Who Needs a Therapist When (Pt. 21)

A couple years ago I started to see references to the term "narrative therapy" as a therapeutic toolset. At the time I was between therapists, but while art therapy, cognitive behavioral theory, and more traditional psychotherapy had all felt artificial and problematic, I instantly grasped and appreciated narrative therapy.

Of course, I am the sort of person who is fascinated by story, and the way that they have a shaping effect on our worlds. The idea that the stories we tell about ourselves can, themselves, shape our selves seemed instantly intuitive and obvious.

There are a few tenets to narrative therapy, for those who aren't familiar:

1. Reality is socially constructed. Or, at least, our experience of reality is shaped by the society and the social ideas that we are raised in. Like the story of the color Orange, and how it simply wasn't considered separate from red, until the word Orange itself was coined.
2. Secondary to this is the idea that the stories we tell are how society shapes that reality, but I think most western folks would make that connection pretty easily. After all, whether it is the Eskimos with their 60-plus words for snow (not a very good or accurate story, BTW), the Ugly Duckling, or even the rise in anorexia with the rise in media focused on thin girls, it is hard to deny that the stories we tell—and how we tell them—makes a difference on our reality.
3. Narrative offers us meaning, direction, focus, and strength. It gives us a way to validate our emotions and experiences, and it gives us a way to frame our futures in concrete ideas. It doesn't just shape us, but it is a tool that we use, both consciously and subconsciously, to direct our experience. (Who hasn't promised themselves that this cookie will be the last one today because it needs to be. We are telling ourselves a story of us having the willpower that we aren't really sure we actually have.)
4. There is no meaningful objective truth in narrative. Now, I mean, technically this one is that there is no objective truth in reality, but that is a harder one to swallow. I can get behind there being no objective truth to human experience, but all of reality? That's a bit more complicated. Still, the point remains. Especially when you are talking about the interpretation of events in a human life—there cannot possibly be an objective reality because interpretation, stories, and meaning are all constructed regardless.

Anyway, basically, the point of narrative therapy—the main drive and focus—is two-fold:

You are not the events of your life. You have experienced them, they have shaped you, but like a character in a story, you are something separate and unique—more than a sum of your experiences so to speak.

The interpretation of those events is not set in stone and is negotiable. That latter bit is what a lot of the actual practice of narrative therapy focuses on. Breaking down events and emotions and experiences so that you can reframe them into a story that is able to be worked around. A story that can be a positive force in your life, rather than a crippling self-prophecy.

The thing is, that's what all of these blogs are about, right? It is what all those mountains of journal entries are about. It is where my friendships that had therapeutic effects were centered. Narrative has always been a tool that I knew could be wielded in my own life.

So, maybe a fat dose of narrative therapy is what I need to be looking for from all these therapists. Maybe I just need someone who will help me make sense of the madness that has been my life, and find a way to spin the kind of awful recent stuff into something positive.

Into the sort of story where the protagonist can rise again.

Last Week's (Pt. 20)

First Week's