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Three Crazy Things You Experience With Junkies

Misadventures with Roommates

Adventures can be thrilling, until they’re terrifying. For instance, take the undertaking of sharing your space with a junkie. Back that up, you are sharing your house with a friendly lady that turns out to be a psychotic addict. Some of you have been there. For those of you that have escaped the destruction and the PTSD, Hollywood has been alerting you for years. You can’t say that they didn’t warn you. You might dismiss Tinsel Town as delusional fantasy, but they know junkies.

In retrospection, I should have known that Ally was troubled. In the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Raoul Duke fantasizes about getting chased by bats while racing across the Nevada desert. Duke is traveling with his equally gonzo friend Dr. Gonzo to a cover a motorcycle race. Their pranks along the way end up terrorizing a hitchhiker and many more hotel staff.

You ought to care the next time you meet a nice guy or girl. While everyone has their eccentricities, dismiss delusions at your peril. On the first night, I met Ally she was convinced that the thermostat, intercom, phone, and even I was spying on her. At first, I ignored it, she had clearly had a rough night after having been caught in a fight. Ally also masked her paranoia in the smokescreen of a Christian devotee. I still don’t know to this day if her devotion was genuine or a well-spoken lie.

That reminds me, in 28 Days, Gwen Cummings is a belligerent drunk. She arrives late at her sister’s Lily’s wedding, delivers a rambling speech, and smashes the cake, then the wedding, and finally her sister’s limousine. Predictably Gwen is arrested, and given the choice of 28 days in jail or rehab. 

You guessed it; she ends up in rehab. Her obnoxious behavior continuous and she is nearly evicted from rehab. Chasing a high, Gwen falls from a window injuring herself. The following morning Gwen asks the director for a second chance.

You have not witnessed obnoxious behavior until you’ve been locked out of your apartment late at night. Ally had decided to brace the door from the inside with a chain when I returned from work. When I asked her to open the door, at first she ignored me. 

Then after a few minutes of excruciating silence, I began to slam on the door. Still more silence, but I could clearly see her through the door gap to my living room. Ally was deliberately ignoring me. Angry, I slammed on the door and molested the chain fruitlessly. She told me go away. Exasperated, I finally threatened to call the police. Finally, Ally relented and opened the door.

In Requiem for a Dream, Marion Silver is a deeply in love teenager with dreams of launching a fashion line with her boyfriend Harry. Her boyfriend is an ambitious drug dealer and occasional thief of his mother Sara’s television. 

Sara is lonely and retired with dreams of stardom. No one gets what he or she wants, once they start using. Harry uses heroin until his infected arm is amputated. Sara develops amphetamine addiction in a misguided weight loss attempt. Marion might have ended up the worst. When Harry is hospitalized and his friend imprisoned, she loses her supply. Desperate for a hit, Marion sells sex to a pimp and his humiliated at a party as the event whore.

After the disrespect that night, it was time for my guest to go. Ally must have known that too. You’d be surprised how quickly a stoner can rediscover reality, for the reason that I was suddenly her beloved friend. For the first and only time, she wanted to give me a gift. She started with the simple things, first giving me an incomplete dart set. Then things quickly got more interesting. 

Ally decided to start dancing, and then her clothes slowly began to fall off. It was sort of like receiving a striptease by Hayley Quinn with some of the sexiness and all of the crazy. Sometimes it can hard to decide if you should embrace the lady or run for your life. 

In the end, I didn’t have too. By the time she was topless, her boyfriend arrived and she ran away. Ally moved out entirely soon afterward because it turns out that junkies will also go psycho on your neighbors.

Did I write that or just thought I did?

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