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To My Friend with Anxiety

And Anyone Else Who Struggles

By Sarah LeBlancPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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Fellow human beings, let's talk about anxiety. Let's talk about anxiety because just this week I was talking to a friend about her struggles; how scared she was and how weak she was feeling because of it.

Today, I walked into my Mental Health First Aid Course and introduced myself while trying not to have a panic attack. Why was I trying to not have a panic attack? Because I had just rushed over from the bathroom for the millionth time and I didn't want to miss introducing myself. I knew we would be talking about ourselves and I had been playing in my mind what I would say. I was out of breath while speaking and it sounded like I was going to cry. So, while discussing my BPD and why I was here, I told them I wasn't going to cry, I was just out of breath and downhill it went from there. The panic picked up, my mouth went as dry as the Sahara desert and the verbal vomit started.

For those who don't know, verbal vomit for me happens when I'm in a panic and I just keep talking and talking and making no sense and it goes on and on the hole gets deeper. I wanted to talk about how I had a blog following for book reviews about mental health books but I'm currently moving it over to be a mental health blog but all I got out of my mouth was, "I'm big on Twitter." WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, BRAIN? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? I'm not BIG on Twitter. Those are not the words I practiced in my mind, those are never would I would say, ever. (I'm not big. I don't even get it. It just poured out.)

I eventually stopped this mash of horrid things happening and they moved on. But not before pointing out to them I was panicking and telling them I was okay because that's how this chick rolls.

But that's not the end of it. Oh, no.

It follows me all day. It gets into everything. It makes me question if I'm good enough to go back to school, if I can handle things like this on a day to day basis. It's a worm that wiggles its way into my brain and does damage all day long because of one mix-up. It makes me wonder if the three university girls across from me who are whispering and writing notes between each other while we're taking this course (which, now that I am back on solid ground, really bothers me. It's distracting in general. Why do this doing a course?) are saying things about the big blunder that just happened from the stay-at-home mom who just shared her big mental health disorder, who clearly has an anxiety disorder.

SO TO YOU, dear friend who had anxiety issues earlier this week and is struggling, or to anyone else who is scared or feeling weak and alone: you're far from alone in your feelings. It happens to more people than you know. It hits when you least expect it. You can learn to cope and handle these situations and if you ever want to know how to get information or help, send me a message. It's scary and it sucks but it does get better.

You got this.

anxiety
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About the Creator

Sarah LeBlanc

Mental Health Advocate Raising awareness of Mental Health Disorders, Future Student of Psychology. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder. I speak loudly about my experiences to end Mental Health Stigma.

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