Things Every Parent Should Know about Mental Health

Being a parent used to be simple: you gave your child a shiny apple if they were good, and a trashing if they were bad, and everyone was blissfully unaware of the trauma we were causing.

Times have changed, however. Today, we're more in tune with our children's mental health needs than ever before. Much of this comes down to demand: the modern parent has to be aware of a range of possible conditions their child may develop.

In this article, I will outline some of the most important.

Remember that anything you read online is going to be a general guide. You should discuss any specific concerns with your doctor to ensure you receive an accurate and personal assessment.

Anxiety

Everyone becomes anxious from time to time. So, what makes it clinical? There is no clear line, but when it becomes so bad that it affects day-to-day life, it becomes acute anxiety. For children, it can be especially relevant to their attendance and performance in school.

Here is what the NHS recommends you look out for:

• Finding it hard to concentrate
• Not sleeping, or waking in the night with bad dreams
• Not eating properly
• Quickly getting angry or irritable, and being out of control during outbursts
• Constantly worrying or having negative thoughts
• Feeling tense and fidgety, or using the toilet often
• Always crying
• Being clingy
• Complaining of tummy aches and feeling unwell

Worfolk Anxiety has a guide to how you can help your child's anxiety.

Depression

Depression is defined as persistent low mood. It typically develops later in life, with the peak being people in the 50s and 60s. It affects children too, but typically not until they reach their teenage years.

Here is what the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry recommends you look out for:

• Feeling or appearing depressed, sad, tearful or irritable
• Decreased interest in or pleasure from activities, which may lead to withdrawal from friends or after-school activities
• Change in appetite, with associated weight
• Major changes in sleeping patterns, such as sleeping much more or less than normal
• Appearing to be physically sped up or slowed down
• Increase in tiredness and fatigue, or decrease in energy
• Feeling worthless or guilty
• Difficulty thinking or concentrating, which may correlate with worsening school performance
• Thoughts or expressions of suicide or self-destructive behaviour

Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are broadly defined as having an atypical relationship with food. In practice, there are three main times: anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating. In this article, I will ignore the latter as this tends to affect people in later life.

For anorexia and bulimia, these usually develop in mid to late teens. Both include a fear of putting weight on. With anorexia, this is achieved by restricting food intake while for bulimia, it can involve a cycle of binge eating and purging (making yourself vomit or using laxatives).

Here is what the eating disorder charity Beat recommend looking out for:

• Saying they have eaten earlier or will eat later, or that they have eaten more than they have
• Counting the calories in food excessively
• Missing meals (fasting)
• Avoiding eating with other people
• Fear of fatness or pursuit of thinness
• Weight loss
• Irregular periods, or periods stopping altogether
• Stomach pains

Self-Harm

Self-harm is defined as deliberately inflecting damage or injuries on your body. Self-harm may include cutting or burning your skin, hitting yourself, misusing drugs and alcohol, and starving yourself. It is typically used as a coping mechanism to deal with overwhelming emotions.

Here is what the children's charity NSPCC recommends you look out for:

• Unexplained cuts, bruises or burns
• Bald patches from pulling out hair
• Drinking or taking drugs

And here is what the NHS recommends you look out for:

• Keeping themselves fully covered at all times, even in hot weather
• Self-loathing and expressing a wish to punish themselves
• Changes in eating habits or being secretive about eating, and any unusual weight loss or weight gain

What to Do to Prevent Them

Anxiety and depression can be a result of an unstable home life. And eating disorders and self-harm can be a result of children trying to bring some element of control into a life that they feel is otherwise out of their hands.

Therefore, a stable home life where they are supported and loved is a great basis for avoiding future problems.

However, there are many other risk factors, too. Therefore, if you find your child does develop a problem, you should not blame yourself. Genetics, environment, peer group, life experiences and just sheer luck all play a part.

What to Do If You Spot Them

If you have concerns, the first step is to talk to your child about them. They may want help and be eager to discuss it, or at least appreciate the opportunity to share their burdens with someone they know loves and cares for them.

The second step would be to talk to your doctor. Ideally, this would be a three-way conversation between you, your child and your GP.

If your child is young, you may be able to arrange treatment on their behalf. Unfortunately, the older they get, the more difficult it becomes to do anything without their consent. This makes things especially tricky with disorders such as anorexia where one of the symptoms is refusing to accept you have an illness.

If you feel like you need some guidance, or merely someone to listen to you, there are a range of charities that specialise in young people's mental health, specific disorders, or listening services, such as Samaritans.

Summary

Navigating the challenges of parenthood are never easy but have become especially challenging with the rising focus on mental health.

Luckily, providing a stable and loving home life can help reduce the chances of problems developing and builds good communication channels to allow you to intervene if any illness does appear.

Keeping an eye out for symptoms of illness can allow you to spot and tackle it early which greatly increases the chance of recovery.