6 Things You Don't Say to Someone Who Has Depression

Depression is something to be taken very seriously. If someone tells you they have depression, you need to believe them and try to be supportive. Since one of the symptoms of depression is not to reach out for help, it is important not to shut them down when they actually do. If you don't help someone with depression, please at least redirect them to someone who can help.

1. "Just cheer up."

A good reply to this would be to sarcastically yell: "Omg... I'm cured! Thank you, that's all I needed and you are such a good friend!"

The truth is that depression isn't something easily fixed and simply telling someone to just "Cheer up" or "Be happy!" won't fix or even help the situation. You will probably just come across as mocking the person or, at very least be, mildly annoying.

This is something that has actually been said to me. It just made me more upset which gave my peers at the time more reason to think I was making a mountain out of a molehill. However, years later, some of them did develop depression for themselves and have had radical changes of views on how depression works.

2. "It's all in your head."

Well, for starters... I guess a decent amount of it is technically in your head because that is where your brain is. With that said, depression isn't something that is "mind over matter" and it's not something that can be fixed with the placebo effect.

Again, this is something that has actually been said to me, and quite frankly... it really bothered me.

3. "Taking pills for depression isn't a good idea."

A reply that I use a lot is: "I didn't know you went to medical school?"

They usually take a second to realize why you said that... Then just get quiet and grumpy.

The truth is, they shouldn't be telling you what pills you should or shouldn't take. They have very little knowledge on the topic and probably no knowledge of your medical history and family history. So why do they think they should make such a bold opinion?

4. "Snap out of it."

This one goes back to the first one, depression isn't something that can be fixed in one day... Let alone in one second. So it really isn't fair to ask someone to snap out of it so quickly.

This particular phrase "Snap out of it" is also pretty aggressive, so please don't think it's okay for anyone to say this to you.

5. "You must keep acting like this because you are getting something out of it. Are you doing it for attention?"

My high school guidance counselor told me this and I genuinely believed her at the time. I believed that the reason for my depression was because I let it get this bad and because I found some value in living like this. This was not, and is not the case. Sure, it might be true that some people don't always take the next step towards getting better because we get used to and sometimes even feel some comfort in our depressed habits. With that said, depression is a medical/physical problem too, not just a phycological problem. This isn't a fair thing to tell someone who has depression.

6. "I just don't understand why you don't do things that are fun, what's wrong with you?"

A good response to this is: "Maybe I genuinely enjoy staying indoors all the time. Have you thought of that?"

On a more serious note, the reason people with depression don't do things they used to enjoy is because that is one of the symptoms of depression. If someone doesn't understand this, it's because they haven't had depression, so it's okay to just ignore them. Accusing them of never having depression will never lead to anything good. Trust me.

This is something my sister has actually said to me once... However, she hasn't said it since she has had her first experience with depression.

If you have depression, please know that it is okay to ask for help.

Knowing when to ask for help is actually a sign of strength. Even if you don't NEED help, it can be really nice sometimes. So please don't be afraid to ask for help from a friend or family member. If you have no one to turn to, here is a helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Please take care of yourself.

Thank you

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