When Everything Changed

Once upon a time, there was a girl who was emotionally a mess. What I mean by that is her emotions were everywhere; one day she would be the happiest girl in the world, and the next she would be staying in her room, crying all day and night. The girl had no idea why she felt this way, so she decided to talk to a friend about it. Her friend had similar issues and recommended her to go see a therapist, so she scheduled a appointment.

When she went to the therapist, she was in a bundle of nerves, running up and down her body. She was so nervous she almost walked out, but her friend texted her a good luck text for her appointment. After that, she felt a little bit better, but not over the moon about it. When it was her turn to talk to the therapist, the therapist could tell she was a nervous wreck. The girl told her everything that has been going on for the past five years and the therapist understood why she felt the way she did. The girl had been through a lot; through breakups, family drama, betraying friends, and self harming. No wonder the girl felt the way she did. The girl felt lost in the world and confused. All she wanted to be was happy and she couldn't be happy with all these emotions of her past running through her like a rushing river. The therapist recommended her to open up to her family more and love herself more. The therapist did not know how hard it was for the girl to open up to her family and closest friends. It was hard for her because she's tried before and did not get good results from it at all. She hated herself to her own core, so how could she love herself, she thought?

After a couple months of therapy, the girl started to do the things the therapist told her to do. She started to run again, did breathing exercises, and started to journal. The girl started to see herself in a new light and realized the world, after all, wasn't such a bad place, and neither was she. The only reason she wasn't happy was because of her—she was in the way of her own happiness.

But one day when she thought it was all over, she got a text. The text was from a old fling and he wanted to meet up with her. So out of the girl's new change of heart, she went to meet him. When she saw him for the first time in years, she started to feel the butterflies again, and all the memories came rushing back to her mind. He ran up to her and gave her a big hug. The girl was speechless and started to cry. He asked, "What's wrong? Didn't you want to see me?"

And she said, with tears running down her face, "Well I don't know. Last time we talked you left me and I broke like glass. I got help with it, no thanks to you!"

The boy got upset and said, "I know I hurt you, but I called you here to make it up to you. I want us to be together again. I want to make you happy again."

And the girl, out of her judgment, let him in again, and for a while they were happy as could be. The girl thought, wow, this is what real happiness feels like, and now it's all mine.

But then, after a few weeks of bliss, she learned the truth about him. Ahe learned that he never changed in his ways. She found out all of his lies by just one friend coming up to her and saying she saw him with another girl. Her heart broke into two that day and she couldn't cope. Not this time. So she went back to her messy self with no way to come back from the pain she just felt from the guy she loved, the guy she gave her heart to. The guy who promised her a happy ending just destroyed her and everything she tried to fix. To that day, she stopped going to therapy, stopped running, and stopped journaling.

She started to cut again and drink every single day and night. She blocked her friends and family out of her life and quit her job. One day ,she had enough and cut her wrists so badly she bled out on her bathroom floor surrounded by liquor bottles and pictures of them half burned by a lighter. There was a note gently laying in her hand, and it said:

"Dear everyone who just found out what I've done to myself...I'm sorry I hurt you, everyone, leaving you with this pain...but nobody knows the pain I was feeling or the betrayal he did to me! I couldn't cope with it, I couldn't handle seeing them happy when that should be me! It was just easier this way. It was easier ending my suffering then to try and fix it. Goodbye from yours truly."