pace. There is no cure for the pain that is locked away, we do learn to bear it and when it does come to the surface we try to understand it. We will never forget, we will never be whole; but somewhere along the way we use what that person has taught us and we find our “norm.”

The only thing we can say for definite is that we learn to live again, but we never forget what we had lived. And no matter the amount of time that separates them from us, that love stays eternal within our souls.