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What You Need to Consider Before Starting Therapy

Choosing the Right Therapist for You Before Starting Therapy

By Claudia JerroPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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Something very few of us consider is that our mental health, our personal mental health, is an ongoing work in progress. Life is not static, and there are many experiences or issues that can lead us to feelings of anxiety and depression, or the sudden need for better coping skills. Whether this is due to work stress, family members, or intimate relationships, the simple fact is that you may find yourself considering starting therapy. Before starting therapy, though, you have to find someone to provide it, and the options amongst potential therapists are vast.

Before you think, "Aren't most therapists alike?" you should know that there are many therapists and many methods used, and it is important to identify what ways that therapy can help you. For example, a very common approach is cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT for short. Yet, this practice, though common, may not be the best fit for your needs if you require medication, for example. Therefore, you need to do a few things to find a therapist before starting therapy. Learning a bit about the type of therapy you are most interested in, what will be most helpful to you, and what approaches the different therapists in your area make will pay off better in the future.

As one expert has suggested, "Do some homework before going in…find a therapist, whether a psychologist, a social worker, or a counselor[,]" and then find out about their methodology. Exploring therapists before you visit is only phase one of choosing the right person for the work. Next, you may want to ask friends, loved ones, your doctor, or other medical providers for their recommendations (if you are comfortable doing so). Oftentimes, they have many solid recommendations, and may know you enough to understand the right "fit".

Research Before Starting Therapy

The work you will do when you pay for therapy is very important, and it benefits you to always take time to find the provider who seems the best fit in terms of their approach and the areas of therapy they emphasize. Sometimes though, you also have to accept the fact that a good match is not always assured, even with research.

Again, as that same expert advised, "Allow yourself time to adjust…to sharing confidences with a stranger…It may take time to get used to talking about difficult or painful subjects or things that are embarrassing or taboo. Try to remember that your therapist isn't there to judge you…" Therapy is just the opposite, and keep in mind that most therapists have heard just about anything imaginable before sitting down with you. Most professionals advise trying therapy a few weeks before making any decisions about moving on

Forming Goals

It is very helpful if, before starting therapy, you draft a list of issues and personal goals so you know what you are signing up for. Every single person who seeks therapy does so for their own unique reasons. You may have been someone who has done a lot of introspection, or you might have been someone who shared their problems with friends and kept problems out in the open. Either way, you probably have already thought about issues and concerns, and before starting therapy, it can be very beneficial to organize your thoughts.

Then, as you sit down with a therapist, you can share your ultimate goal or goals, get feedback, and gauge whether or not the sessions feel like a "two way" street.

The "Two-Way Relationship" Nature of Therapy

This is another one of the issues that experts advise you to give attention to before starting therapy, or at least before you consider moving on to someone else. As you have initial meetings or appointments with your provider, you need to feel comfortable and confident when opening up and sharing. This is more complex than many imagine because you will also have to feel certain they are listening to you as you share.

They must listen and respond, and if this is missing or you have a gut feeling that they are just not entirely present or well-suited to you, it is important to address the issue, or even move on. As one writer pointed out, "Don't be afraid to move on and find another provider if you don't think that you and your therapist are clicking."

The goal is to be better, not worse, than before. If there is no teamwork or no sense of a two-way exchange occurring, you won't make progress toward your goals. Your therapist can (and often should) disagree with what you might be saying, offering advice to counteract any flaws in your thoughts or beliefs. Yet, throughout it all, you should feel that they are giving you feedback or responses that show understanding, connection, and attention.

If you feel there is no connection before starting therapy, it is unlikely to develop as time passes.

Progress Counts… Even Before Starting Therapy

If the idea of doing a lot of research, evaluating a potential provider for a few weeks, and having to move on because the fit is not beneficial or productive is upsetting to you, don't let it be. You must never feel like you are giving up if you step away after a few weeks.

Do keep in mind that before starting therapy, you will have to continually remind yourself that it can take time, particularly if you are not one to share feelings or discuss difficult, embarrassing, or awkward issues. It is encouraging to note that many people find that their therapy sessions (with a well-chosen therapist) help them to share far more easily with family and friends afterward.

So, take some time to itemize your goals or the issues that you feel are bringing you to a therapist's office. Whether it is a concern that you are struggling with mental illness, or you have developed some personal challenges and require professional support and advice, or a combination of many different things, you should try to get a bit of clarity. Then start with a simple phone call to recommended therapists or those that seem a good fit based on research.

You may instantly feel comfortable and connected, or you may not. The point is that you are taking key steps in self-care. Before starting therapy, you may not realize how important getting treatment will be; but after you begin, you will be glad you recognized your need and got expert, well-chosen care.

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About the Creator

Claudia Jerro

Determined to find the perfect wine and cheese pairing and dreams of traveling to Paris.

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