What Does the Therapist Say?

That Feeling in Your Chest—

I have been wanting to talk about this for some time and nothing but my own insecurities and fears have been holding me back. I'll often lay awake at night reviewing things that I've noticed which tend to go unnoticed by others who aren't experiencing the same things.

Mental Health.

Why isn't it talked about in schools more? University? Why is it avoided so much that merely the hint of it has people walking on egg-shells? Outside of those who are affected by it personally, no one cares to discuss it. Of course, that's human nature for the average person. Unless it affects them, they do not feel enough empathy to put themselves in a situation to discuss it. So I figured: I love writing, I study creative writing and English Literature at University...I may as well put my skills to work and begin talking about it more openly. The things I have noticed usually come about due to misunderstandings or lack of information.

This little segment will be one of many surrounding issues that I've noticed personally, experiences that I have been through, and general facts/information that I've received from my therapist. So for this segment's topic. I want to focus on anxiety vs. nerves.

One of the misconceptions I've received, particularly from family members or generational folk who tend to think that it's a thing you can "think" or "believe" away, is the drastic difference between being nervous and being anxious.

Now, I am by no means an expert, and there are things which may only apply to me or things I may be inaccurate about, but I will try my best to speak with clarity.

Anxiety is not just an enhanced version of nervousness. Nervousness comes about when the brain is faced with logical and rational fears. It also ends when those logical and rational fears have dissipated. A few simple examples (though not exclusive to just nervousness):

• Doing a presentation in front of a class
• Performing on stage
• Waiting for an important phone call from an interview you just did

All of these situations tend to bring about the stereotypical, romanticised "cute" butterflies in your stomach, perhaps even faintly sweaty palms. But Anxiety has a wide array of physical and mental manifestations because it relies on the irrational. Example: Being more anxious, tense or fidgety sitting on the front or back carriages of a tube. Why? Who the hell knows?

This isn't to mean it's okay to shoot down or disregard the causes or triggers of someone’s anxiety, because, to that person, those fears are very close to reality. Sometimes anxiety, though based on extreme situations, could occur because the situation HAS happened before. Though irrational, it is based on observational truth and thoughts of the person experiencing it.

Now, here is where I will speak from personal experience—anxiety, in the best terms I can put it in, is the feeling in my chest that is similar to a heavy weight but is also intangibly weightless. It doesn't make logical sense. I have only just come home from having a nice day out with some friends. I'm just getting ready for bed, but the moment my head touches the pillow, that feeling comes. It's slow and becomes more prominent. Somethings wrong. I don't know what, but something is wrong. I was fine and then at that moment, I wasn't. I can hear the blood rushing through my head, my heart feels like it's pounding a mile an hour, and my thoughts take a darker approach.

Maybe I did something wrong.

Remember that thing you said and the look on their faces? Think and analyse that for the next 4 hours.

It spirals from there.

Now, most people have another misconception that anxiety is only filled with panic attacks. For some that may be true, but as I mentioned, there are so many symptoms associated with it medically that many people tend to think of it more as a "physical" issue rather than mental.

Symptoms can go as follows (though are not restricted to):

• Sweating
• Pounding Heart
• Tensing up
• Headaches
• Upset Stomach
• Shaking/Trembling
• Insomnia

Looking at this list, it's easy to mistake these for the common flu or illness, which is why so many symptoms for those with minor anxiety tend to go hidden.

Anxiety is not something that can be "unlearned" or something you can become more comfortable with unless you have coping techniques or help from a professional. With nervousness, you could perform onstage multiple times before that "butterfly" feeling becomes a positive symbol for how excited you are to perform. Anxiety, on the other hand, is the mechanism of "fight or flight," but imagine that the lever is constantly switched to "flight." Constantly feeling like you are in danger or your life is being threatened in some way, even though nothing is ACTUALLY threatening you or your life. Anxiety can be the catalyst for a person avoiding a certain situation or event altogether. Changing physical actions. In my case, my irrational fears come from more specific circumstances, whilst nervousness can often be more general. Though, again, this depends on the person.

Anxiety also relies on consistency; knowing and predicting what comes next, because according to the brain, it's safer that way. See how it works? When I am placed in a situation, doing something I do not do regularly, I tend to avoid it. I'm fully aware of the constant reminders of what could go wrong, what could go poorly, and every possible outcome (even the ones that have less than 1% chance of happening) that could ruin the situation, either because of my own presence or others, and it feels so real to my brain. The brain thinks it should be avoided and so the body tends to follow.

It's ironically unpredictable for a mental illness that relies on predictability.

Also, if you’re like me where you feel that perhaps your too aware for it to be an actual thing affecting you; if you’re having the thoughts of "I know this is silly so if I do it anyway it’s my own doing," don't worry. I've been there and as scary as it can be. Sometimes it is real. Your feelings are valid. How you feel it affects you is valid. If you realise that you have these symptoms, then go to your GP (general practitioner) and explain to them your symptoms. Though self-diagnosis is looked down upon, I believe that recognizing the difference and the symptoms are the first steps to getting help and coping.

So, I'm going to stop rambling for now. The other segments will look more into techniques, more issues surrounding mental illness ,such as anxiety and also how environments/relationships can affect certain actions and judgements. I hope, at the very least, that this segment helps clarify, at least in some way, what the difference between them is, however simplified and basic it seems. My intention with these segments is to give help and understanding, so...

Stay safe.

R