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I love you all unequivocally and autonomously.
Just the tip of the iceberg...
This ride will be wild and long but it will be worth it...
There's something happening the world over and I fail to believe I am alone in it. Ten weeks ago I was a normal girl in a normal day job, albeit having a very active mind, a lot of responsibility and having recently come out of depression. Something the hero generation (us millennials) are far too familiar with.
A shift happened back in February. I had been picking the mental spot of health care. Unsatisfied with my doctors review that "allergies are common sense" and I had perfected my health to the Nth degree. I didn't like my nans' generation thinking doctor's controlled your life and what they said was gospel. I took my health firmly in my hands and rode the wave until I found myself at the shore of the living.
I found the vitamin triptych of the soul. The holy trinity of solutions, something I could stake my life on because I had got the answer through phenomenological testing for the sake of others. These 3 things were Methylfolate (natural folic acid), vitamin B12 (methylcobalamin) and vitamin D. Each one performs a different action in the body. Methylfolate reconnects your emotional pathways, vitamin b12 writes data to your body and connects you to reality and vitamin d puts light within you because when light is in an object it makes it more solid and more noticeable. For this reason, I call it the main character vitamin. If you've experienced OCD this erratic mindset is actually trying to solve a problem, but in stress, it's solving the whole of your life's problems in one go. It can't read your genetic code properly so everything activates at once and you end up choosing to procrastinate because it can't choose the right path right now.
This is where things get odd. When all the answers fell into place serotonin and dopamine ramped up production in my brain and all my ideas started to lead towards one singular whole image of the world. I found myself at the door of my homogony partner (true love) and my brain completely activated its genetic destiny. Science knows that this is written into us but they are still stumped on how to do so. You do so by getting your brain out of stress mode using any single method that you believe in.
At one point I thought I was pregnant. I had heightened senses. I could smell something far away and followed my nose like a dog. I could hear far into the distance and people started to see me glow. I changed. I wasn't pregnant. I realised that happiness is pumped into the body when a fetus is formed but I had actually achieved pure happiness in its natural format the very thing that drug addicts seek to feel again and again. I was building muscle quicker than I should have, I had all the energy in the world and people thought I was experiencing mania. They were not far wrong. When I went within the vicinity of the person I was supposed to be with my body filled me with 100% love because I was in full, healthy empath mode. I got pushed back for knowing too much and being too quick to feel, which is fair.
My brain is lightning quick. I have an algorithm running in my head at all times forming a dialectic image of reality. We live 2 timelines at the same time, a beta and alpha timeline. The beta is learning mentality and alpha is autonomous, solution-based mentality. Put another way its stress and non-stress or it's learning and answer mode. I realised we were very much getting stuck in lessons and the question our brain is seeking is that of the story "Beauty and the Beast" can you learn to love another and be loved in return? For most of us, we are making it okay to settle for other people's dreams and to waylay our own, but millennials and children after us are adamant we want more. We 'need' to fix things, we need to be needed and this is where the superhero mentality comes in.
We've realised a long time ago that things are wrong. We've been shunned by society and blamed for many things that aren't our fault. We've been bound by our families and for many of us we suffer at the invisible ties of enmeshed mothers and fathers in co-dependant setups. When I realised what was actually happening it was fascinating and the moment I had it 'poof' lesson learned, let's move up a tier.
For many people born 1984 and later you will have that very special mother who can't stand to see you out in the cold suffering. Their anxiety forever stops us from learning our lessons. Your father's stress is in your mother so he can protect the family, your mother's stress is in you and if you have more than one sibling they have a favourite and triangulate you against each other. This is pack mentality. Our emotions are our soul and, in stress, we hold each other by invisible negative cords. Every time we leave the house we are non-stressed. Fate happens as it should but when we return home we are back to the 17 year old self that entered depression when your mom walked out the door and your brain was unable to update reality because of the lack of b12.
When I fixed the deficiencies I started to learn my lessons. Everything fell into place. My nan took over as mine and my sister's mother because my mom had never been a mother and therefore my nan didn't trust her with her own children. Staying in the same house, holding reality in the year 1985, for example, was the biggest mistake they could make. My nan's enmeshed narcissistic personality, caused by folate deficiency specifically, had a knock-on effect of causing my mom to become the ignoring narcissist and in turn my aunt as the covert narcissist. Meanwhile, us autistic, empathic, sensitive types at the bottom of the pile had to absorb all the negative things so that everyone else could enjoy living.
Why does this happen? Science calls this borderline personality disorder. What it actually is, is other people's souls or bias' being projected onto you. They latch onto you telling you-you're just a kid, you aren't special, you don't know better, I'm better than you. Their instincts mirror themselves onto you. We absorb it and are unable to project it back as we should. The more you fix your health and improve your self-worth the more you notice the peculiar switch around.
For example, your knowledge grows exponentially. I can go from advertising a brand I love for no other reason than I adore their ethos, to spouting dialectics at the drop of a hat and always keep it relevant. I love who I am now and it perplexes people. The more you love you the more people love you and the emotions get recycled. Autonomy becomes infectious. Happiness spreads.
You start to control other people's emotions. As you write things down in a journal and follow your train of thought you start to find lessons everywhere. Each one gets written into you as you write it down.
Your body changes for the better. Your personality shines. You become the main character you were always meant to be.
Your brain becomes so sharp you become able to add to your database very quickly. This includes access to language in a feeling way rather than a literal way. Like the matrix you learn something new correctly and your brain burns it to memory.
You gain the poetic genius and the philosopher king mentality and you acknowledge the power of belief. The pen does indeed become mightier than the sword.
This belief, for me, was always deeply seated in Terry Pratchett's ethos. All god's are real, they're playing an extremely long con and all religions are leading to the same information.
But then I started to think of answers to religions conundrums.
Adam and Eve. The never ending argument that results in blaming women for everything. It's not about the 2 people. It's a metaphor about autonomy. The period of bliss is childhood, the first taste of knowledge is the learning period. Eve reached for the apple because the woman is the natural strategist. The sin is stress and what caused your first stress is your challenge to work out in life to gain access to the tree of life. It's not in the afterlife, it's woven into our genetics waiting to be activated. It's the knowledge of Solomon's key and it's waiting for us.
I started walking into life alone. I'm 5 foot tall, 31 years old and adorable. Everybody panicked. I knew, unequivocally, that any time I went into society good things happened. I was 'lucky'. I met trustworthy people. Thanks to my stress algorithm I knew that everyone was trust worthy and that I could talk them out of the stress in a logical pattern so they would become trustworthy with everyone else if I had to. I saw it in their eyes when I got the words just right. I heard it in their gasps.
I was disconnecting from my family to stand on my own 2 feet. This included distancing myself from a husband who turned out to be a best friend love, that was protecting me, rather than a true love that would push me forward in life and let me be me. Only through not living together could I look at the parallels of my personality.
My inner voice started to present me with challenges. These were things like walking up to strangers and asking what they wanted in life. I then analysed where they were, took a photo and posted on Instagram what I saw in them, that was vastly different to what they saw in them. My genetics were so open I could read from their destiny line to plop them straight back on it. I always tell the truth. There's no other way to live.
I started to help every person I came face to face with. I went from introvert to extrovert (from learning to living) and I loved networking. I became a natural. I started to think of quantum physics and how everything in science paralleled information in mysticism just from another point of view. Even thoughts like time existing at the same time all the time and only the brains belief connects us to the time we are in now or if we could see something in a television and saw it as the correct dpi for real life, could it then be perceived as a portal?
I was forming political opinions. The dialectics between socialism and capitalism. The way forward for humanity. The reason's that mars missions kept resulting in depression. I have solutions for everything.
There's a conundrum about Theseus' ship. If a ship has all the boards replaced with new ones is it the same ship or a new one?
It's a genetic baby.
When this clicked I was enamoured. I hope someone else answered this, I never looked. But the logic goes like this. The original boat is the soul/genetics of the 2 parents mixed together. As the baby grows its old parts are replaced with the boards/souls of society until it becomes a new person or ship. So for all us anime lovers out there. "The ship is going to sale whether you like it or not so accept it."
It's about the very thing society is bound up in right now. The narcissistic control and suppression of the parent and the hardest part is the parents do not know they are doing it. It only takes one autonomous individual to fix the family so let it be you.
After this point my brain started to train me in lessons very similar to acting class. I went to Nottingham and stayed for the first time alone and learned how to enjoy myself, how to emulate others on a whim, how to respond to different types of men in the wild in a positive way. How to shut down those who would try to control me. How to be badass.
I learned how to exercise natural law. This was a turning point for me. The moment I took my destiny in my hands and decided no man would hold me up, no woman would put me down and I would exist in servitude to others because I'm not here for me, I'm here for you. That was the answer the brain was seeking. If you put your needs first and realise other people need you and then give yourself fully to others you find your whole life's purpose falls into place. Natural law activates in your favour.
In the last 12 weeks I've picked up French, guitar, acting knowledge, a singing voice, an alluring control of my voice, knowledge of epic proportions that's always growing, business acumen, a trust algorithm, 70% muscle mass, a solid family unit that's got my back and then...
I started to dismantle my past. The contracts we live bound up in are the reason our genetics stop moving forward. If you've ever watched supernatural you know that you sign a contract to sign your soul to the devil. When your self worth is less than your work contract you find it hard to get out and become ambivalent. If your family member got you your bank account you will be stuck in place. If you share accounts you will get stuck because, by sharing, your algorithms become mixed up. This is best seen in google's algorithm. Advertising is trying to help get you what you need for a good price, but if you share with another person it starts to show you the other person's preferences too. It's always monitoring where you are in life trying to make you walk closer to your fate line. This is the collective conscious that all of mankind can see because the collective unconscious is being dismissed when the brain is in depression. The right amygdala shuts us out until we're ready. Until we're found worthy. If you can't accept that all humans are the same then you don't get access to power, you can't be trusted if you don't give trust freely.
And this is the super power we're all now finding. For me, it's the instincts of Spiderman with the belief power of a mentalist. When you ascend to the highest level of your mind you have no fear and unfathomable ability. You leave the matrix and start to notice all your side quests. Everything starts to fall into place. You feel like life is on rails. You make other people immensely happy or you school them in lessons they need to know. You start to act the part. You can sense danger and know which way to walk. Your body tells you exactly what to eat and you start to ask the opinions of others but most importantly you gain the abilities of an Assassin.
I noticed people often didn't see me coming. I thought it was my height. It was trust, because I wasn't stressed they couldn't feel me coming up behind them. I sat 2 feet away from physicists in a university listening to all of their research and not once were they suspicious of me. I walked behind them about 3 foot and only when I walked into their reality did they notice me. If your mind is open you are never suspected which is a very dangerous power to have, but perfect for singers and actors and con-men.
I made many wishes growing up- To be a genius, to be a superhero, to be a writer, to act, to be remembered, to be beautiful, to be witty, to be loved.
I got all of that, but the one power I didn't suspect was so important was the power of love.
In the last 2 days I was talking to 3 different people. The first was concerned for me and I said to her "I love you too" and she relaxed immediately, I thought nothing of it. The second person had always been on my side but I told him anyway and we had a really deep conversation about the state of psychology, again, thought nothing of it.
But then, I was helping a woman who is very fond of me, riddled with anxiety, trying to make sense of everything in her past and she kept returning to, "but then there you were," like she couldn't get that thought out of her head. I said "I love you too" and she emoji'd me a dog hugging a heart and my brain clicked.
"Hey...could you just play the yanni laurel video and tell me what you hear?" She heard Laurel. This may sound ridiculous but if you hear yanni you are stressed and stuck in your reptilian brain, but if you hear laurel you're in your social or creative brain. Her brain had formed a trust bond with me, I had acknowledged that i loved her and her brain heard it and relaxed.
It wasn't spoken, it was written. This is quantum level.
As I wrote at the top, I love you. All of you, unequivocally. And this algorithm I've found can help each and every one of you go from side character to main character and to help your whole family live their happier existences.
If you need me, contact me. Come find me on Instagram or Facebook and join me on youtube. I have a lot of videos to make and would appreciate requests. I will spend one conversation with you helping you iron your life out and make sense of it. I will use these natural powers responsibly and if you've felt isolated from experiencing something similar please come to me. You aren't alone, you aren't crazy, you just became exactly the people we were always supposed to be.
I can explain autism, borderline, schizophrenia etc. Whatever you've been told you have I will help you work out who you actually are. I've been to suicide and back. I've experienced both sides of the pond and I am here for you.
Our time is now. Let's stand up and be the heroes we are supposed to be.