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Healing everybody without setting boundaries is painful for those of us with healing abilities. As a gifted person, I need people to make an appointment. I cannot just heal people without a second thought. I can’t get too busy by the way, I have limitations, and it could take me the rest of my life to get all my degrees since I was busy being an alcoholic in my 20s instead of doing something productive—although I was in junior college getting my two Associates and my Bachelor’s.
I can’t just heal people without an appointment since I have to conserve my energy. I need like 11 to 12 hours of sleep because of my health problems anyway—although I’m trying to see myself as well, if only for the reason that I have banned my family from talking about me, as if I have a disability anyway. I may as well announce that I have a genetic disability called 22q, a deletion on the 22nd chromosome that causes pediatric-onset schizophrenia, and minor facial differences I can’t quite understand right now that I’m scared to ask about. My blog means I’m out about that. I have opened the genetic disorder closet door a crack.
I’m also opening the psychic ability door a crack, as I do not consider my talents real or valid. Yet I can heal myself sleeping 11 to 12 hours. I just need that much sleep to stay functional. I try to go to bed by 8 PM every night. I’m just that strict, because going out at night exhausts me from all the stress. I don’t know if this will ever change. I can do great things in people’s lives with my energy but seriously? Not everybody needs that kind of help. I should start charging for when people tell me they want my energy to get a job.
I still don’t have a job yet, and that’s because I need to make that happen, and I haven’t made that happen. I need some of my energy back, or better yet, I have to make sure somebody with manifestation talent helps me manifest a job. My family’s energy sabotage is what's slowing me down, but I’m the one who has to remove the garden hose-like cords from my body. It's a massive codependent contract that I’ve got to release myself from.
Here I am about to succeed. I cannot heal my family at my expense anymore. I have to focus on myself, on healing myself for a change anyway. I’m succeeding at sleeping for now, which really should be my only responsibility. I have to at least try to make contact with psychic organizations, given that they can deal with my medication taking. I need help from somebody I can trust given that I have to train myself. I don’t know how to use my second sight for example, also called clairvoyance. Healing somebody through touch is a painstaking task though. It is why I'm writing these articles, to get it through people’s heads that I cannot be on all the time. I’m worried that when I’m a bit more public, people will try to manipulate me into working more than I need. I have real limitations caused by type 1 diabetes and my mental illnesses that are now as treated as it gets for me. I need to put myself in mental health rehab, because I have to get my illnesses under control, in particular my C-PTSD. When I make money, I’d spend one month in San Jose, and one month in Los Angeles. This is something that needs to be done and will eventually be done.