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Tomorrow Needs You!

Why NEVER to consider suicide. Includes one unusual act that changed my friend's mind about ever committing it.

By Chuck HinsonPublished 5 years ago 7 min read
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Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be alone in an empty room, with no doors or windows and all the walls closing in on you slowly? Well, that's what millions of bipolar patients are feeling, even as I write this.

But instead of physically, it's happening in our minds, our emotions and spirits. Since we feel there's no way out of our pain and if we're left untreated, that feeling can definitely lead to attempted suicide. According to the NCBI (National Center for Biotechnology Information), 50 percent of bipolar victims either contemplate or attempt killing themselves at some time during their lives. Without help, we find ourselves convinced that our situation is endless and our lives worthless.

About two years ago, I met up with a bipolar friend of mine whose counselor showed him a unique way to handle his suicidal thoughts. He said that, about a month earlier, his girlfriend (whom he'd dated for over a year) suddenly broke up with him and he felt like he'd caused it to happen. The memories of her and the mental pressure he felt by blaming himself made him feel like a total failure and that he'd be better off dead. But, before he took that final, tragic step, he tried one last thing: He went to our local crisis center and divulged everything before his counselor.Andy (the counselor), in turn, referred Dave to the staff psychiatrist, who checked his medications. Thanks to those sessions, he decided not to commit suicide. Today, and with the help of both Andy and his psychiatrist, Dave takes his meds on time, focuses on the reality of today, and builds on his confidence and self-worth.

What caused the change? Here's what happened:

After talking with Dave about his suicidal thoughts, Andy paused, told him to close his eyes, and, when he'd done so, quickly reached out and pinched him on the arm! Naturally, my friend recoiled and yelled, "OWWW! Why in hell did you do that?"

He just smiled and replied, "Oh, I just wanted to show you the phases you've been going through:

First, the painful situation—in this case, my pinching you; in your case, the loss of Maureen. I had you close your eyes so, like your loss, you didn't see it coming." Dave was rubbing his arm as the counselor continued.

"Secondly, though, you reacted to it, here and now, and your first instinct was to rub it to take away the pain. In fact, you're doing the same thing right now with your feelings."

"But the third and fourth parts—well, I'll show you in just a few minutes." They continued their session and, just before Dave left, he was asked, "By the way, how's your arm feeling?" Of course, by then the pain had subsided—and my friend told him so.

"There's your third part, then! You see, every emotional thing we've gone through in life is past us now and will stay that way. And we DO feel better in time. That goes for everyone, whether we're bipolar or not. It might be a few minutes or a few weeks, but we DO get over them! Now, suppose that, instead of rubbing your arm and waiting, you decided to cut off your arm. Would you feel better then?" Dave winced and snickered, "Of course not!"

"Then why would you want to kill yourself when, eventually, you'll feel better?"

My friend started walking out the door when he stopped, turned around, and asked, "Andy, you said there was a fourth part. What is it?" His counselor looked at him with a smile, "The fourth? We just did it." As Dave looked puzzled, Andy continued.

"It's communicating. Talking about your problem with someone who cares and can help is a big step forward in winning over depression. And you know I'll always have the door open for you!"

So the lesson of the pinched skin, coupled with good counseling and taking your medication properly and on time, can help us a lot here. One thing's for sure: Suicide is NOT the way out!

Here's how another lady defeated her suicidal ideation:

"What stopped me from moving forward was my golden retriever, Shadow, who stayed by my side and loved me for me. I wasn’t sure what would happen to him if I was gone. Who would take care of him? How long before someone found me and him? Would he be hungry, need to go out? I also believe in God and couldn’t come to terms with what would happen to my soul if I did this to myself."

Another thing that many of us feel during a depressive stage is claustrophobia (if you remember, my friend Dave had that). It can actually push us closer to the brink of suicide by stressing an "aloneness." But whenever we feel that the "room's closing in on" us or "there's no hope," we can try this:

Go outside and take a brisk walk, even if it's just around the backyard or down the street. (Remember, we need make it brisk, not sluggish! And, personally, I'd suggest doing it just after daybreak, when the air is fresh and everything looks new.) You see, after we're outside for a little while, our body relaxes and we start to enjoy the fresh air and scenery. And, shortly, our brains start to release endorphins—hormones that lift our spirits and helps us feel a little better about everything—so we're more able to deal with whatever's got us down.

It's really not a new idea, you know—our moms knew about it years ago.

For example: When my brothers and I were kids, we'd occasionally get into a tussle and break something. Before we knew it, our mama would take the hickory switch to our hides while chanting: “Don't-you-ever-let-me-see-you-do-that-again!” Then she'd end it by telling us, “Now, y'all go on outside and think about what you've done!” You see, she knew being outside would help us think more clearly and calm us down.

It would also give our backsides time to heal...

Now, there may be times when we feel like our backs are against the wall and nothing works for us. If we get to that point of desperation, we need to call a crisis center or helpline immediately.

Remember, there's no shame or fear when calling them—everything is kept totally confidential. (Incidentally, if we ever feel like that, remember that the "wall" we're up against is the same one we can push against and move forward once again! The dynamics are the same as if it were a literal, physical wall.)

Before we place that call, we should have something to write on (even index cards will do!) and a pen or two. As we talk with the counselor, we'll want to make notes so we can review them when we're off the phone.

Think about it for a moment: We've all felt like we've been "pushed against the wall" at one time or another (everyone, whether they have this disorder or not!). It may be hard to remember the exact date, time and place that it happened (though we may remember the cause), but, whatever it was, it didn't stick around.

Look at us today: alive and in reasonable health! We survived it intact and even overcame it to make it to where we are today.

You see, the "hurting" never lasts—we do recover from it. Nobody—I mean, nobody—feels depressed 100% percent of the time.

So, how long will it take before we start feeling better? It's really hard to say, but I guarantee that whatever's got us down will begin to ease up if we just work at it with our counselors, caring friends, and medications!Just remember: The amount of time it takes to get through our suicidal depression depends on how badly we want to defeat it—and the steps (counseling, psychologist, studying, even the article you just read) we're willing to take to do so!

You see, despite what you might think right now, TOMORROW NEEDS YOU!!

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About the Creator

Chuck Hinson

Chuck Hinson is a freelance writer, entertainment publicist, blogger and record promoter.

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