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When I Stopped Taking My Medication

Based on a True Story

By Alandria LatsonPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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Not my hand ;)

I have two medicines I take every morning—one for ADHD and another for other psychological problems (Anxiety, bipolar type II, etc.) Prescription drugs or any drug for that matter are never something you should stop taking without permission from your psychiatrist—or in this case, without admission to the psychiatric hospital. There has been a problem with the pharmacy involving my second medication which is an antipsychotic drug so, I have currently been off of it for over a week now. Coming off of antipsychotics suddenly like that can cause problems like a relapse of psychotic symptoms or the development of Tardive psychosis. I had an incident yesterday that I DID NOT START. Although, my mouth escalated to the point that there could’ve been a fight and I could’ve went to jail for murder if I wasn’t calmed down. As the people involved talked over each other to me, I was in a battle with my mind. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t breathe. I just saw me with my hands around someone’s neck. It got so intense to the point where I was shaking and on the verge of an attack.

Thankfully, the mother, an adult, talked to me and listened to me. She also talked about how she also had anger issues and that she knew what I was going through. She didn’t because this was more than just anger issues that was happening, but I appreciated her trying to understand. After that was done, I started hyperventilating and just impulsively walked into the woods without any sense of direction. I started hyperventilating and whispering to myself, “don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it,” over and over again. I threw my umbrella at a tree (lost my umbrella), I threw my jacket on the ground (lost it but my friends found it), and just kept going. As I was walking, I realized one of my younger friends was following further behind. I didn’t talk to him but my maternal instincts told me to lead him to where he was supposed to be so I wasn’t walking aimlessly in the woods anymore. I was trying to find my way to the school so he didn’t get lost.

When we got there I left him and walked down a long road with a dead end and just sat there. My skin was burning from the thorns I was carelessly walking through. After that, I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house for weeks. I would sit in my closet in the dark and isolate myself from everyone. The one time I did go out was with my friends. We went out to Chick-Fil-A and I was so paranoid about everything that I was too scared to get out of the car because I felt like I was going to get judged for only having change and not a credit card or debit card at the time. So, they left me in the car by myself while they went into the restaurant to order.

When I finally decided to come out, as soon as I opened the door to get out of my friend’s car, the alarm went off causing me to panic. Once my friend came out and stopped his car, we went in together but as we were heading to the table, I saw these two boys laughing and staring as I went by. I stopped but my friend didn’t realize I had stopped and continued walking. I walked over to the boys and asked them why they were laughing and they just kept laughing while asking me what I was talking about. As they proceeded to laugh, I just snapped and threatened the two boys that didn’t look older than 17. I’m still convinced they were laughing at me but I would’ve reacted differently than I did that night. That night, I had to go home early because I couldn’t keep myself together. I would stare at those boys and watch their every move. I refused to order my food, my leg was bouncing up and down vigorously as it does often. I called my mom and asked her to come get me.

That is why I do not go over a week without taking my medication.

medicine
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About the Creator

Alandria Latson

Hello :) I am a singer and songwriter. I think all song writers are poets in a way because they’re both expressing what’s hard to say in a way that’s easier to explain, it that makes sense. If you’re just passing through, take a look<3

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