The Overwhelming Feeling of S.A.D

Stress, anxiety and depression can be draining. So much so, that you can’t get out of bed, you can’t seem to be able to make yourself get up and eat, or to get yourself to stop eating, or to even communicate to anyone. Stuff around your room piles up because you don’t have the energy to pick anything up. It seems like you’re alone in a fight that no one else can see, they can’t see what you’re fighting against, can’t see what is swallowing you whole into an abyss of nothing. Your body shaking, the fear of anything going wrong, anything being out of align of the routine, anyone getting upset or angry or disappointed at you or what you have done. This beats you down, over and over and over again, and it is everything you can do to just stay afloat and breathe. You’re so exhausted because you face the same fight everyday, using more and more effort to push it back after each day, so much you wear yourself thin, and the fight gets harder. You become overwhelmed. You start questioning. Is this worth it? Is this all there is? When will it get better? Does anyone even care? Do they not see this? Is this all in my head? What’s wrong with me? What have I done wrong? These questions starts softly, yet the longer this spiral of dark lasts it gets louder, and louder. It eventually gets so loud that you snap. You yell at someone, you break something, you hurt yourself, you hurt someone else.

Then you're alone.

It’s okay. It’s okay to feel this way. Want to know why? Because you are not alone. So many people are fighting alongside you. People have been in your shoes, fighting this same fight. You need to remember that you can get through this. Things will get better. Time and effort from your part to get yourself out of this intense abyss. Even if this effort from you is to put forth what little energy you have to ask for help. How else are you going to be able to move on if you can’t help yourself? Help yourself by reaching out to others. They can help guide you to do better. Help support you as you struggle through. Help you feel like you’re not alone. The most important thing about this though, is to give this time. This fight against anxiety, depression, and even stress can not be won overnight and it can’t be easily “gotten over.” The only way to win this, is to figure out your own best way to work with your demons. They are never truly gone, but can be silenced through work, time, and understanding. A great start is to do a little bit of self care to help gain some momentum, and I am not talking about spa days, napping, or relaxing. What I mean is to get yourself out of bed, take a shower, clean your living quarters, anything that’s productive no matter how small of a task it seems will help you chisel bit by bit at this wall that is keeping you away from being in control. You can be in control, you just need to turn the key. The question to ask yourself at this point is, when are you going to take the initiative to get yourself to the door?