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What I Learned after Withdrawing from School for a Semester

Taking a full medical withdrawal due to mental health issues may have been the best decision I ever made.

By Megan ClarkPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Credit: Pexels

It was March. I applied for graduation and was ready to order my cap and gown. I was counting down the days until May 18, the day of my commencement ceremony. My parents were excited, my boyfriend was proud, and I was freaking out.

I had been struggling with my mental health for years. When I first started at my university, I lived on campus. In a dorm, with a roommate, with friends, the whole nine. But I was beyond miserable. I was an anxious wreck: I couldn't keep any food down. Ya know the Freshman 15? Yeah, for me it was like the Freshman -30. Every ounce of food or drink I put into my body came right back out because my body was shutting down from daily fear.

So I moved back home. I was happier with my dog and my family around. For the next three years I would go between living at my parents' to living in apartments with my boyfriend. Things were fine; but I still wasn't happy.

March 9, 2018 will go down in history as My Rock Bottom. I was ready. I had a plan. I had it all set up. My mother came and took me away from my apartment, my boyfriend, my dog, and kept me safe for the weekend until we could go to the hospital.

March 12, 2018 I was admitted inpatient to a psychiatric hospital. You can read about my experiences with that here. I spent the next seven weeks at Sheppard Pratt Psychiatric Hospital. I spent eight days inpatient and the following six weeks in the Partial Hospitalization Program, learning how to cope in the real world.

Because of this absenteeism, I was forced to make a choice: Withdraw from my final semester of college, or work with my professors one-on-one to figure out a way for me to pass the semester despite missing more than half of the classes.

Best yet, I was forced to make this decision while I was still inpatient. I was supposed to be in a bubble, a safety ward, a place free from stress. But I had a choice to make.

After much deliberation and many, MANY phone calls with my dad, I decided to take a full medical withdrawal from the semester.

To say the least, I was heartbroken.

Today, I am back at school after a six-month sabbatical. I wouldn't say I'm thriving, but I'm certainly feeling better. I get to graduate in a few weeks and then I get to start my life with the New Year.

I learned so many important lessons during my time at the hospital. The most important being I am the most important person in my life. The only person I was letting down by withdrawing from the semester was me. And that was only because I put so much pressure on myself to graduate in four years.

Taking a few months off from school was just the re-charge I needed to get back on my feet. I am the most important person in my life. I tell that to myself every single day, and, as stupid as it sounds, it really helps adjust my outlook. When I'm just feeling so crappy and unmotivated, and I feel like I'm letting everyone around me down, I tell myself that I am the most important person in my life and that my mental health is more important than anything else.

I saved my own life by withdrawing from school. It took a long time for me to accept it and be okay with the decision, but it saved my life. Sometimes the tough decisions are the best ones.

recovery
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About the Creator

Megan Clark

I love reading, writing, and dogs. Oh, and Netflix.

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