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Anxiety has a way of making you a bit different from the typical person. When you've got anxiety, you might need a little more reassurance than they average person. You might get easily startled by loud noises, or at times, might just need to take a break from the world.
If you're a girl with anxiety like I am, you already know that anxiety also affects the way that you show love to those you care about. Truth be told, it takes a special kind of person to be with a girl who has severe anxiety.
There are many unique (and often endearing) ways girls with anxiety show their affection. Here's what to expect when you're dating a girl who's been diagnosed.
Trust is something you'll have to earn.
Anxiety is like that one Negative Nancy friend who has to throw doubt in the air, even when things really do seem okay. Even when we have valid proof that we're going to be okay and that the person we like wants to be with us, we tend to assume the worst.
The biggest issue is trust, and to a point, one of the ways girls with anxiety show affection is their guarded nature. If you manage to earn an anxious girl's trust, it's important to realize how much of a huge step that is. It's huge.
They get overprotective, really quick.
Whether it's worrying about you and (sometimes repeatedly) calling you to make sure you make it home safe, or just getting super icy with girls who might be interested in you, girls who have anxiety tend to have a hyper-protective streak to them.
Don't be surprised if they become a bit of a "jealous girlfriend" trope at times. It's them being anxious that you will leave them or cheat on them that makes them act that way.
Love will take a while to establish.
No, really, it will. Anxious girls tend to be terrified of getting their hearts broken. Heartbreak hurts girls who have anxiety harder than a typical person would—and that means they need to ease into things fairly slowly compared to others.
It may take a while, but it's honestly worth it. We're delicate like that.
If we're asking for reassurance, it's because we trust you and care what you think.
One of the most obvious ways girls with anxiety show affection is when they ask partners for reassurance. Anxiety already tends to make people feel like they are on edge, and it makes you want to ask people to tell you that everything is okay—even when it's clear it's okay.
When we approach people for reassurance, it's often because we like them and trust them. Hearing reassurance from the right person will make anyone feel like a million bucks, which is why anxiety sufferers tend to look to partners for a positive nudge.
Anxiety feels like a scary wet blanket. All we're asking is for someone to hug us and take that wet blanket away.
We might end up getting scared about the future—and either overtalk it or ignore conversations about it altogether.
Trying to make a future together with a girl who has anxiety will not always be easy to do. If you are really the one that a girl who suffers from this disorder wants to be with, she may talk nonstop about what you will need to do together and how to do it.
One of the subtler ways girls with anxiety show affection, though, is when they clam up about the future. The reason why is because they may be scared to hear that you don't want to see them the same way that they see you.
Sometimes, anxiety about relationships can result in girls pushing partners away.
Counterintuitive as it may be, one of the ways girls with anxiety show their affection is pushing partners away. Admittedly, this can be very hurtful and even destructive to the relationship—but if you're dating a girl who does this, it's important to understand what's going on.
The fact is that girls who push partners away often do so as a "preemptive strike" against you leaving them. In other words, they're so scared you're going to leave them that they may try to push you in that direction to prevent themselves from getting hurt.
Is this healthy? Not really, but it's a true side effect of anxiety. Or, perhaps more precisely, it's a side effect of anxiety's secret self-defense mechanism that tends to hurt more than help.
Fearing for you will be the norm.
Anxiety is one of the most pessimistic mental illnesses out there, which is why girls with anxiety often fear the worst in terms of everything. This can include side effects like worrying about the relationship, worrying about financial situations, worrying about whether you're safe, and even worrying about your daily commute.
In other words, a girl with anxiety will be very likely to fuss over you and be scared on your behalf. That attention and concern is how she shows she cares. It's anxiety at its finest, and to a point, can be one of the most endearing traits she has.
Hyper-attachment will also be a thing you may experience.
You might notice that a lot of the ways girls who have anxiety show their affection involve intense doting on their loved ones. If you're dating a girl who suffers from anxiety, don't be shocked if she gets a bit clingy from time to time.
Men and women with anxiety disorder tend to get clingy around people they care about, primarily because the people they care about tend to calm them down the most. If they get a bit needy, the best way to calm them down is to give them a hug and say you're there.
Spastic behavior is the norm on a first date.
People with anxiety, male or female, have a hard time kicking off a typical love life. First dates, therefore, are some of the most terrifying things that can happen for a typical anxiety sufferer. This can make them get nervous, klutzy, or even start rambling about silly stuff.
Calming them down and maintaining that you are interested in them is the best way to help them express their appreciation for you. A lot of the ways girls with anxiety show their affection differently is done because they get nervous and shy around people they like.
Though there are a lot of quirks, your relationship can be well worth it.
Girls with anxiety might love differently, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a bad thing. Sure, some of the ways girls with anxiety show their affection might be annoying but they often are the most loyal, caring partners you can ever get.