Relationships are hard. Trying to have a relationship while having a mental illness is extremely difficult, but not impossible. Whether you have anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or etc., it is not impossible to have a meaningful, sweet relationship.
Something that circles in my mind constantly is, "Do I deserve a relationship?" I'm used to telling myself no. I don't deserve a relationship because I can't put my full focus on that person. I don't deserve one because I can barely love myself, how I could love them? I don't deserve one because they don't deserve to put up with me.
That is complete bullcrap.
Here a list of reasons why we do deserve relationships.
#1 - We are like everyone else.
Despite us thinking that we are completely alone in the world, there are many others who have the same illnesses as we do. They are going through the same things. If my friends can be in relationships than I can too, because I am like them. A person. A human.
#2 - You do not have to love yourself first.
Yes, loving yourself is a huge deal. It is, however, extremely hard to gain a high level of self-confidence. Slowly, I build my own self-confidence but there are many days where I think I am the ugliest person on earth, how could anyone like me. Being in a relationship shouldn't be based on how much you love yourself, but how much you love them. Being in a relationship could help you learn how to love yourself.
#3 - Someone does find you attractive and will love you.
I've always been afraid that people I like will never find me attractive or will never fall in love with me. Something we all have to learn is that people will (and do) love you for who you are. You don't have to be the girl or boy that hides who they are. Someone will come around who truly wants to be with you.
#4 - You do deserve love.
To deny the right of being in love is something that has happened multiple times over the course of history. Interracial marriages were once banned, same sex marriages are slowly becoming legal - love has been restricted. You don't have to restrict yourself. To deny yourself the right to be in love is the lowest form of self-loathing.
With that said, there are a few other things you may want to repeat to yourself. You don't have to want to be in relationship, platonic love is fantastic as well. It's okay to want a relationship, it's normal, people crave other people.
I've spent years thinking I didn't need or want anyone. I've pushed away many people who've liked me in a romantic sense. I can personally tell you that this is no way to live. You are not alone.