Things You Should Know Before Loving a Person Riddled with Depression *Must Read*

Loving anyone can entail moments of unbridled passion as well as a sweeping to the lowest of lows. One thing is for sure, though, love is hard. Many of us go through life craving such a sensation to course through our empty veins. It’s lonely. Being loveless can be colder than the bitterest of winters. It sends a chill down a spine that aches to the feel the warmth of any fingertip in sight. Love is crazy. It almost makes no sense. However it makes all the sense in the world.

Passion is medicinal. It’s a curative for the soul. When we feel broken by the world, we reach to the ones who love us. We reach to the man or the woman who built our tower of trust and loyalty. What happens when the hardest part is building that tower with a solid foundation?

Loving a trauma survivor or a person with depression is hard. It’s tough work. Sometimes you find yourself wondering if it’s too much for you. It can be. Finding it within you to love someone who can barely love themselves is laborious. Maybe you still see the good in them and you want to fight for it. Sometimes it all becomes too much and you just can’t.

There are a few things that you need to know when diving into a new relationship that is riddled with trauma.

Trauma survivors are as fragile as they come.

This is especially true during the beginning stages of recovery. There are many ways that trauma can occur but in the end it all has a similar result. The survivor feels a sense of helplessness and hopelessness all in the same. It's as if a hole has been drilled into their heart and the more blood that oozes the darker and darker they feel. Now imagine there is no bandage, band-aid, or tourniquet in the whole world that can stop the bleeding. That is how trauma feels to the souls that took it in without wanting to. Patience is the key. A person with no patience has no business trying to love a person who had no patience for themselves.

Overwhelming precautions only give us peace of mind.

Being a trauma survivor and having depression myself I know this one to be true. I'm 1287 percent afraid of being hurt again. Everything is analyzed twice over because the way I see it anyone can be a threat to my already damaged state of mind. Trauma survivors need to make sure that they are protecting themselves almost second to second. Defensiveness is not a beast. It's merely a means of survival. That's where patience comes in again. If you haven't the slightest then this isn't the type of relationship you should take on.

Fear is around every corner.

There comes a point where it is harder than ever to trust anyone. We question if anyone is to be trusted. Trauma makes us look sideways at any little thing and make rash decisions accordingly. We steadily fight for survival even when the hardest thing in the world is trusting others. We fear that anyone in this world could hurt us and not blink twice. As sad as it is, it is also the brutal truth. We fear because have been through things that some can't understand. We need support in every area of the relationship to feel an ounce of trust. Sitting inside ourselves hurts us. But we will do anything in out power to never experience trauma again.

There is no quick fix.

Dealing with something that has thrown us into depression is hard. We know that it is hard for you too but there is no quick fix to make us happier individuals. We have good days, bad days, and some days are just okay. However, depression is a mental illness. Depression can't be swept under the rug even if we ourselves try to. It's hard. We need your positive light and compassion through it all but know that we don't mean to be Debby Downers. Depression can't be fixed overnight. Bear with us during our road to more frequent happiness.

We need you.

Being alone to remember the loneliness we felt after the trauma or throughout our unwavering depression is probably the hardest thing to deal with. We face so many obstacles that it seems impossible to overcome. Before you decide to love us make sure that you mean it because people who have survived trauma deal with far more than people who haven't would ever know. It will be difficult. We will lose our tempers, break down, and the smallest things deflate us but we need you and we love you and that's fact.

Conclusion

This journey is a difficult one. We don't expect people to want to take on the challenge but we so appreciate when the ones who love us do. We may feel unloved some days but your presence is partial to our willingness to open. We need time to understand you and for you to accept us as we have you. We love you and your role in loving us when we barely love ourselves. Know that it is not your obligation to fix a depressed person's life, know your limits, and know that if you want that challenge you better mean it.

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