What is the purpose of my existence?

What is the purpose of my existence?

This is one of the great philosophical questions of life. Why do I exist? What gives my life meaning? What is the point? We all seek an answer or provide our own response. We all find a reason for existing or we would not be reading this right now.

My purpose is not to sway you, to decide for you what the point of your life is. I merely wish to create an opinion of my own and allow that to be discussed. Not ridiculed or hated on, though. I realize that it's likely improbable based on the world that we live in, Where everything is bashed by internet trolls and people who wish to bring happiness to themselves by making other people feel bad. I want to bring my opinions to a format in which they are not just rotting in my own mind.

There is a likely hood that my thoughts will get washed away in the sea that is the internet. I hope, dear reader, that if you are reading this then hopefully however small it may be; my thoughts and yours will be somewhat related. If not there is always a chance to challenge and understand more about another human being who has other opinions on my own. If you're interested in that sort of thing.

I sat watching a Groundhog day-esque movie. I suppose it got to me, or I wouldn't be writing this now. I wonder, what is the true purpose of life? If I lived the same day over and over again how would I use it differently? What would I do if I could just live each day as it came, and even if nobody else was living it differently I would be. I suppose I wonder would I make the most of it, would I, if I could use that day to make everybody around me happier, would that bring me the fulfillment I need?

I ask it because, in all of these movies, the protagonist always seems somewhat selfish but becomes likable. They start off questionable, though of course, they are never the worst person in the world they are not the best either. Relatable? I am neither the best nor the worst, and yet in this fictitious world where the character is supposed to be like me, I could not feel more distanced. They are always mean to others, and though yes I have been that person, the one who judges or sneers I have also been the one sneered at - which never seems to happen to the characters in this movie.

Would I be like Scrooge after being visited and suddenly have a whole new perspective? Would I suddenly feel as if I have a whole new meaning if I was simply loved and I loved with all my heart in return? The pessimist within me tells me that this wouldn't happen, that even if the same day were to repeat I would hardly take note. I am a student on a weekend, I stay up till dawn watching films. I have finished my degree, I don't have a job as of yet, the days roll into one another. I suppose it would be different if I wasn't just at some middling point in my life, but my inner being tells me that I would not try to actively change much. What would be the purpose to change my day? Sure I might do something slightly different, watch different films, buy different food, talk to other people, but why would I step out of my comfort zone to change it all?

And yes I do realize that most of these films have some sort of motivator in place to make the character want to change their fate, but if it were me, or any other average joe, why change much at all?

As beings we are selfish, we wish only for our own pleasure if you deny that you are kidding yourself. It's like that friend's episode where Phoebe finds out you don't really do selfless good deeds, you do it because it feels good. But you change things in the Groundhog day movie because it feels better to help other people than it does to be selfish because being happy with others is better than being happy alone. Hence why we are also social beings, even if it scares us.

So is existence just there for us to feel good? For us to seek out how to feel fulfilled, is that what sentience is for a human? To exist is to feel, to emote, to struggle, to understand? Is this why we exist?

The answer, the conclusion to this answer is something that will never be satisfying, or at least my answer won't be. These are just the thoughts of a 21-year-old, struggling through existence, trying to discover what my drive is and who I am, and how I fit into all of this madness.

There was an earthquake where I live, Hull yesterday, now. I suppose it puts into perspective how small we are, how unstable our planet can be, and how we must try to make the most out of everyday. Now excuse me as I go back to scrolling through Facebook and watching cat videos.

~ A.M