​The Value of Life from the Perspective of Mental Health...

The term "mentally unwell" appears to be taboo within the Asian community, however I am sure there are many other communities in which mental health is considered to be something that is unspoken of publicly. For a while now, my frustrations around the issue of mental health within the community have increased due to the fact that there is very little support to those who require it.

Those who know me personally would be aware that I have an intimate relationship with mental health, having grown up in an environment where everyone that grew up with me was suffering from some form of psychological issue.

I can't say I had a "normal" childhood. I remember a sibling hanging out the window when I was under 10 years of age. I remember witnessing plenty of lashing out from around 7/8 years of age up until this day, siblings running away from home, siblings attacking my parents, attacking me, and so much more. I remember a lot of blood throughout the lashing out phases. I remember the numerous times we had to get the police involved when things really escalated. There was very rarely a "normal" phase and I remember things being good when they were calm, however shortlived they were.

Shortly after my father passed, I felt a huge sense of responsibility upon myself when my mother delved into depression. I remember during the times where one of my siblings was going through a relapse phase I would sometimes cry myself to sleep whilst feeling scared and feeling disappointment, as though to blame the one person who was there to protect me had left me all alone. I remember searching for peace through watching random cheesy movies and imagining the hero in the movie to be someone that might rescue me one day. I was 14 at the time when I began taking time off school just to help around the house more and that's how I gradually became more and more aware of the mental health issues within the family and realised how we weren't a "normal" family. I always felt a sense of degradation during family gatherings or being around other family members, where I was always too embarrassed to talk about my family and the things that were happening at home. I began to understand the lack of support my family was given in regards to their mental health, be it with the doctors, the community, the extended family and friends. Gradually, it became clear to me exactly how unspoken mental health really was.

My siblings did not get any proper support from mental health clinics up until I was around 13 years of age. I remember my sister being institutionalised for a little while and after that things began to look up. My brother was also institutionalised a few years later and was receiving ongoing medication despite having a few relapses on the way.

My sister's treatment went well up until 9 years later, before she began to relapse due to a change of medication. I was pregnant at the time of having my sister institutionalised again and I remember the constant struggle of the lack of support I was receiving from my family as well as from professionals too. At the time that she relapsed, my niece had recently been born in the same household, which meant my niece was in the midst of danger whilst living with a relapsing mental health patient. On more than one occasion, she attempted to attack my niece who was only a couple of weeks old at the time. We were constantly on edge, trying to protect the little one and anticipating the next time she would lash out. It was not a safe environment for a new mum or her newborn, let alone for anyone else in the house. It took weeks before professionals decided to take action. I remember being on the phone for days, sometimes being put on hold, sometimes being transferred to another department, being told I should call 999 if I need to and that the Mental Health Crisis team do not deal with aggressive behaviour. One day, I resorted to calling the police who were unable to take action stating they "cannot touch her in her own home as her home is supposed to be her place of safety." The police also said that it seemed like the mental health team were fobbing me off on emergency services as they don't know how to handle the situation. The police then got the paramedics involved who also said they cannot take her to be assessed without her permission, yet they could see she was in no fit state to make decisions. Whilst the paramedics and police were there, she attempted to take an overdose, yet they could only suggest I continue calling the mental health team until they give me a proper response. The situation was getting out of hand rapidly. I continued to call the crisis team until they agreed to assess her at home. Initially, they refused to have her sectioned after seeing that she had calmed down during their visit, however not long after they left she became agitated and unwell again. They assessed her a couple more times before agreeing to have her sectioned for a small period of time and were very unstable about how long they would keep her due to the amount of beds they have available. They had to transfer her to a city so far away from us due to the lack of beds that we struggled to visit her often. She was hospitalised for a couple of weeks before being discharged once again with no follow up support.

She has recently relapsed once again and despite being through this situation many times before, I am stuck in the same loophole where I am being passed on from one department to another in the hope that she will not be their problem. Again I have been told to call 999 if I feel the need to, despite knowing that they will tell me that there is nothing they can do as they do not have the authority. She has become so unstable that she has begun to target my child, as well as hallucinating and sometimes being in a catatonic state. It is so infuriating how the mental health department is so difficult to work around. It seems to me that they are unable to work out themselves the steps that they need to take if she relapses again. It upsets me how they never know how to support us during this difficult time. A nurse from her clinic spoke to her after we had reported her behaviour and stated that she seems fine to them, therefore no action will be taken. It seems as though they had completely undermined all the behaviours we had reported, almost as though we were making them up, just so they would not need to take time out to assess her or even give her a bed. It is unfortunate how there is a household filled with people suffering from mental health illness, yet they are still unable to provide the appropriate support, such as a care co-ordinator to visit the home regularly, or to be able to support with activities.

I feel that there is a sense of diffusion of responsibility within this loophole that I am a part of, where the professionals are passing on the responsibility to one another instead of actually facing the situation head on. I've witnessed this diffusion of responsibility within my family too, not just the professionals. I feel that nobody really knows what to do with somebody who is suffering from a mental health illness, therefore the situation is best avoided. I had previously worked in a mental health hospital too and within that environment I witnessed how a lot of the time the situation with patients was easier to just avoid instead of properly working with them to support them towards their recovery. This attitude towards a mental health sufferer makes it seems as though we would consider their life to be less valuable than ours, purely because they have that lack of understanding that we have to lead a normal life. Why are people so fearful of someone who is suffering from a mental health illness? Why is it that people want to stay away from supporting that person or the individuals who are coping with looking after them? Why is it that we treat individuals suffering from a mental health illness as though they are social deviants? It is always difficult for us to remember that they never chose to be the way they are. They never chose to have a mental health issue, neither did they choose to live a difficult life, one which causes them to be stigmatised. It is infuriating to see how life has advanced in so many ways, where there are new forms of technology available and new ways to live, yet there seems to be little change in the way society perceives mental health.

There is little support for the individual having to live with someone suffering with a mental health illness as well as the person who is suffering too. What quality of life is it for the one watching their loved one suffer? What is their quality of life when they are taking beatings from their loved one and when they attempt to seek help, they are constantly turned down because "that is not our field/department"? I feel that there is no value of life for the one who is suffering from a mental health issue within their society, I feel that my sister has no value of life. She has lost almost 20 years to this mental health illness and it seems that the longer she lives, the further she is pushed back into the background where nobody needs to think of her. I feel that my niece, who is only 2 years of age, has no value in life either, even though she is currently impressionable and is now imitating every behaviour she sees. The lack of support that is so necessary for somebody in this situation is impacting upon others as well as the individual suffering from a mental health illness, causing others to also lose out on their quality of life.

I wrote this in the hope that those who may know somebody close to them suffering from a mental health illness or are suffering themselves will know that they are not alone. I am hoping my post might raise awareness on the lack of understanding within society towards mental health. I hope that we can all work together towards finding a solution on this issue and allow ourselves to be more supportive towards someone who is suffering from a mental health illness. A person who is in a vulnerable mental state may need a friend, or somebody to even let them know that they are there. I feel that this issue needs to be taken more seriously within the society so that we can work together to give people the support that they need. Everybody's life is valuable and we should do more as a community to let people know this. I would appreciate if those who read this post could share this to as many people as possible.