The Importance of Pushing Through Anxiety and Enjoying the Moment

When your anxiety can be triggered by something as simple as walking out your door to begin your day; you learn to endure. But what about enjoying the moment instead of just enduring the situation? Is it possible to push through the anxiety you feel in order to experience joy?

Those of us who suffer through anxiety on a daily basis know how to endure uncomfortable situations. We are used to feeling uncomfortable, and know that it will happen. We expect it to, and we are never let down in that regard. Some of us have changed our whole lives around to accommodate our anxiety in an attempt to make things easier for ourselves. Some of us are still trying to figure out the least stressful routine for our day-to-day lives. Some of us haven’t allowed ourselves to experience joy, or to experience living in the moment for a long time.

Recently I found myself asking, “Is this really it? Is this all I can expect out of life?” I was tired of just enduring when most of the people around me were fully living in the moment. I didn’t have time to stop and smell the flowers when my anxiety kept me eight steps ahead of where I currently was in my day. From the moment I woke up my brain would plan everything out, and I mean everything. For every single possible outcome, my brain would plan out multiple different possible outcomes so that I felt prepared and in control of any situation I may experience. I was unable to practice mindfulness in my daily routines because I was already feeling anxious about where I had to drive next, what project had to be completed next, or what meeting I had to prepare for next. It was always about what was happening next, not what was happening now.

Once I realized this, it sparked an anxiety attack. I felt like a failure somehow because I hadn’t forced myself to enjoy every single moment in my day. I felt like a failure because I realized how out of control I actually was in my control-focused life. I also felt silly for feeling more anxious after I realized how anxious I truly was during my daily tasks. This was a negative, fear-based thought pattern that I had to let go of quickly. I had to remind myself that I’m not a failure, and that it’s okay to feel anxious and it’s okay to find a work-around for the things that trigger my anxiety. But I didn’t want to live there in the work-around world, I wanted to challenge myself to push through enduring the anxiety so that I could begin enjoying my life. So, I did an experiment.

I tracked my anxiety triggers for two weeks and tried to take note of everything that gave me anxious feelings. Once I knew what would most likely trigger my anxiety, I felt more prepared to challenge myself. I picked a day that I had a photoshoot with new models and a new photographer, which pretty much guaranteed anxiety, and began my challenge. Since driving is an anxiety trigger for me, my partner offered to drive me to and from my photoshoot which helped a lot, but I was still in an anticipatory cold sweat before stepping outside my apartment. During the ride, whenever I felt anxious about the traffic around us, her vehicle’s speed, or traveling to unfamiliar parts of the city, I challenged myself to find something enjoyable about that moment. Instead of fully allowing myself to succumb to anxiety when a car cut us off in traffic, I looked out the window and noticed some wild sunflowers growing out of the asphalt by the highway. Instead of feeling nervous about a traffic jam, I found a song I liked on the radio and sang along. I did my breathing exercises the whole way to the venue, but still felt anxious once we arrived.

My stomach began to hurt and I was sweating more. Because of these feelings, I gave myself some extra time to practice deep breathing before getting out of the car. I reminded myself that I was safe, that I was wanted, and that I was going to have a fun experience once I got inside. After finding the studio, I saw other models working with the photographers and reminded myself that it’s okay for my mind to be fuzzy and distant because my body knows what to do. I’ve done this before, I could rely on muscle memory if necessary. I focused on decreasing the pressure I’d already put on myself. I focused less on delivering perfect angles, and more on enjoying my time in front of the camera.

By the end of the photoshoot, I felt energized and refreshed. I felt successful, and I was proud of myself! I made sure to give myself props, and my partner gave me props as well. We talked about the experience after getting back into the car, and I allowed myself to feel happy with the results of the day. I allowed myself to accept compliments about my performance from my partner, even though there was a fear-based thought in the back of my mind that told me I could have done better. I forced my brain to only think about the happy moments and the fun outcome of the photoshoot.

The first time I did this exercise, it was very difficult. I felt like I barely had control over my brain, and had to constantly re-align my thoughts to focus on the positive. I had to remind myself of the basics: that I was safe, that I was wanted, and that I knew what to do because I’d done it before. I had to consciously seek out the joyful moments. I had to do my breathing exercises over and over again. I had to go all the way back to square one of coping with anxiety, but I succeeded.

Now, after completing this exercise multiple times, I find it easier to experience happiness in my daily moments. I still endure anxiety on a daily basis, and I still feel overwhelmed sometimes. But I also feel happy sometimes, which is much more than I had in my life previously. I’ve proven to myself that it is possible to push through anxiety and actually enjoy the moment ahead of me, and I've given myself permission to continue to experience happiness.

Hopefully this blog inspires you to try your own personal challenges with anxiety. Remember, you can choose happiness! It just takes practice.